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Re: EDIT - Western Mountaineering Sequoia sleeping bag - Lyon

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  • richardglyon
    Roger - Revised second paragraph under The Product: ... Let me know if this meets your concern. Cheers, Richard
    Message 1 of 7 , Jan 3, 2011
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      Roger -

      Revised second paragraph under "The Product:"

      ----Today the Sequoia is available in two fabrics: Gore Windstopper™ (GWS) or MicroLite XP™ Microfiber (MF). My Sequoia, which I purchased circa 1990, uses nylon taffeta fabric. Though the fabrics have changed (neither of the current fabrics existed in 1990, though Western Mountaineering did offer the bag with then-state-of-the-art waterproof/breathable shells), the Sequoia's design has remained unchanged over the years, and today's buyer will receive pretty much what I received, except for the latest in fabrics. ----

      Let me know if this meets your concern.

      Cheers, Richard

      --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "Roger Caffin" <r.caffin@...> wrote:
      >
      >
      > In which case the OR needs to make it clear right at the start, that
      > * you are reviewing the Sequoia bag in general
      > * it hasn't changed in 20+ years apart from different (improved) fabrics
      >
      > Can do?
      >

      >
    • Roger Caffin
      Re: EDIT - Western Mountaineering Sequoia sleeping bag - Lyon Hi Richard Amazing - a product which has not been replaced by a totally new model every 12 months
      Message 2 of 7 , Jan 5, 2011
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        Re: EDIT - Western Mountaineering Sequoia sleeping bag - Lyon

        Hi Richard

        Amazing - a product which has not been replaced by a totally new model every
        12 months (like shoes). OK, I understand now, but whether every casual
        reader would understand immediately remains a bit of a concern. I am aiming
        for perfect clarity, especially as you are an Editor :-)

        At the risk of being overly intrusive, I took what you wrote and added a
        couple of tweaks and shuffles to just make that section really clear to me.
        Herewith for your consideration. You will note that I have given Long and
        Regular capitals, like model names. I find that helps to make it clear that
        we are using those words as model categories rather than adjectives.

        Over to you
        Cheers
        Roger Caffin
        -------------------------------
        THE PRODUCT

        Though listed as a semi-rectangular sleeping bag, the Sequoia is a hybrid
        that incorporates some features from standard mummy and semi-rec designs.
        Here's a photo of the Sequoia next to the one mummy bag I still own, which
        illustrates the difference in shape.

        Today the Sequoia is available in two fabrics: Gore WindstopperT (GWS) or
        MicroLite XPT Microfiber (MF). My Sequoia, which I purchased circa 1990,
        uses nylon taffeta fabric. Neither of the current fabrics existed in 1990,
        though Western Mountaineering did offer the bag with then-state-of-the-art
        waterproof/breathable shells. So while the fabrics have changed over the
        years, the Sequoia's design has remained unchanged over the years, and
        today's buyer will receive pretty much what I received, except for the
        latest in fabrics.

        My bag is Western Mountaineering's standard Long size, at 6 feet 6 inches
        (1.98 m); the Sequoia is also available in a size Regular at 6 feet (1.83
        m). When I purchased mine it was rated to 5 F (-15 C); today the Sequoia may
        be ordered at that rating or at -15 F (-26 C), in either fabric. Listed
        data below are for the 5 F/-15 C Long versions.
      • richardglyon
        Roger, This is why we have editors, to clarify what s obvious to the writer but not so plain to the reader. Except for using over the years twice in the same
        Message 3 of 7 , Jan 6, 2011
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          Roger,

          This is why we have editors, to clarify what's obvious to the writer but not so plain to the reader. Except for using "over the years" twice in the same sentence I'll go with what you wrote, and I now see why you were concerned.

          You're right about how unusual it is that WM hasn't made cosmetic changes as "new models." I believe its only changes in its line of sleeping bags in the past twenty years have been to add its ultralight bags, to add the Bristlecone, and for some reason to rename the Aspen as the Alder.

          Cheers, Richard

          --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "Roger Caffin" <r.caffin@...> wrote:
          >
          > Re: EDIT - Western Mountaineering Sequoia sleeping bag - Lyon
          >
          > Hi Richard
          >
          > Amazing - a product which has not been replaced by a totally new model every
          > 12 months (like shoes). OK, I understand now, but whether every casual
          > reader would understand immediately remains a bit of a concern. I am aiming
          > for perfect clarity, especially as you are an Editor :-)
          >
          > At the risk of being overly intrusive, I took what you wrote and added a
          > couple of tweaks and shuffles to just make that section really clear to me.
          > Herewith for your consideration. You will note that I have given Long and
          > Regular capitals, like model names. I find that helps to make it clear that
          > we are using those words as model categories rather than adjectives.
          >
          > Over to you
          > Cheers
          > Roger Caffin
          > -------------------------------
          >
          >
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