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EDIT: Owner Review - T-MOS ONE CUP COFFEE CADDY -Walter

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  • Ray
    Hello Walter, Nice job on your first Owner Review, your initial edits will follow. They will take the following format; EDIT: must be changed Edit: should be
    Message 1 of 4 , Jan 9, 2010
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      Hello Walter,

      Nice job on your first Owner Review, your initial edits will follow. They will take the following format;

      EDIT: must be changed
      Edit: should be changed but will be left to your discretion
      Comment: just that or something to think about

      When you have made the changes please repost here with REPOST added to the subject line. Include your name also please. Since you included the HTML I am editing from it so you can place a corrected version there too.

      Some very helpful information may be found here;
      http://www.backpackgeartest.org/lesson.php?lesson=BecomeTester&page=1

      Please notice the form that the review should take in the "Examples", you may also wish to browse the reviews of other experienced members for examples of the proper form.

      A helpful tool is the Mentoring Program that teams new reviewers with experienced veterans to help get them through their first review(s). If you'd like more assistance or guidance with the process you can request a mentor by sending an email to the mentor coordinator, Jenn, at mentor@...

      Ray




      ***TORSO 34 In – 84 CM

      EDIT: the abbreviations should be as so: 34 in / 84 cm (no caps) and use either a comma, a /, or () for the metric as a hyphen means "between" when placed between two numbers



      ***I started backpacking about twenty years ago.

      EDIT: we have a 100 word limit on the bios. Can you please trim yours down a bit?



      ***MSRP: US$ 4:50

      EDIT: if the MSRP is not on the manufacturer's website we just mark this as N/A



      ***Listed Weight: 1.75 ounces (50 g)
      Actual Weight: 1.756 ounces (50 g)
      Listed Dimensions 4.5 x 4 inches (11.43 cm)

      Comment: where are you getting the listed info from? Also please round the numbers off to the first decimal point.



      *** It was late fall and the wind was howling. The coffee was great, the conversation was stimulating, the skies were blue and life was good

      Comment: I like your hiking attitude Walter.



      ***The filter disassembles easily to enable you to remove the used coffee grinds by tapping the filter against a tree and rinsing it.

      EDIT: We keep everything in the first person, no "you"s, just "me" and "I". Here is my canned explanation.

      Projection

      "When you tighten the laces on the boots, you pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then you tie it with a double knot and you are ready to go down the trail."

      This is a very common way to write, but in doing so we just said what "other people" would do, not our self. This is projecting our thoughts onto the reader. We do not know how other people tie their shoes. We keep away from "you" and "your" in our writing.

      We are writing a review of "our" gear based on "our" experiences. So we need to keep it in the first person. Here is how it should look;

      "When I tighten the laces on the boots, I pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then I tie it with a double knot and I'm ready to go down the trail."




      ***I can understand that people might find the coffee maker slightly bulky but I used an old nalgene bottle to serve as protection, holder for my coffee and the coffee maker.


      The Coffee Caddy inside a nalgene container

      EDIT: Nalgene (proper noun)
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