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EDIT: OWNER'S REVIEW - Platypus 2 Liter Bag - Alex

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  • Ray
    Hello Alex Thank you for your Owner Review, your initial edits will follow. They will take the following format; EDIT: must be changed Edit: should be changed
    Message 1 of 3 , Jul 9, 2010
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      Hello Alex

      Thank you for your Owner Review, your initial edits will follow. They will take the following format;

      EDIT: must be changed
      Edit: should be changed but will be left to your discretion
      Comment: just that or something to think about

      When you have made the changes please repost here with REPOST added to the subject line. Include your name also please.

      Some very helpful information may be found here;
      http://www.backpackgeartest.org/lesson.php?lesson=BecomeTester&page=1

      Please notice the form that the review should take in the "Examples", you may also wish to browse the reviews of other experienced members for examples of the proper form.

      A helpful tool is the Mentoring Program that teams new reviewers with experienced veterans to help get them through their first review(s). If you'd like more assistance or guidance with the process you can request a mentor by sending an email to the mentor coordinator, Jenn, at mentor@...

      Ray


      EDIT: your review needs a title. It needs to state which model of Platypus bottle you have as it is not obvious to me what you have.



      ***Weight: about 175 lbs.(about 79.5 kg)

      EDIT: can you put the actual weight, not "about" please. I understand we all fluctuate, but as we need to precise with our gear weights we may as well pretend we are with our own. ;-)



      ***City, State, Country: Kent, WA, U.S.A.

      EDIT: please spell out the state for the benefit of our international readers




      Date: June 12, 2010


      ***Weight: 0.6 ounces

      EDIT: you need Metric (or Imperial) conversions for all measurements, weights, distances, etc.



      ***Dimensions: 10 in. x 6 in.

      EDIT: you need Metric (or Imperial) conversions for all measurements, weights, distances, etc.



      ***Purchase Price: about $10

      EDIT: this needs to be headed "MSRP" and only have the actual MSRP from the manufacturer, not what you paid




      ***Out of the package, the Platypus comes with the water-bottle-bag itself,
      and a screw on cap. The Platypus 2L water bottle is a foldable plastic water
      storage device.

      EDIT: please go to the web site and figure out what you have and change the name to match



      *** If I'd been carrying a traditional water bottle, I know I wouldn't have been able to pack as much water, and I probably would have noticed the weight difference.

      Edit: as the first year you must have been using traditional bottles this does not make sense.



      ***Another plus is that the bottom of the Platypus expands so it can stand on its
      own; you don't have to lie it down on its side to set it down.

      EDIT: We keep everything in the first person, no "you"s, just "me" and "I". Here is my canned explanation.

      Projection

      "When you tighten the laces on the boots, you pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then you tie it with a double knot and you are ready to go down the trail."

      This is a very common way to write, but in doing so we just said what "other people" would do, not our self. This is projecting our thoughts onto the reader. We do not know how other people tie their shoes. We keep away from "you" and "your" in our writing.

      We are writing a review of "our" gear based on "our" experiences. So we need to keep it in the first person. Here is how it should look;

      "When I tighten the laces on the boots, I pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then I tie it with a double knot and I'm ready to go down the trail."



      *** The main difficult with the Platypus is cleaning it.

      EDIT: The main "difficulty" with the Platy



      *** Then again, as long as you leave the cap off and let the water evaporate after your trip, you shouldn't have a problem with things growing inside.

      EDIT: the "you, your" thing again



      ***I've used other products similar to it (i.e. Camelback),

      EDIT: we do not do comparisons. We just review the gear on its own merits



      Something else to think about is putting a Field Data, Field Locations, Places I've Used the Gear, etc section in the review. Look at other Owner Reviews for examples. I take it that you have used the bottle backpack too, right? It is good to know this as we do focus on use backpacking. Also, where did you carry the bottle? In the side pocket of your day pack? The back pocket? Inside? Did you ever freeze water in it to keep it cold through the day? Ever put anything besides water in it? If so did the material retain flavors?
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