Edit - Western Mountaineering Versalite - Eric Jenness
Welcome to BackpackGearTest.org! I have been assigned to edit your Owner Review. Before I can complete this, though, you will need to make some substantial revisions to conform to our rules and conventions. Even though your Review has most of the required information, we have protocols that enable our readers to browse our reviews more easily. I suggest that you read the Survival Guide (available under the "How to Become a Tester" tab at BackpackGearTest.org), and revise your report before reposting here.
I strongly advise you to request a mentor, which you can do by sending an email to mentor@.... Under our mentor program an experienced tester will work with you to get you familiar with the Owner Review process and BGT's rules. There's no stigma attached; many of our veteran testers are former mentees.
I'm going to proceed with specific edits, and when you've revised your report accordingly please (a) post the html version to the Tests/Owner Reviews folder at backpackgeartest.org, and (b) repost the plain text version to this list, with REPOST, the product name, and your name in the subject line, and a link to the Tests/OR folder copy in the body of your post.
First, some general issues:
The title should have the product name in the first line, "Owner Review by Eric Jernness" in the second line, and the date in the third.
Your "Backpacking Experience" section needs some more detail, particularly about where you hike, your shelter preference, and the type of kit you usually carry. Check out some of the Owner Reviews by our testers for some examples.
We have conventions for statistics such as measurements, weight, and temperatures. You'll find them below the Conversion Table at backpackgeartest.org. I'm not going to list all that need changing you should do that when revising but here are two examples: -30 (-34
C) and 70 degrees F (21 C) should be -30 F (-34 C) and 70 F (21 C); 205 lbs should be 205 lb [abbreviations are always singular].
Your Summary should include specific Likes and Dislikes.
Now for particular edits. I use the standard BGT approach. EDIT (all caps) is a required change, Edit (initial cap) is a suggested change or request for clarification, and Comment is just that, with no change required.
This may seem like a daunting task, but your Review does have most of what we need, and in most cases your meanings are clear. I hope you'll work through this with us.
<<City, State, Country: Point Judith, RI, USA>>
EDIT: Rhode Island. Our non-US readers may be unfamiliar with the US postal abbreviations.
<<Date: April 1, 2011>>
EDIT: As noted, this should be in the title. Delete it here.
<<Manufacturer: Sierra Designs>>
EDIT: Western Mountaineering. You'll need to fix the URL too.
<<A full-length zipper runs down the side, with an insulated draft tube running alongside it>>
Edit: Indicate which side, and note that WM sells both left and right side zippers if that's the case.
<<and a length of stiffening material sewn underneath the adjacent babric to prevent zipper snagging.>>
EDIT: fabric [spelling]
<<It has been on marine adventures as well as land ones and has survived
4000 miles on the Appalachian Trail.>>
EDIT: We need the metric equivalent. As the Imperial is rounded, the metric should be too.
<< For the average male I would say this is accurate. >>
EDIT: BGT limits reporting on personal experience what you experienced. Speculating on how another might find the bag, which we call "projection," is not allowed. Indicate if it has been accurate for you, and whether you sleep hot, cold, or somewhere in between.
<<I have "cowboy-camped" or slept without a tent in this bag for much of it's life>>
EDIT: its life [no apostrophe]