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EDIT/Approval - Marmot Super Hero Jacket - Anson Moxness

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  • richardglyon
    Hi Anson, here are your edits, in the standard BGT format: EDIT is a required change, Edit a suggested change or request for clarification, and Comment a
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 14, 2010
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      Hi Anson, here are your edits, in the standard BGT format: EDIT is a required change, Edit a suggested change or request for clarification, and Comment a comment, with no change required. When you have revised, you may upload at http://tinyurl.com/yfyon32

      Good report! Cheers, Richard

      <<Model: Men's Superhero Jacket (Women's Available)>>
      EDIT: Super Hero [Two words, as you have in the title. That's the way the manufacturer spells it.]

      <<Location: Hanover, NH/Anchorage, AK>>
      EDIT: You need to spell out the states' names for the benefit of our non-US readers.

      <<I grew up in Anchorage, Alaska, scaling the peaks of the Chugach Mountains and am currently running around the backwoods of northern New England.>>
      EDIT: Add a comma after "Chugach Mountains"

      << I prefer to carry a lightweight load, but I'm not going to be counting ounces anytime soon. I am willing to sacrifice a few ounces for durability's sake. >>
      Edit: No requirement for conversion, as you aren't measuring anything, but consider replacing "ounces" with "grams" in one of the sentences, again for our non-US readers.

      <<Measured Weight: 27 oz (765 g)>>
      Edit: I'd add "(size Medium)" here. Also consider listing the sizes in which the jacket is available.

      <<Warrantee: Lifetime Guarantee>>
      Edit: Usual spelling is "Warranty."

      << The hood and waist belt are have synchcords and the cuffs are
      adjustable with hook and loop attachment.>>
      EDIT: Delete "are" after "belt."
      Edit: Consider "drawcords" instead of "synchcords."
      Edit: hook-and-loop [with hyphens]

      <<This is my first real soft shell jacket in my closet and I feel like I have no
      reason to get another.>>
      Edit: Use of "my" twice is redundant; consider replacing the first one with "the."

      <<however I got a large in this jacket as it is cut tightly and I wanted a bit more flexibility>>
      EDIT: cut tight ["Tight" is an adjective modifying "jacket," not an adverb modifying "cut." I doubt anyone but Marmot knows exactly how the jacket was cut.]

      << The most showing test of this jacket was a ski descent of Mt. Katahdin. >>
      EDIT: "showing" is the wrong adjective here. "most serious test;" `stoutest test;" `'most telling test;" "toughest test." Please revise.
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