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EDIT - Marmot Men's Ion Windshirt - Chris Barchet

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  • richardglyon
    Hi Chris, and welcome to BackpackGearTest.org. This is an excellent start at your first Owner Review. Ray has mentored you well. Many of my edits are simply
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 24, 2009
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      Hi Chris, and welcome to BackpackGearTest.org. This is an excellent start at your first Owner Review. Ray has mentored you well. Many of my edits are simply to conform the text to some BGT conventions. I use the standard format for edits:

      EDIT (all caps): Required change.
      Edit (initial cap): Either a suggested change or something that I think should be reworked for clarity. Usually up to you.
      Comment: A comment only, with no change required.

      After revising, please repost the plain text to this list, with "Repost," the product name, and your name in the subject line, and repost the html version to the Tests/Owner Reviews folder. Include a tinyurl link to the Tests/OR file in your plain text post. Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving, Richard

      <<MARMOT ION WINDSHIRT>>
      EDIT: As this is a gender-specific product, it should be "Marmot Men's Ion Windshirt"

      <<November 06, 2009>>
      EDIT: This should be the date you first post the OR to the list – November 17.

      <<LOCATION: Seattle>>
      EDIT: Seattle, Washington, USA [State and country required, as we have non-US testers and readers who may not know where Seattle is.]

      << HEIGHT: 6' 2" (1.88 m)
      WEIGHT: 175 lb (79.40 kg)>>
      EDIT: Given your commentary about fit in your Review, please add your sleeve and torso lengths here. You should include specific measurements that are particularly pertinent to the gear being reviewed: shoe size for boots, torso for a pack, hat size for a hat, and so on.

      <<I began hiking in the mid 80's. I was only 14 when I completed my first 50 miler (80 km).>>
      Edit: 50-miler [with a hyphen]

      << I usually log several hundred miles per year including day hikes, backpacking trips, snowshoe trips and ski tours.>>
      EDIT: miles/kilometers
      Edit: Your bio is satisfactory as it is, but consider adding something about your customary shelter (tent, bivy, SUL, whatever. You have fifteen words to play with and this is often helpful information.

      <<Manufacturer: Marmot Mountain>>
      EDIT: We require the full, legal name of the manufacturer here: Marmot Mountain, LLC

      <<Web site: Marmot Mountain>>
      EDIT: Spell out the website: www.marmot.com

      <<Product: Ion Windshirt>>
      EDIT: Men's Ion Windshirt
      Edit: You could add that Marmot also sells a Women's Ion.

      <<The Marmot Ion Windshirt is a lightweight jacket made from breathable, water resistant and wind resistant polyester fabric.>>
      Edit: water-resistant and wind-resistant [each with a hyphen]

      <<The Ion Windshirt has a full length zipper in the front and small zippered chest pocket.>>
      Edit: full-length [with a hyphen]

      <<The chest pocket is equipped with a double pull zipper so it works as a stuff sack.>>
      Edit: double-pull [with a hyphen]

      <<Temp range - 10 deg. F (-12 deg. C) to 90 deg. F (32 deg. C)>>
      EDIT: When reporting temperatures we don't use "degrees" or any abbreviation or symbol for degrees. "10 F (-12 C) to 90 F (32 C)"

      << Wind - 0 to 50 mph>>
      EDIT: Need the metric conversion

      <<During aerobic activity I only need this jacket and a thin fleece to be comfortable in a range of cool conditions including, moderate wind, light rain and snow.>>
      Edit: "cool conditions" is a bit general. Consider providing a temperature range.

      <<The trade off is durability. I am seeing some wear in the chest pocket where I keep hard sided items like a compass.>>
      Edit: trade-off [with a hyphen]
      Edit: hard-sided [with a hyphen]

      <<The fit seems good. The sleeves are long enough to allow free movement but not too long that they get in the way. The elastic keeps them on the wrist where they belong. The cut under the arms also allows free movement of the shoulders. The lower hem sits only a few inches below my waist but it has never felt too short.>>
      Edit: You've worn this jacket for more than a year, long enough to have a firm opinion. I'd change "seems" to "is."
      Edit/Comment: The rest of this is fine, but illustrates why jacket-specific information should be included in your bio.

      <<The only negative is the lack of waterproofing.>>
      EDIT: water repellency ["Waterproof," "water-repellant," and "water resistant" have technical meanings when applied to fabrics. Marmot only advertises the Ion as "water repellant," so you shouldn't expect a waterproof garment.

      <<The DWR seems to have worn off quickly and attempts to recoat the jacket have been minimally successful.>>
      Edit: Consider adding some commentary on what you did to try to restore repellency. Did you use a spray? Clean it and then iron?

      <<It works to balance the variety of body temperatures and environmental conditions that are often encountered.>>
      Edit: Active voice reads better than passive. Try "that I have encountered."
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