EDIT: Keen Voyageur Mid Hiking Boots - Paul Schilke
Here are my first round of edits for your Owner Review of the Keen Voyageur hiking boots. I use the usual format: EDIT (all caps) = required change; Edit (initial cap) = a suggested change; and Comment is just that, with no change required.
Before proceeding to specifics, I recommend that you review Chapter 6 of BGT's Survival Guide, which lists minimum requirements for an Owner Review, as I think that your draft is deficient in several respects. I'll refer to this Chapter in my edit.
After making the necessary revisions please (1) repost the plain text version to this list, with REPOST, the product name, and your name in the subject line, and (2) also post an html version, with photographs, in the Tests/Owner Reviews folder on backpackgeartest.org.
KEEN VOYAGER MID HIKING BOOT
EDIT (here and throughout your report): The product name is Voyageur (with a "u")
Edit: You may wish to make this non-clickable to discourage spammers.
<LOCATION: Mogollon Rim, AZ>
EDIT: Arizona [Our foreign readers may not be familiar with the US postal conventions]
EDIT: add "USA" after "Arizona"
<I have been a serious backpacker since 2002. I enjoy lightweight camping. I use several different kinds of stoves. Nowadays I prefer using water filters to chemical treatments. I have camped under a tarp, but have also spent several sleep-deprived nights buzz-bombed by rodents. I hike and camp in the deserts and the mountains. Although I have spent up to 7 months backpacking, I usually
only get out for 3 to 5 days. I have very limited use of my left arm.>
Comment: Very informative biography, and all in less than 90 words.
EDIT: On Keen's website it's $100, which you should post as "$100 US"
<Listed Weight: 16 oz (454 g)
Measured Weight: 33.9 oz (960 g)>
EDIT: I didn't find a listed weight on Keen's website. You may have got this figure from a Keen hangtag, or the website may have changed. If so, please explain; if not, delete the Listed Weight line.
EDIT: You need to indicate that the Measured Weight is for both boots, and that the Listed Weight (if included) is for one.
EDIT: Men's US 9 [Shoe sizes vary by geography.]
EDIT: Indicate the range of sizes available
General EDIT: This is the place to list other listed features (see below).
<Never before have I considered Keen as a manufacturer of backpacking shoes and boots which I would buy.>
EDIT: Chapter 6 recommends "It is helpful to include a one sentence description either as a sub-title or very close to the top." It's necessary in your report.
Edit: "that I would buy" reads better
<The manufacturer website lists a lot of features but does not list this one feature, the deciding factor for my purchase.>
EDIT: What features does the manufacturer list? These will help describe the boots to your readers. These should be included in the preceding section.
<I have found the Voyager Mid to be something of a weakling when it comes to tread. On sloped terrain, the lugs are too shallow for off-trail hiking or on-trail hiking in bad conditions. The Voyager Mid would work better with a Vibram sole.>
General EDIT: This is why Field Use should precede your commentary. At this point the reader has no notion of what you've put the boots through. Please reverse these sections.
<Some of the tread started to delaminate pretty quickly after I started wearing the shoes. The delamination stabilized, nothing major fell off and nothing flops around as I hike.>
EDIT: Need more detail here. How quickly, and after what use? Did anything (minor) fall off?
< Although the Voyager Mid hiking shoe is acceptable for most trail hiking and pavement pounding, they are too cushy for me. I prefer a hiking shoe with a stiffer sole.>
Edit: More detail would be helpful here too, especially since you use a colloquial word, "cushy." That's OK, but please explain why this makes the boots inadequate for your hiking.
I have used these shoes on a five day trip to Sedona's Secret Mountain
Wilderness and a three day trip into the Blue Range Primitive Area with loads exceeding 40 lbs (18kg).>
EDIT: Much more detail is needed for the backpacking use: nature of the trail (rock, scree, established dirt trail, whatever); temperatures; wet or dry; type of socks you wore anything that would aid the reader's understanding of trail conditions.
EDIT: 40 lb [no "s"]
EDIT: 18 kg [with a space]
EDIT: Add the states for the hiking venues [Many folks don't know where Sedona is.]