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EDIT: OR - Loki TAK Raincoat - Travis Crooke

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  • Ray
    Hello Travis, Thank you for your Owner Review, your initial edits will follow. They will take the following format; EDIT: must be changed Edit: should be
    Message 1 of 3 , Sep 27, 2009
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      Hello Travis,

      Thank you for your Owner Review, your initial edits will follow. They will take the following format;

      EDIT: must be changed
      Edit: should be changed but will be left to your discretion
      Comment: just that or something to think about

      When you have made the changes please repost here with REPOST added to the subject line. Include your name also please.

      Ray


      Travis, many of these edits are just the result of you not using a spell-checker. Try to do so in the future.

      EDIT: The title should contain the actual name of the jacket; Tak Light Shell

      EDIT: Your HTML is very jumbled up because of all the huge pictures. While the pictures are nice they need to be resized and some thought be given to placement. (Love the couliour shot.)

      You should have a Field Data section in your review with a list of areas and conditions, temps, etc that the shell was used. Look at some reports and reviews from veteran testers for an idea of what is looked for.


      ***Product Description (from Manufacturere's website):

      EDIT: "manufacturer's", and really this paragraph is not needed. We prefer the Owner Review to just contain your description.


      ***Test Analysis:

      EDIT: this is an Owner Review, not a test. As we do not want the review to be confused with the actual tests that we also have on site please remove the word "test"



      ***The idea is beautiful because the mittens and face shield can hide within the garment, giving it the appearance of a normal coat, or they can be employed and you can report to ninja practice.

      EDIT: We keep everything in the first person, no "you"s, just "me" and "I". Here is my canned explanation.

      Projection

      "When you tighten the laces on the boots, you pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then you tie it with a double knot and you are ready to go down the trail."

      This is a very common way to write, but in doing so we just said what "other people" would do, not our self. This is projecting our thoughts onto the reader. We do not know how other people tie their shoes. We keep away from "you" and "your" in our writing.

      We are writing a review of "our" gear based on "our" experiences. So we need to keep it in the first person. Here is how it should look;

      "When I tighten the laces on the boots, I pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then I tie it with a double knot and I'm ready to go down the trail."



      ***I tested the TAK Light Shell Jacket (referred to as the TAK)

      EDIT: remove "tested" and nowhere on their site do I see the shell spelled as TAK, only Tak



      *** The jacket is made of Asgard 2.5 material, which offers rain protection without insulation. The material includes ripstop technology and is akin in thickness to other three-layer raincoat material such as Gore-Tex Paclite.

      EDIT: this is wrong. It is a two layer material, not three. The .5 in the name refers to the printed raised surface on the inside that takes the place of an inner layer. And we don't compare to other brands anyway, so the Gore-Tex mention needs to come out.



      *** I thought I would test this garment for Backpackgeartest.org. I tested the coat in Topaz

      EDIT: I thought I would "review" this garment for Backpackgeartest.org. I "bought" the coat in Topaz (Rather than make an edit for all of these please go through the entire review and remove test, testing, tested. Where you say a thunderstorm was a good test of the fabric is fine.)




      ***The jacket comes with a single front zipper, which I like because it is easy to zip quickly in a storm. I find that jackets with two main zippers often become difficult to zip together,

      Comment: I have never seen a rain shell with two zippers. Are you talking about two-piece parka systems?



      *** There is a little flap at the end of each sleeve, and if you grab it with your other hand and fold it over the cuff, like one would do with those sandwich bags that are not zip locks, your hand is magically inside of a built in mitten.

      EDIT: all the "you"s need to change to the first person




      *** The mit is useful in keeping your hands dry and warm.

      EDIT: mitt



      ***Mount Zirkel is north of Steamboat and reignes supreme

      EDIT: reigns



      *** This feature is great when backpacking because the straps of the bag sometimes get in the way of the venting zips if you can only zip in one direction.

      EDIT: the "you" thing



      *** They are situated 6 inches ( 15.2 cm) above the bottom of the coat,

      EDIT: remove space before 15.2



      ***On our way down from the hike, we were running from a hailstorm, but did not have the asstance of Zoran,

      EDIT: assistance



      *** A little pool forms inside the mit or in the little flap on the sleeve.

      EDIT: mitt



      ***This is a minor annoyance but worh noting.

      EDIT: worth



      *** I wore the jacket when summiting Torey's Peak

      EDIT: Torreys Peak



      *** It was an ideal outer layer and it protected me from the 70 mile per hour (113kmph)

      EDIT: need a space after 113



      *** Just look how geeky Avearge Joe looks in that first photo!

      EDIT: Average



      *** I find that heavy jackets ladden with water often strain the hanging hooks

      EDIT: laden



      *** Because the sleeves are three inches longer for the mittens, it bodes well when reaching for the handlebars on a bike.

      Edit: "it bodes" does not work the way you have it here. I would replace it with "they work"




      *** I have visited their heeadquarters in Grand Junction, Colorado.

      EDIT: headquarters



      ***I met the owners of the business and they are extremely good about their warrenty.

      EDIT: warranty



      ***If you have a problem, you can call them and chances are good that you will personally speak with an owner or designer.

      EDIT: keep it about yourself not others please.




      *** The mitten and face shield features set this jacket apart from other brands, and the quality of conctruction is superb.

      EDIT: construction



      *** There has been no freying or rips after a year.

      EDIT: fraying



      *** This is an ideal backbacking coat

      EDIT: backpacking



      *** the company is small so they are easy to contact with warrenty issues.

      EDIT: warranty




      ***Hood drawstring closure (Quicky and easy to do when wet or wearing mittens)

      EDIT: Quick



      ***No velcro cinch on wrist

      EDIT: Velcro (proper noun)
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