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EDIT/APPROVAL - Leki Diva AERGON Antishock Trekking Poles - Kristine Mar

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  • richardglyon
    Kristine, Well done! I have only a few edits, most of them suggestions (Edits) that are intended to improve readability (and up to you) or things I missed the
    Message 1 of 5 , Nov 5, 2009
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      Kristine,
      Well done! I have only a few edits, most of them suggestions (Edits) that are intended to improve readability (and up to you) or things I missed the first time, for which I apologize. After revising you are approved to upload at http://tinyurl.com/yzzdd7e Please delete your Tests/OR folder copy.

      This is your second OR, so once you upload you are officially a Newbie and therefore qualified to apply to test gear. Congratulations! This means that you may begin applying for gear tests. To do this (i) get a signed Tester Agreement (available from the BGT website) to Jerry Goller, Attn: BackpackGearTest.org, 760 Three Fountains Dr. #110, Murray, UT 84107; (ii) join our sister Yahoo group backpackgeartestERs, (iii) look for Test Calls, and (iv) apply away.

      Even though not required I urge you to continue posting Owner Reviews. This should help hone your writing skills and give you extra credit when you are competing for gear to test.

      Thanks for your good work and welcome aboard. Cheers, Richard

      << I had purchased the Leki Diva Aergon trekking poles with this hike in mind.>>
      EDIT: This is a brand and so should be copied in the exact format Leki uses – AERGON, solid caps (as you did in the title). Here and elsewhere in the Review.

      <<Leki has a propriety locking mechanism>>
      EDIT: proprietary [spelling]

      <<which was proven by an independent testing lab to have 140 kg (309 lbs) holding force and 360 degree reverse turn security. (Source: http://www.leki.com)>>
      EDIT: We discourage links except in the Product Details. Please revise to get the point across without the link. Perhaps ""which according to Leki's website was proven . . . "

      <<On the lower end of the poles, the Leki's Soft Antishock System - Lite (SAS-L) has been incorporated in to the pole.>>
      EDIT: Lekis' [plural possessive] or (better) simply "Leki"

      <<The poles also have interchangeable baskets>>
      Edit: Even though you haven't used anything but the hiking baskets, consider a brief description of the other baskets supplied. How many sets and how they differ.

      <<I did not get to use these trekking poles on Mt. Whitney as I had originally planned, but I have used these trekking poles approximately eight times on day hikes ranging from moderate to difficult, but will focus my observations on the more difficult hikes in which I felt that the poles were truly tested.>>
      Edit: I find this to be an awkward, overlong sentence. I'd end one sentence after "difficult" and start the second "I will focus . . ."

      << All three hikes were more than six hours long and covered distances between 7 miles (11 km) and 14 miles (23 km) and elevation gains from 3300' (1006 m) to over 4000' (1,219 m)>>
      Edit: The elevation gains are approximate, so I'd round off the conversions too – 1000 m and 1200 m. Look for this elsewhere in your report.

      << The majority of the mountain is forested, although the final few hundred feet (approximately 60-70 m) is above tree line.>>
      Edit: In the same vein, you can drop "approximately" as redundant.

      <<The route which we followed was: Webster Cliff Trailhead to AT heading west, this portion also known as Kedron Flume Trail, 1.3 miles (2.1 km) with 1200' (366 m) ascent.>>
      EDIT: to the Appalachian Trail (AT). [Sorry I missed this before. We have international readers who may not be familiar with the Appalachian Trail's common abbreviation. By adding the parenthetical after the name the first time you use it you may use the initials elsewhere in the report.]
      Edit: Another rounding opportunity – 365 m

      << Then 2.2 miles (3.5m) to the Center via the A?Z and Avalon trails.>>
      EDIT: via the AT [I assume that's what you meant.]

      << Mt. Jackson (4050') (1234 m) and Mt. Webster (3910') (1192 m). We started the hike at about 9:00AM and got back to the AMC Center at 5:00 PM.>>
      EDIT: Add a space between "9:00" and "AM"
      Comment: Here are two places where you give exact altitude, so precise conversion (as you have done) is appropriate.

      << I only adjusted them once, and so far, they have never loosened.>>
      Edit: You could delete the comma after "so far"

      <<By using the trekking poles, I could feel the weight being taken off my legs and being distributed to my upper body when going uphill, and in going downhill, I could definitely feel how the stress on my knees was lessened>>
      Edit: Same thing – consider deleting the comma after "downhill"

      <<Interchangeable Baskets and Tips>> [Picture caption]
      EDIT: Not really – the photo shows only the hiking baskets. Please revise.
    • asklarry99
      Hi Kristine- As your mentor, let me say great job on the reports--you ll be testing in no time! However, as a tester, I wanted to point out that the official
      Message 2 of 5 , Nov 8, 2009
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        Hi Kristine-

        As your mentor, let me say great job on the reports--you'll be testing in no time!

        However, as a tester, I wanted to point out that the official company name is LEKI (in all caps). The name is derived from the founder (LEnhart) and the city where it started (KIrchheim). Your mentor (and your editor) should be spanked for missing this the 1st time!

        -larry
      • K Mar
        Okay Larry.  I made the change.  Thanks for all your help and comments. ________________________________ From: asklarry99 To:
        Message 3 of 5 , Nov 8, 2009
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          Okay Larry.  I made the change.  Thanks for all your help and comments.




          ________________________________
          From: asklarry99 <asklarry98@...>
          To: BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Sun, November 8, 2009 2:22:38 PM
          Subject: [BackpackGearTest] Comment - Leki Diva AERGON Antishock Trekking Poles - askLarry

           
          Hi Kristine-

          As your mentor, let me say great job on the reports--you' ll be testing in no time!

          However, as a tester, I wanted to point out that the official company name is LEKI (in all caps). The name is derived from the founder (LEnhart) and the city where it started (KIrchheim). Your mentor (and your editor) should be spanked for missing this the 1st time!

          -larry







          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • richardglyon
          Ouch!
          Message 4 of 5 , Nov 9, 2009
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            Ouch!

            --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "asklarry99" <asklarry98@...> wrote:
            >
            > Hi Kristine-
            >
            > As your mentor, let me say great job on the reports--you'll be testing in no time!
            >
            > However, as a tester, I wanted to point out that the official company name is LEKI (in all caps). The name is derived from the founder (LEnhart) and the city where it started (KIrchheim). Your mentor (and your editor) should be spanked for missing this the 1st time!
            >
            > -larry
            >
          • chcoa
            In Kristine and Richard s defense BGT does not have LEKI capitalized in the listing either. Jamie D
            Message 5 of 5 , Nov 12, 2009
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              In Kristine and Richard's defense BGT does not have LEKI capitalized in the listing either.

              Jamie D

              --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "asklarry99" <asklarry98@...> wrote:
              >
              > Hi Kristine-
              >
              > As your mentor, let me say great job on the reports--you'll be testing in no time!
              >
              > However, as a tester, I wanted to point out that the official company name is LEKI (in all caps). The name is derived from the founder (LEnhart) and the city where it started (KIrchheim). Your mentor (and your editor) should be spanked for missing this the 1st time!
              >
              > -larry
              >
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