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EDIT - Big Agnes King Solomon bag - Katy Welter

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  • richardglyon
    Hello, Katy, and welcome to BackpackGearTest.org. I ve been assigned to edit your Owner Review on the King Solomon. Before I can do so, however, you must post
    Message 1 of 9 , Apr 9, 2010
    • 0 Attachment
      Hello, Katy, and welcome to BackpackGearTest.org. I've been assigned to edit your Owner Review on the King Solomon. Before I can do so, however, you must post an html copy of your Review in the Tests/Owner Reviews folder on the BackpackGearTest.org site, and include a link to that posting (in tinyurl format) to this list. Please do so when you repost your revised Review, and post the plain text version to this list, with REPOST-OR- Big Agnes King Solomon Sleeping Bag, and your name in the subject line.

      One further general comment: we strongly encourage photographs in every review, and they are required in every review (and every Test Series) after your first OR. Especially with an unusual piece of gear like a sleeping bag for two, photos can really help our readers.

      This is a very good first cut at an Owner Review, despite the fact that you've selected a relatively complex piece of equipment. Given that, I'm going to proceed with my edits, so that when you upload to the Tests/OR folder you'll have made the first round of corrections.

      I use BGT's standard format for edits: EDIT (all caps) is a required change; Edit (initial cap) a suggested change or request for clarification; and Comment is just that, with no change required.


      <<BIG AGNES -- KING SOLOMON 15 DEGREE "DOUBLEWIDE" SLEEPING BAG
      [Title] By Katy Welter>>
      EDIT: Move the date to just under your name, and delete it from your personal details. This is the standard BGT format.

      <<Height: 5' 7" (170 centimeters)
      Weight: 135 lbs (61 kg)>>
      EDIT: BGT's conventions for measurements are listed just below the conversion table on the website. Always singular, so "lb" not "lbs"
      Edit: I recommend "cm" instead of "centimeters." I also recommend using "ft" and "in" rather than the apostrophe and quotation marks. That's required everywhere except personal height so it's a good habit to get into.

      <<City, State, Country: Chicago, IL USA>>
      EDIT: Illinois. Our non-US readers may not know the USPS abbreviations.

      <<Backpacking Background:>>
      EDIT: What you've included is fine, but you need to add something about your backpacking style, such as typical pack weight, shelter type, and the like. Check out some other ORs for examples. What you have below about being lightweight except for the King Solomon is a good way to start; move it up to here.

      <<I became an enthusiastic backcountry backpacker after taking a 70-day
      Rocky Mountain NOLS course in 2007.>>
      EDIT: Again for our non-US readers you should use National Outdoor Leadership School.

      <<Our heights:
      5' 6" (1.68 m)
      5' 10" (1.78 m)>>
      Edit/Comment: Good for you for including these. Consider adding a sentence or two about how you sleep: hot, cold, or intermediate.

      << WR surface treatment to repel water [two places]
      EDIT: Either delete "WR" or delete "to repel water" and spell out "Water repellant" at the beginning. [Redundant]

      <<Specifications per Big Agnes website:>>
      EDIT: You should include your own measurements as well
      EDIT: Here we require "in" instead of the quotation mark.

      <<There's even a draft "flap" that fills the space between two people's heads, which you can pack away handily in a little velcro pocket.>>
      EDIT: Velcro is a trademark, and its owner guards it jealously. Unless Big Agnes specifies Velcro (with a capital V) you must substitute "hook-and-loop."
      EDIT: We don't allow projection – reporting on what someone else might experience or what you might experience in conditions you haven't yet encountered. Accordingly, any use of the second person (you or your) is suspect. This instance is borderline, but others in your Review are clearly projection. Change to "I can pack away." In revising your Review, try to eliminate any reference to anyone other than your bag's users – you and your husband. I'm not going to flag each such use, but I shall on the next iteration.

      << no insulation, and two slots for holding standard 20" width sleeping
      pads.>>
      EDIT: in for inches, and everywhere in your Review that you identify a measurement or temperature you must provide the appropriate conversion. Again, I'm not going to flag them all, look for them and add the appropriate conversions.

      << You don't need Big Agnes brand pads: we use an REI and
      Thermarest brand 3/4 length pads.>>
      EDIT: Another brand, which requires it be used exactly as its manufacturer does: Therm-a-Rest.

      <<you'll need at least a 70L backpack (or a wide 60-65L pack) to stuff it into. >>
      EDIT: Replace the "you;" this is a clear example of projection.
      EDIT: BGT convention requires a space between the number and the unit of measurement: 70 L and 60-65 L. And you need the cubic inch equivalents in parentheses.

      << We'd had great success with Big Agnes tents, so we decided to give the King Solomon ("KS" from here) a try.>>
      Edit: Another, easier-to-follow, abbreviation would read better; consider "the bag" or "the King."

      <<We slept in the KS in temperatures ranging from 0 degrees and 30 mph
      wind at 17,000 feet in Nepal in a drafty teahouse on a wood bed to 85
      degrees>>
      EDIT: Another BGT convention: no "degrees" or degree symbol. Here and elsewhere in your Review. Here it should be 0 F (-17 C) and 85 F (29 C).

      <<We often wished we had a 30-degree version of the pack because we were so warm>>
      EDIT: I think you mean "version of the bag."
      Comment: "degree" is OK here

      <<but there are no lighter doublewides, to my knowledge). >>
      Edit/Comment: Be careful with observations such as this. Though it's accurate, since its to your knowledge, it can be misleading if in fact several other manufacturers do offer lighter weight doubles. Check out Nunatak, for example. Just a warning; no need for a change.

      <<Considering we only carry one bag, its a very reasonable weight (not ultralight, but it's worth the snuggle ).>>
      EDIT: it's a very reasonable weight
      Edit: "but the snuggle is worth any marginal extra weight" would be more accurate
      Comment: I think it's worth it too.

      <<The only difficulty with the KS is compression it.>>
      EDIT: "is compression" or "is compressing it"

      <<If you're looking for a bag to share with your partner, the Big Agnes
      King Solomon is one of the only backpacker friendly bags on the
      market.>>
      EDIT: Get rid of that "you."
      Edit: backpacker-friendly [with a hyphen]
      Edit: "one of the few" reads better

      General Edit: Have you cleaned the bag? If so, you should describe how frequently you've done so and the process used. Check out some other Reviews for examples.
    • katywelter
      Hi Richard, Thank you very much for your edits. I have made the suggested and required changes, and am ready to post my latest version. However, I m a little
      Message 2 of 9 , Apr 12, 2010
      • 0 Attachment
        Hi Richard,

        Thank you very much for your edits. I have made the suggested and required changes, and am ready to post my latest version. However, I'm a little confused about when to post an html version. The instructions for becoming a reviewer indicate that I should wait until my review has been finalized (ie, after multiple edits). It also says that you will create a folder for my review. http://www.backpackgeartest.org/lesson.php?lesson=BecomeTester&page=8 But I understand your message to indicate that I should upload an html format review now. Could you please clarify my next steps?

        Thank you,

        Katy

        --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "richardglyon" <montana.angler@...> wrote:
        >
        > Hello, Katy, and welcome to BackpackGearTest.org. I've been assigned to edit your Owner Review on the King Solomon. Before I can do so, however, you must post an html copy of your Review in the Tests/Owner Reviews folder on the BackpackGearTest.org site, and include a link to that posting (in tinyurl format) to this list. Please do so when you repost your revised Review, and post the plain text version to this list, with REPOST-OR- Big Agnes King Solomon Sleeping Bag, and your name in the subject line.
        >
        > One further general comment: we strongly encourage photographs in every review, and they are required in every review (and every Test Series) after your first OR. Especially with an unusual piece of gear like a sleeping bag for two, photos can really help our readers.
        >
        > This is a very good first cut at an Owner Review, despite the fact that you've selected a relatively complex piece of equipment. Given that, I'm going to proceed with my edits, so that when you upload to the Tests/OR folder you'll have made the first round of corrections.
        >
        > I use BGT's standard format for edits: EDIT (all caps) is a required change; Edit (initial cap) a suggested change or request for clarification; and Comment is just that, with no change required.
        >
        >
        > <<BIG AGNES -- KING SOLOMON 15 DEGREE "DOUBLEWIDE" SLEEPING BAG
        > [Title] By Katy Welter>>
        > EDIT: Move the date to just under your name, and delete it from your personal details. This is the standard BGT format.
        >
        > <<Height: 5' 7" (170 centimeters)
        > Weight: 135 lbs (61 kg)>>
        > EDIT: BGT's conventions for measurements are listed just below the conversion table on the website. Always singular, so "lb" not "lbs"
        > Edit: I recommend "cm" instead of "centimeters." I also recommend using "ft" and "in" rather than the apostrophe and quotation marks. That's required everywhere except personal height so it's a good habit to get into.
        >
        > <<City, State, Country: Chicago, IL USA>>
        > EDIT: Illinois. Our non-US readers may not know the USPS abbreviations.
        >
        > <<Backpacking Background:>>
        > EDIT: What you've included is fine, but you need to add something about your backpacking style, such as typical pack weight, shelter type, and the like. Check out some other ORs for examples. What you have below about being lightweight except for the King Solomon is a good way to start; move it up to here.
        >
        > <<I became an enthusiastic backcountry backpacker after taking a 70-day
        > Rocky Mountain NOLS course in 2007.>>
        > EDIT: Again for our non-US readers you should use National Outdoor Leadership School.
        >
        > <<Our heights:
        > 5' 6" (1.68 m)
        > 5' 10" (1.78 m)>>
        > Edit/Comment: Good for you for including these. Consider adding a sentence or two about how you sleep: hot, cold, or intermediate.
        >
        > << WR surface treatment to repel water [two places]
        > EDIT: Either delete "WR" or delete "to repel water" and spell out "Water repellant" at the beginning. [Redundant]
        >
        > <<Specifications per Big Agnes website:>>
        > EDIT: You should include your own measurements as well
        > EDIT: Here we require "in" instead of the quotation mark.
        >
        > <<There's even a draft "flap" that fills the space between two people's heads, which you can pack away handily in a little velcro pocket.>>
        > EDIT: Velcro is a trademark, and its owner guards it jealously. Unless Big Agnes specifies Velcro (with a capital V) you must substitute "hook-and-loop."
        > EDIT: We don't allow projection – reporting on what someone else might experience or what you might experience in conditions you haven't yet encountered. Accordingly, any use of the second person (you or your) is suspect. This instance is borderline, but others in your Review are clearly projection. Change to "I can pack away." In revising your Review, try to eliminate any reference to anyone other than your bag's users – you and your husband. I'm not going to flag each such use, but I shall on the next iteration.
        >
        > << no insulation, and two slots for holding standard 20" width sleeping
        > pads.>>
        > EDIT: in for inches, and everywhere in your Review that you identify a measurement or temperature you must provide the appropriate conversion. Again, I'm not going to flag them all, look for them and add the appropriate conversions.
        >
        > << You don't need Big Agnes brand pads: we use an REI and
        > Thermarest brand 3/4 length pads.>>
        > EDIT: Another brand, which requires it be used exactly as its manufacturer does: Therm-a-Rest.
        >
        > <<you'll need at least a 70L backpack (or a wide 60-65L pack) to stuff it into. >>
        > EDIT: Replace the "you;" this is a clear example of projection.
        > EDIT: BGT convention requires a space between the number and the unit of measurement: 70 L and 60-65 L. And you need the cubic inch equivalents in parentheses.
        >
        > << We'd had great success with Big Agnes tents, so we decided to give the King Solomon ("KS" from here) a try.>>
        > Edit: Another, easier-to-follow, abbreviation would read better; consider "the bag" or "the King."
        >
        > <<We slept in the KS in temperatures ranging from 0 degrees and 30 mph
        > wind at 17,000 feet in Nepal in a drafty teahouse on a wood bed to 85
        > degrees>>
        > EDIT: Another BGT convention: no "degrees" or degree symbol. Here and elsewhere in your Review. Here it should be 0 F (-17 C) and 85 F (29 C).
        >
        > <<We often wished we had a 30-degree version of the pack because we were so warm>>
        > EDIT: I think you mean "version of the bag."
        > Comment: "degree" is OK here
        >
        > <<but there are no lighter doublewides, to my knowledge). >>
        > Edit/Comment: Be careful with observations such as this. Though it's accurate, since its to your knowledge, it can be misleading if in fact several other manufacturers do offer lighter weight doubles. Check out Nunatak, for example. Just a warning; no need for a change.
        >
        > <<Considering we only carry one bag, its a very reasonable weight (not ultralight, but it's worth the snuggle ).>>
        > EDIT: it's a very reasonable weight
        > Edit: "but the snuggle is worth any marginal extra weight" would be more accurate
        > Comment: I think it's worth it too.
        >
        > <<The only difficulty with the KS is compression it.>>
        > EDIT: "is compression" or "is compressing it"
        >
        > <<If you're looking for a bag to share with your partner, the Big Agnes
        > King Solomon is one of the only backpacker friendly bags on the
        > market.>>
        > EDIT: Get rid of that "you."
        > Edit: backpacker-friendly [with a hyphen]
        > Edit: "one of the few" reads better
        >
        > General Edit: Have you cleaned the bag? If so, you should describe how frequently you've done so and the process used. Check out some other Reviews for examples.
        >
      • jetriple@rockwellcollins.com
        Hi Katy... You should upload your html to the TEST folder during the edit process. Once it is approved the official folder will be created (if required) and
        Message 3 of 9 , Apr 12, 2010
        • 0 Attachment
          Hi Katy... You should upload your html to the TEST folder during the edit
          process. Once it is approved the official folder will be created (if
          required) and you can put the finished file there, and then delete the one
          in the test folder.

          The test folder for Owner Reviews is located here:
          http://www.backpackgeartest.org/reviews/test/OWNER%20REVIEWS/

          But you'll need to log in first in order to upload.

          Hope this helps.

          Jet

          BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com wrote on 04/12/2010 01:09:58 PM:

          > Hi Richard,
          >
          > Thank you very much for your edits. I have made the suggested and
          > required changes, and am ready to post my latest version. However,
          > I'm a little confused about when to post an html version. The
          > instructions for becoming a reviewer indicate that I should wait
          > until my review has been finalized (ie, after multiple edits). It
          > also says that you will create a folder for my review. http://www.
          > backpackgeartest.org/lesson.php?lesson=BecomeTester&page=8 But I
          > understand your message to indicate that I should upload an html
          > format review now. Could you please clarify my next steps?
          >
          > Thank you,
          >
          > Katy
          >
          > --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "richardglyon" <montana.
          > angler@...> wrote:
          > >
          > > Hello, Katy, and welcome to BackpackGearTest.org. I've been
          > assigned to edit your Owner Review on the King Solomon. Before I can
          > do so, however, you must post an html copy of your Review in the
          > Tests/Owner Reviews folder on the BackpackGearTest.org site, and
          > include a link to that posting (in tinyurl format) to this list.
          > Please do so when you repost your revised Review, and post the plain
          > text version to this list, with REPOST-OR- Big Agnes King Solomon
          > Sleeping Bag, and your name in the subject line.
          > >
          > > One further general comment: we strongly encourage photographs in
          > every review, and they are required in every review (and every Test
          > Series) after your first OR. Especially with an unusual piece of
          > gear like a sleeping bag for two, photos can really help our readers.
          > >
          > > This is a very good first cut at an Owner Review, despite the fact
          > that you've selected a relatively complex piece of equipment. Given
          > that, I'm going to proceed with my edits, so that when you upload to
          > the Tests/OR folder you'll have made the first round of corrections.
          > >
          > > I use BGT's standard format for edits: EDIT (all caps) is a
          > required change; Edit (initial cap) a suggested change or request
          > for clarification; and Comment is just that, with no change required.
          > >
          > >
          > > <<BIG AGNES -- KING SOLOMON 15 DEGREE "DOUBLEWIDE" SLEEPING BAG
          > > [Title] By Katy Welter>>
          > > EDIT: Move the date to just under your name, and delete it from
          > your personal details. This is the standard BGT format.
          > >
          > > <<Height: 5' 7" (170 centimeters)
          > > Weight: 135 lbs (61 kg)>>
          > > EDIT: BGT's conventions for measurements are listed just below the
          > conversion table on the website. Always singular, so "lb" not "lbs"
          > > Edit: I recommend "cm" instead of "centimeters." I also recommend
          > using "ft" and "in" rather than the apostrophe and quotation marks.
          > That's required everywhere except personal height so it's a good
          > habit to get into.
          > >
          > > <<City, State, Country: Chicago, IL USA>>
          > > EDIT: Illinois. Our non-US readers may not know the USPS
          abbreviations.
          > >
          > > <<Backpacking Background:>>
          > > EDIT: What you've included is fine, but you need to add something
          > about your backpacking style, such as typical pack weight, shelter
          > type, and the like. Check out some other ORs for examples. What you
          > have below about being lightweight except for the King Solomon is a
          > good way to start; move it up to here.
          > >
          > > <<I became an enthusiastic backcountry backpacker after taking a
          70-day
          > > Rocky Mountain NOLS course in 2007.>>
          > > EDIT: Again for our non-US readers you should use National Outdoor
          > Leadership School.
          > >
          > > <<Our heights:
          > > 5' 6" (1.68 m)
          > > 5' 10" (1.78 m)>>
          > > Edit/Comment: Good for you for including these. Consider adding a
          > sentence or two about how you sleep: hot, cold, or intermediate.
          > >
          > > << WR surface treatment to repel water [two places]
          > > EDIT: Either delete "WR" or delete "to repel water" and spell out
          > "Water repellant" at the beginning. [Redundant]
          > >
          > > <<Specifications per Big Agnes website:>>
          > > EDIT: You should include your own measurements as well
          > > EDIT: Here we require "in" instead of the quotation mark.
          > >
          > > <<There's even a draft "flap" that fills the space between two
          > people's heads, which you can pack away handily in a little velcro
          pocket.>>
          > > EDIT: Velcro is a trademark, and its owner guards it jealously.
          > Unless Big Agnes specifies Velcro (with a capital V) you must
          > substitute "hook-and-loop."
          > > EDIT: We don't allow projection ? reporting on what someone else
          > might experience or what you might experience in conditions you
          > haven't yet encountered. Accordingly, any use of the second person
          > (you or your) is suspect. This instance is borderline, but others in
          > your Review are clearly projection. Change to "I can pack away." In
          > revising your Review, try to eliminate any reference to anyone other
          > than your bag's users ? you and your husband. I'm not going to flag
          > each such use, but I shall on the next iteration.
          > >
          > > << no insulation, and two slots for holding standard 20" width
          sleeping
          > > pads.>>
          > > EDIT: in for inches, and everywhere in your Review that you
          > identify a measurement or temperature you must provide the
          > appropriate conversion. Again, I'm not going to flag them all, look
          > for them and add the appropriate conversions.
          > >
          > > << You don't need Big Agnes brand pads: we use an REI and
          > > Thermarest brand 3/4 length pads.>>
          > > EDIT: Another brand, which requires it be used exactly as its
          > manufacturer does: Therm-a-Rest.
          > >
          > > <<you'll need at least a 70L backpack (or a wide 60-65L pack) to
          > stuff it into. >>
          > > EDIT: Replace the "you;" this is a clear example of projection.
          > > EDIT: BGT convention requires a space between the number and the
          > unit of measurement: 70 L and 60-65 L. And you need the cubic inch
          > equivalents in parentheses.
          > >
          > > << We'd had great success with Big Agnes tents, so we decided to
          > give the King Solomon ("KS" from here) a try.>>
          > > Edit: Another, easier-to-follow, abbreviation would read better;
          > consider "the bag" or "the King."
          > >
          > > <<We slept in the KS in temperatures ranging from 0 degrees and 30 mph
          > > wind at 17,000 feet in Nepal in a drafty teahouse on a wood bed to 85
          > > degrees>>
          > > EDIT: Another BGT convention: no "degrees" or degree symbol. Here
          > and elsewhere in your Review. Here it should be 0 F (-17 C) and 85 F
          (29 C).
          > >
          > > <<We often wished we had a 30-degree version of the pack because
          > we were so warm>>
          > > EDIT: I think you mean "version of the bag."
          > > Comment: "degree" is OK here
          > >
          > > <<but there are no lighter doublewides, to my knowledge). >>
          > > Edit/Comment: Be careful with observations such as this. Though
          > it's accurate, since its to your knowledge, it can be misleading if
          > in fact several other manufacturers do offer lighter weight doubles.
          > Check out Nunatak, for example. Just a warning; no need for a change.
          > >
          > > <<Considering we only carry one bag, its a very reasonable weight
          > (not ultralight, but it's worth the snuggle ).>>
          > > EDIT: it's a very reasonable weight
          > > Edit: "but the snuggle is worth any marginal extra weight" would
          > be more accurate
          > > Comment: I think it's worth it too.
          > >
          > > <<The only difficulty with the KS is compression it.>>
          > > EDIT: "is compression" or "is compressing it"
          > >
          > > <<If you're looking for a bag to share with your partner, the Big
          Agnes
          > > King Solomon is one of the only backpacker friendly bags on the
          > > market.>>
          > > EDIT: Get rid of that "you."
          > > Edit: backpacker-friendly [with a hyphen]
          > > Edit: "one of the few" reads better
          > >
          > > General Edit: Have you cleaned the bag? If so, you should describe
          > how frequently you've done so and the process used. Check out some
          > other Reviews for examples.
          > >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > ------------------------------------
          >
          > To read our reviews, please visit http://www.backpackgeartest.org/Yahoo!
          > Groups Links
          >
          >
          >


          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • katywelter
          Hi Richard, Thank you very much for your edits. I have made the suggested and required changes, and am ready to post my latest version. However, I m a little
          Message 4 of 9 , Apr 12, 2010
          • 0 Attachment
            Hi Richard,

            Thank you very much for your edits. I have made the suggested and required changes, and am ready to post my latest version. However, I'm a little confused about when to post an html version. The instructions for becoming a reviewer indicate that I should wait until my review has been finalized (ie, after multiple edits). It also says that you will create a folder for my review. http://www.backpackgeartest.org/lesson.php?lesson=BecomeTester&page=8 But I understand your message to indicate that I should upload an html format review now. Could you please clarify my next steps?

            Thank you,

            Katy

            --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "richardglyon" <montana.angler@...> wrote:
            >
            > Hello, Katy, and welcome to BackpackGearTest.org. I've been assigned to edit your Owner Review on the King Solomon. Before I can do so, however, you must post an html copy of your Review in the Tests/Owner Reviews folder on the BackpackGearTest.org site, and include a link to that posting (in tinyurl format) to this list. Please do so when you repost your revised Review, and post the plain text version to this list, with REPOST-OR- Big Agnes King Solomon Sleeping Bag, and your name in the subject line.
            >
            > One further general comment: we strongly encourage photographs in every review, and they are required in every review (and every Test Series) after your first OR. Especially with an unusual piece of gear like a sleeping bag for two, photos can really help our readers.
            >
            > This is a very good first cut at an Owner Review, despite the fact that you've selected a relatively complex piece of equipment. Given that, I'm going to proceed with my edits, so that when you upload to the Tests/OR folder you'll have made the first round of corrections.
            >
            > I use BGT's standard format for edits: EDIT (all caps) is a required change; Edit (initial cap) a suggested change or request for clarification; and Comment is just that, with no change required.
            >
            >
            > <<BIG AGNES -- KING SOLOMON 15 DEGREE "DOUBLEWIDE" SLEEPING BAG
            > [Title] By Katy Welter>>
            > EDIT: Move the date to just under your name, and delete it from your personal details. This is the standard BGT format.
            >
            > <<Height: 5' 7" (170 centimeters)
            > Weight: 135 lbs (61 kg)>>
            > EDIT: BGT's conventions for measurements are listed just below the conversion table on the website. Always singular, so "lb" not "lbs"
            > Edit: I recommend "cm" instead of "centimeters." I also recommend using "ft" and "in" rather than the apostrophe and quotation marks. That's required everywhere except personal height so it's a good habit to get into.
            >
            > <<City, State, Country: Chicago, IL USA>>
            > EDIT: Illinois. Our non-US readers may not know the USPS abbreviations.
            >
            > <<Backpacking Background:>>
            > EDIT: What you've included is fine, but you need to add something about your backpacking style, such as typical pack weight, shelter type, and the like. Check out some other ORs for examples. What you have below about being lightweight except for the King Solomon is a good way to start; move it up to here.
            >
            > <<I became an enthusiastic backcountry backpacker after taking a 70-day
            > Rocky Mountain NOLS course in 2007.>>
            > EDIT: Again for our non-US readers you should use National Outdoor Leadership School.
            >
            > <<Our heights:
            > 5' 6" (1.68 m)
            > 5' 10" (1.78 m)>>
            > Edit/Comment: Good for you for including these. Consider adding a sentence or two about how you sleep: hot, cold, or intermediate.
            >
            > << WR surface treatment to repel water [two places]
            > EDIT: Either delete "WR" or delete "to repel water" and spell out "Water repellant" at the beginning. [Redundant]
            >
            > <<Specifications per Big Agnes website:>>
            > EDIT: You should include your own measurements as well
            > EDIT: Here we require "in" instead of the quotation mark.
            >
            > <<There's even a draft "flap" that fills the space between two people's heads, which you can pack away handily in a little velcro pocket.>>
            > EDIT: Velcro is a trademark, and its owner guards it jealously. Unless Big Agnes specifies Velcro (with a capital V) you must substitute "hook-and-loop."
            > EDIT: We don't allow projection – reporting on what someone else might experience or what you might experience in conditions you haven't yet encountered. Accordingly, any use of the second person (you or your) is suspect. This instance is borderline, but others in your Review are clearly projection. Change to "I can pack away." In revising your Review, try to eliminate any reference to anyone other than your bag's users – you and your husband. I'm not going to flag each such use, but I shall on the next iteration.
            >
            > << no insulation, and two slots for holding standard 20" width sleeping
            > pads.>>
            > EDIT: in for inches, and everywhere in your Review that you identify a measurement or temperature you must provide the appropriate conversion. Again, I'm not going to flag them all, look for them and add the appropriate conversions.
            >
            > << You don't need Big Agnes brand pads: we use an REI and
            > Thermarest brand 3/4 length pads.>>
            > EDIT: Another brand, which requires it be used exactly as its manufacturer does: Therm-a-Rest.
            >
            > <<you'll need at least a 70L backpack (or a wide 60-65L pack) to stuff it into. >>
            > EDIT: Replace the "you;" this is a clear example of projection.
            > EDIT: BGT convention requires a space between the number and the unit of measurement: 70 L and 60-65 L. And you need the cubic inch equivalents in parentheses.
            >
            > << We'd had great success with Big Agnes tents, so we decided to give the King Solomon ("KS" from here) a try.>>
            > Edit: Another, easier-to-follow, abbreviation would read better; consider "the bag" or "the King."
            >
            > <<We slept in the KS in temperatures ranging from 0 degrees and 30 mph
            > wind at 17,000 feet in Nepal in a drafty teahouse on a wood bed to 85
            > degrees>>
            > EDIT: Another BGT convention: no "degrees" or degree symbol. Here and elsewhere in your Review. Here it should be 0 F (-17 C) and 85 F (29 C).
            >
            > <<We often wished we had a 30-degree version of the pack because we were so warm>>
            > EDIT: I think you mean "version of the bag."
            > Comment: "degree" is OK here
            >
            > <<but there are no lighter doublewides, to my knowledge). >>
            > Edit/Comment: Be careful with observations such as this. Though it's accurate, since its to your knowledge, it can be misleading if in fact several other manufacturers do offer lighter weight doubles. Check out Nunatak, for example. Just a warning; no need for a change.
            >
            > <<Considering we only carry one bag, its a very reasonable weight (not ultralight, but it's worth the snuggle ).>>
            > EDIT: it's a very reasonable weight
            > Edit: "but the snuggle is worth any marginal extra weight" would be more accurate
            > Comment: I think it's worth it too.
            >
            > <<The only difficulty with the KS is compression it.>>
            > EDIT: "is compression" or "is compressing it"
            >
            > <<If you're looking for a bag to share with your partner, the Big Agnes
            > King Solomon is one of the only backpacker friendly bags on the
            > market.>>
            > EDIT: Get rid of that "you."
            > Edit: backpacker-friendly [with a hyphen]
            > Edit: "one of the few" reads better
            >
            > General Edit: Have you cleaned the bag? If so, you should describe how frequently you've done so and the process used. Check out some other Reviews for examples.
            >
          • richardglyon
            Well done, Katy! This is nearly ready to go, though as you say you need to fix some Yahoo-isms in the html version. A few edits below, in the same format as
            Message 5 of 9 , Apr 13, 2010
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              Well done, Katy! This is nearly ready to go, though as you say you need to fix some "Yahoo-isms" in the html version. A few edits below, in the same format as before. After revising please repost again, with REPOST, the product name, and your name in the subject line, and a link to the html version in the Tests folder. Ordinarily I'd approve this for upload now, but I want to see the revised html before doing so. I also encourage your adding photographs, which would really enhance an already excellent report. If you need technical help on including pictures, you may post inquiries to the BGT Web list.
              Cheers, Richard

              <<Date: April 12, 2010>>
              Comment: This is fine; for future reference, you could also have used the date of your initial posting.

              <<Backpacking Background>>
              Edit/Comment: This is now 106 words, slightly over our 100-word guideline. Especially since six new words came from my request to write out NOLS, I have no problem with it as is – but some of our other editors are a bit more strict. Just a heads-up.

              << My husband and I typically do 3-5 day hikes, but have completed several larger trekking>>
              EDIT: several longer treks

              <<We both prefer cold sleeping weather ( we crack a window in our bedroom during Chicago winters!).>>
              EDIT: Delete the space after the opening parenthesis (before "we")

              <<WR surface treatment to repel water>>
              EDIT: Still redundant, as "WR" stands for "water resistant." Delete "to repel water."

              <<Length from toe to shoulder (head opening): 66 in (167.6 cm)>>
              Edit: I'd round off to 168 cm.

              <<Width at narrowest point (foot box, which square, not "mummy" shaped)>>
              EDIT: which is square

              Since the King Solomon packing into a large mass (and even that, with
              some effort),>>
              EDIT: packs into a large mass

              << we found that we need at least a 70 Liter (4270 cu in) >>
              Edit: No need to capitalize Liter.

              <<We slept in the King in temperatures ranging from 0 F (-17 C) and 30
              mph wind at 17,000 feet in Nepal>>
              EDIT: Two conversions needed, for km/hr and meters.

              <<That has proved very effective: the King looking great and has no unpleasant smell. >>
              EDIT: Need to agree your verbs after the colon: looking/having or looks/has

              << The no insulation on the back doesn't seem to impair warmth at
              all,>>
              Edit: Consider deleting "The:" No insulation on the back . . .

              << It's more like a down comforter hiding in a backpacker-style bag.>>
              Comment: Very apt description!

              << After over 150 nights of use, the King shows no signs of wear or warmth,>>
              EDIT: This is confusing. "no signs of wear or loss of warmth"?
            • richardglyon
              Well done, Katy! This is nearly ready to go, though as you say you need to fix some Yahoo-isms in the html version. A few edits below, in the same format as
              Message 6 of 9 , Apr 13, 2010
              • 0 Attachment
                Well done, Katy! This is nearly ready to go, though as you say you need to fix some "Yahoo-isms" in the html version. A few edits below, in the same format as before. After revising please repost again, with REPOST, the product name, and your name in the subject line, and a link to the html version in the Tests folder. Ordinarily I'd approve this for upload now, but I want to see the revised html before doing so. I also encourage your adding photographs, which would really enhance an already excellent report. If you need technical help on including pictures, you may post inquiries to the BGT Web list.
                Cheers, Richard

                <<Date: April 12, 2010>>
                Comment: This is fine; for future reference, you could also have used the date of your initial posting.

                <<Backpacking Background>>
                Edit/Comment: This is now 106 words, slightly over our 100-word guideline. Especially since six new words came from my request to write out NOLS, I have no problem with it as is – but some of our other editors are a bit more strict. Just a heads-up.

                << My husband and I typically do 3-5 day hikes, but have completed several larger trekking>>
                EDIT: several longer treks

                <<We both prefer cold sleeping weather ( we crack a window in our bedroom during Chicago winters!).>>
                EDIT: Delete the space after the opening parenthesis (before "we")

                <<WR surface treatment to repel water>>
                EDIT: Still redundant, as "WR" stands for "water resistant." Delete "to repel water."

                <<Length from toe to shoulder (head opening): 66 in (167.6 cm)>>
                Edit: I'd round off to 168 cm.
                <<Width at narrowest point (foot box, which square, not "mummy" shaped)>>
                EDIT: which is square

                Since the King Solomon packing into a large mass (and even that, with
                some effort),>>
                EDIT: packs into a large mass

                << we found that we need at least a 70 Liter (4270 cu in) >>
                Edit: No need to capitalize Liter.

                <<We slept in the King in temperatures ranging from 0 F (-17 C) and 30
                mph wind at 17,000 feet in Nepal>>
                EDIT: Two conversions needed, for km/hr and meters.

                <<That has proved very effective: the King looking great and has no unpleasant smell. >>
                EDIT: Need to agree your verbs after the colon: looking/having or looks/has

                << The no insulation on the back doesn't seem to impair warmth at
                all,>>
                Edit: Consider deleting "The:" No insulation on the back . . .

                << It's more like a down comforter hiding in a backpacker-style bag.>>
                Comment: Very apt description!

                << After over 150 nights of use, the King shows no signs of wear or warmth,>>
                EDIT: This is confusing. "no signs of wear or loss of warmth"?
              • katywelter
                Thanks for these edits, Richard. I m using a mac and really struggling to get the html to upload without errors (it looks fine when I open it in my browser,
                Message 7 of 9 , Apr 14, 2010
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                  Thanks for these edits, Richard.

                  I'm using a mac and really struggling to get the html to upload without errors (it looks fine when I open it in my browser, but then it's corrupted when I upload it). I also took photos and am having trouble uploading those. Anyway, I'm going to keep working on it (using the BGT help group) but I wanted to let you know because I might not post the latest edit and perfect html upload until the end of the week.

                  Katy

                  --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "richardglyon" <montana.angler@...> wrote:
                  >
                  > Well done, Katy! This is nearly ready to go, though as you say you need to fix some "Yahoo-isms" in the html version. A few edits below, in the same format as before. After revising please repost again, with REPOST, the product name, and your name in the subject line, and a link to the html version in the Tests folder. Ordinarily I'd approve this for upload now, but I want to see the revised html before doing so. I also encourage your adding photographs, which would really enhance an already excellent report. If you need technical help on including pictures, you may post inquiries to the BGT Web list.
                  > Cheers, Richard
                  >
                  > <<Date: April 12, 2010>>
                  > Comment: This is fine; for future reference, you could also have used the date of your initial posting.
                  >
                  > <<Backpacking Background>>
                  > Edit/Comment: This is now 106 words, slightly over our 100-word guideline. Especially since six new words came from my request to write out NOLS, I have no problem with it as is – but some of our other editors are a bit more strict. Just a heads-up.
                  >
                  > << My husband and I typically do 3-5 day hikes, but have completed several larger trekking>>
                  > EDIT: several longer treks
                  >
                  > <<We both prefer cold sleeping weather ( we crack a window in our bedroom during Chicago winters!).>>
                  > EDIT: Delete the space after the opening parenthesis (before "we")
                  >
                  > <<WR surface treatment to repel water>>
                  > EDIT: Still redundant, as "WR" stands for "water resistant." Delete "to repel water."
                  >
                  > <<Length from toe to shoulder (head opening): 66 in (167.6 cm)>>
                  > Edit: I'd round off to 168 cm.
                  > <<Width at narrowest point (foot box, which square, not "mummy" shaped)>>
                  > EDIT: which is square
                  >
                  > Since the King Solomon packing into a large mass (and even that, with
                  > some effort),>>
                  > EDIT: packs into a large mass
                  >
                  > << we found that we need at least a 70 Liter (4270 cu in) >>
                  > Edit: No need to capitalize Liter.
                  >
                  > <<We slept in the King in temperatures ranging from 0 F (-17 C) and 30
                  > mph wind at 17,000 feet in Nepal>>
                  > EDIT: Two conversions needed, for km/hr and meters.
                  >
                  > <<That has proved very effective: the King looking great and has no unpleasant smell. >>
                  > EDIT: Need to agree your verbs after the colon: looking/having or looks/has
                  >
                  > << The no insulation on the back doesn't seem to impair warmth at
                  > all,>>
                  > Edit: Consider deleting "The:" No insulation on the back . . .
                  >
                  > << It's more like a down comforter hiding in a backpacker-style bag.>>
                  > Comment: Very apt description!
                  >
                  > << After over 150 nights of use, the King shows no signs of wear or warmth,>>
                  > EDIT: This is confusing. "no signs of wear or loss of warmth"?
                  >
                • richardglyon
                  Katy, I m definitely not the guy for tech help, but what are you using to upload your report? I am now using a Mac, and any Word (Mac version) upload includes
                  Message 8 of 9 , Apr 14, 2010
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                    Katy,

                    I'm definitely not the guy for tech help, but what are you using to upload your report? I am now using a Mac, and any Word (Mac version) upload includes the same type of errors that appear in your Tests/OR folder copy. Have you tried Kompozer? I've found that it really helps with my html products. Not always intuitive, but not too bad.

                    Good luck, Richard

                    --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "katywelter" <katywelter@...> wrote:
                    >
                    > Thanks for these edits, Richard.
                    >
                    > I'm using a mac and really struggling to get the html to upload without errors (it looks fine when I open it in my browser, but then it's corrupted when I upload it). I also took photos and am having trouble uploading those. Anyway, I'm going to keep working on it (using the BGT help group) but I wanted to let you know because I might not post the latest edit and perfect html upload until the end of the week.
                    >
                    > Katy
                    >

                    > >
                    >
                  • jetriple@rockwellcollins.com
                    Katy - I m not the guy for Mac help (can t even find the power switch on most of them!) but I ve used Kompozer (on a PC) and loved it. Unfortunately, my IT
                    Message 9 of 9 , Apr 15, 2010
                    • 0 Attachment
                      Katy - I'm not the guy for Mac help (can't even find the power switch on
                      most of them!) but I've used Kompozer (on a PC) and loved it.
                      Unfortunately, my IT department at work stopped supporting Netscape (which
                      it is based on) so every time I installed it they removed it. Fortunately,
                      there is another similar program called NVU which is just as easy to use.
                      Both are free.

                      Kompozer
                      http://www.kompozer.net/download.php
                      (Looks like you'll need an older version (scroll to the bottom of the
                      page) for a Mac.)

                      NVU
                      http://net2.com/nvu/

                      Jet

                      BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com wrote on 04/14/2010 10:13:17 PM:

                      > Katy,
                      >
                      > I'm definitely not the guy for tech help, but what are you using to
                      > upload your report? I am now using a Mac, and any Word (Mac version)
                      > upload includes the same type of errors that appear in your Tests/OR
                      > folder copy. Have you tried Kompozer? I've found that it really
                      > helps with my html products. Not always intuitive, but not too bad.
                      >
                      > Good luck, Richard
                      >
                      > --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "katywelter" <katywelter@...>
                      wrote:
                      > >
                      > > Thanks for these edits, Richard.
                      > >
                      > > I'm using a mac and really struggling to get the html to upload
                      > without errors (it looks fine when I open it in my browser, but then
                      > it's corrupted when I upload it). I also took photos and am having
                      > trouble uploading those. Anyway, I'm going to keep working on it
                      > (using the BGT help group) but I wanted to let you know because I
                      > might not post the latest edit and perfect html upload until the end
                      > of the week.
                      > >
                      > > Katy
                      > >
                      >


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