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Zachary Huang Please Read - Re: Owner review/ Mountain Hardwear Lamina 45

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  • chcoa
    PLEASE READ THIS EMAIL IN FULL. IT IS MOST IMPORTANT! Thanks for your Owner s Review. It has been added to the Owner Review Queue and will be picked up by an
    Message 1 of 4 , Nov 7, 2009
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      PLEASE READ THIS EMAIL IN FULL. IT IS MOST IMPORTANT!

      Thanks for your Owner's Review. It has been added to the Owner Review Queue and will be picked up by an Edit Moderator soon. If you are new to BackpackGearTest.org, welcome to the community! The Editors will work with you, within their own time constraints, to get your first two Owner Reviews approved and upload in a timely manner. Do not worry if nothing happens with it for several days. All our Editors are volunteers and your report will be subject to an official edit within fourteen days. If you have not had a response from an Edit Moderator via the Yahoo Groups list within this timeframe, please let me know directly at jdeben(at)hotmail.com

      To assist in this process, if this is your first Owner Review we ask that you post only ONE Owner Review for edit at a time. Our experience is that it is more efficient for both the Editors and
      yourself, if you post your first review, have it edited, approved and uploaded before you post your second and subsequent reviews.

      Once your first two Owner Reviews have been approved and you have submitted your Tester Agreement you will be eligible to start applying for Tests. If you'd like more assistance or guidance with the process you can request a mentor by sending an email to Jenn K., the mentor coordinator, at mentor (at) backpackgeartest.org.

      You may receive edits or comments from other members of the group. These edits and comments, while not official, should be considered carefully, and if you find them substantial, revise and re-post your review. Incorporating member edits and re-submitting to the list
      will usually result in a better review, as well as making things easier for the official Editor. Please put REVISED in the subject line of your re-submitted review if you take this route or make any
      changes to your review BEFORE the review has been taken by an Edit Moderator.

      Additionally, it is important for you to monitor the Yahoo Groups list to keep track of the progress of your Owner Review. Once an Editor has taken your OR and made the necessary edits they will post their comments to the list with EDIT in the subject line. Once you have incorporated these edits into your review please use REPOST in the subject line. When your OR has been approved by the Editor they will use APPROVED in the subject line.

      If you'd like to keep track of the progress of your OR while it's in the edit queue, the entire Owner Review Queue is posted to this yahoo group list on either Thursdays or Fridays.

      If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to ask via the list or contact me directly.

      Regards
      Jamie DeBenedetto
      Edit Administration Manager
    • themiddlesister1951
      I have been assigned to edit your Owner s Review. This appears to be your very first review, so I tried to go easy on you! ;) Writing for BGT takes practice
      Message 2 of 4 , Nov 8, 2009
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        I have been assigned to edit your Owner's Review. This appears to be your
        very first review, so I tried to go easy on you! ;) Writing for BGT takes
        practice and you needn't be discouraged by the editing process. If it seems
        "greek" to you, you might want to check in with the BGT mentoring program
        where eager volunteers will help you master the process of writing ORs,
        applying for tests and writing test reports. It's a great
        program and I really think it would be helpful for you to contact
        Jenn K at mentor@... before proceeding.

        Since this is your first review (a very good start) and there are more than a couple edits, I
        would like you to REPOST your OR to the list when you have made the edits.
        When you repost, make sure that you have in the subject line "REPOST: Owner
        Review – Product Name – Your Name". Your name always
        needs to be in the subject line for reviews, reports, edits, etc.

        Also, after the corrections, you need to upload your HTML file to the Owner
        Review test folder so I can check out your HTML. When you repost, you must
        put a link in the e-mail to that file location so I can view the uploaded
        file. Actually, the HTML file must always be uploaded to the OR Test folder and the URL of that file must be posted in your email text posting to the list.

        At that time, I'll check out the HTML and, if all is OK, give you the go ahead to upload. Please remember to use "REPOST" when you report the plain text of your corrected OR to the list.

        My list of edits follows. Let me know if you don't understand anything I've
        written.

        Conventionally the following terms are used in the editing process:
        *** EDIT: you must fix this to comply with BackpackGearTest standards
        [because the Editor says so!]
        *** Edit: you should seriously consider fixing this in some way [unless you
        seriously object with good reason]
        *** Comment: usually just that, although you might want to make a change of
        some sort as a result.

        Kathy Waters
        BGT Owner Review Editor
        ______________________________________________________________________

        5'10" (178cm)
        EDIT: Spacing need to be inserted between all numerals and their written abbreviations for measurements. There needs to be a space also between the feet and inches measurements. Spaces are NOT needed between the numerals and the symbols for feet and inches. So this should read – "5' 10" (178 cm)".

        Background:

        Typical pack weight: 35-45 lbs (16-21 kg)
        Pack style: Light-medium weight
        Types of travel: Extended trips abroad, 3-5 day hikes
        Shelter type: 3 season 2 man tent
        Special Activities: Black and White Film Photography

        Backpacking background: I began backpacking and hiking 4 years ago starting with
        overnighters and weekend trips. I progressively moved on to weeklong trips and
        months abroad in foreign countries. I travel mostly in temperate climates and
        pack as light as possible. I currently attend school on the east coast of the US
        so I've encountered various terrains in all seasons.
        COMMENT: I like how you did the background. Very nice and concise! Just one suggestion and that would be to put the work "Backpacking" before your header "Background" and delete the phrase "Backpacking background" in the beginning of the paragraph. I think it would read better, but it is your choice.

        Lamina 45 – msrp (Reg) $120.00
        Manufacturer: Mountain Hardwear
        Year of Manufacturer: 2008
        www.mountainhardwear.com
        EDIT: "MSRP" should be capitalized as are all acronyms
        Edit: Conventionally here at BGT, the MSRP is places on a separate line, also, Lamina 45 would have a label of "Model: Lamina 45" and the website would either be labeled as "URL: www…" or "Website: www…" and be clickable (the clickable part is mandatory).

        Upon receiving my lamina 45 in the mail I was instantly impressed
        by the overall construction, feel, and compressibility of the sleeping bag.
        EDIT: Capitalize "Lamina".

        Actual Weight: 1lb. 11 oz. /788g
        EDIT: Add a space between "788" and "g".

        Description:
        EDIT: This is a great piece of information, but it is not a "description" of the product as is required. The Product Description section of an OR is used to paint a picture of what the product actually looks like. What color it is, what the outside/lining is made of, how the zipper is constructed, any features, like a drawcord, hood, etc. Imagine the reader of your OR doesn't have a graphic of the item and make sure your words create the picture of the item.

        You should not delete this section (it's good info) but move it into a "Performance in the Field" section as I explained below.

        The ripstop nylon is amazingly supple to sleep in and the thermic micro
        provides great loft.
        EDIT: Is "thermic micro" a trademark, a decryption or what? Is there a word missing? I don't understand what you are saying here. Please explain.

        The sleeping bag comes with both a compression stuff sack and a large
        mesh storage sack both adorned with the mountain hardwear logo.
        EDIT: Capitalize "Mountain Hardwear". If the logo is not capitalized on the product and that is what you want to convey, put the words in quotes.

        Field Test
        EDIT: This is an "Owner Review" so "Field Test" is inappropriate as you were not "testing" the gear, you were "using" it in the field.

        EDIT: The information you have in this section is generally broken into two different sections – one being "Locations and Conditions" and the other "Performance in the Field". "Locations and Conditions" would have the information as to a rough idea of how much you used it, where you used it, what the conditions were, etc. You covered that info, nicely. The "Performance in the Field" would be where you tell – well, how it worked (or didn't) for you. This is where the information you have in your "Description" should go.

        Temperatures encountered ranged from 100F-50F.
        EDIT: You need a space between the number and the "F" and you need metric conversions.

        Not only did it keep me more than comfortable on
        cold nights at 5,000 ft but it also acted, as a plush blanket on hot windy
        nights zipped open.
        EDIT: Ditto, metric conversions.

        The lamina 45 is a lightweight, warm, roomy sleeping bag both intelligently and
        practically designed
        EDIT: Capitalize "Lamina".
      • chcoa
        KATHY - Zachary Huang(2) †Mountain Hardwear Lamina 45 Sleeping Bag - Posted Nov 2(msg# 78405), Taken Nov 8, Edit Nov 8 (78418), Repost Nov 8, Edit Nov 9
        Message 3 of 4 , Jan 8, 2010
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          KATHY - Zachary Huang(2) â€" Mountain Hardwear Lamina 45 Sleeping Bag - Posted Nov 2(msg# 78405), Taken Nov 8, Edit Nov 8 (78418), Repost Nov 8, Edit Nov 9 (78429), Repost Nov 10 / waiting for tech help, Repost Dec 7, Edit/Approved Dec 20(78619), follow up sent Jan 8
          -------
          Hi Zachary,

          After reviewing our edit queue I noticed you have not uploaded this approved report. Anything we help with to get it done?

          Let me know what your plans are.
          Thanks,
          Jamie D.
          BGT Edit Admin Manager
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