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EDIT/Approval - Osprey Exos 58 Pack - Ray Estrella

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  • richardglyon
    Ray, Great report, and especially of interest to me, as I have been considering an Exos or Atmos. Terrific photos too. A few edits, in the usual format; then
    Message 1 of 3 , Jun 1, 2009
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      Ray, Great report, and especially of interest to me, as I have been considering an Exos or Atmos. Terrific photos too. A few edits, in the usual format; then you may upload at http://tinyurl.com/c5gdlf
      Cheers, Richard

      A general EDIT/Edit first. I think your description of the pack would be much easier to follow if you moved the first paragraph under "Observations" to the top of your "Product Description" section, or maybe even make it a separate section (at the beginning) called "Background." In the Product Description you several times refer to features from the Talon packs, without saying what they are and the basis for your familiarity with them. All is made clear by the paragraph I suggest you move.

      <Manufacturer: Osprey Pack Inc>
      EDIT: Osprey Packs, Inc. [plural, comma, period]

      <The bottom is made from heavier 160 x 210 denier Window Ripstop Codura.>
      EDIT: Cordura [spelling]

      < There are no dividers or pockets inside of it.>
      Edit: You could delete "of."

      < It also helps compress the top of the pack, pulling the body away from the back of the wearers head.>
      EDIT: wearer's head [possessive, with an apostrophe]

      < These straps are made from 7mm nylon webbing and go through some very small duckbill buckles.>
      EDIT: add a space between "7" and "mm"

      <I suggested two years ago to run the straps under the pocket, maybe through a "button-hole" like slot in the fabric.>
      Edit: "button hole"-like [with a hyphen]

      <They have made the Exos with the option to reroute the straps underneath which I did the minute I saw them.>
      Edit: "Osprey has made" would be clearer.

      <On each side of the pack face is a 15 in (37 cm) long vertical zipper.>
      EDIT: (38 cm)

      <At the bottom is a set of 7mm sleeping pad straps.>
      EDIT: Another space needed: 7 mm

      <(I am catching a salamander for Jenn.)>
      Comment: You are indeed a gentleman. Some guys have all the moves.

      <Next up I carried it on a 30 mi (48 km) three-day backpacking trip to San Jacinto State Park and San Jacinto National Wilderness that saw 8800 ft (2682 m) of elevation gain>
      Edit: Unless 8800 ft is exact you might round the conversion off to 2700 m.

      < My starting pack weight was 32 lb (14.52 kg) with food and 3 L of water.>
      Edit: Same - 14.5 kg

      < While my test of the Argon 110 went well I did not really need the volume of it nor the weight of the admittedly cush suspension system.>
      EDIT: or the weight ["nor" makes a double negative.]
      EDIT/Edit: What does "cush" mean? Cushy?

      <I actually did not think I would even like these pockets as I have always bought into the early Osprey Aether philosophy that keeping everything inside the pack would help by keeping the center of gravity closer to the back and have less to snag on brush trees or rocks. In fact this idea that I got from them when I got that first Aether pack has stayed with me to this day. Seeing the "outside"
      pockets made me wonder if I would even use them. Boy, do I use them!>
      Comment: I had the same initial impression when I bought my ULA Catalyst. Boy do I use the outside pockets now!

      <So far I have not needed to use the Stow-on-the-Go Trekking Pole Attachment system. I did try it once on a hike just to show Dave how they work.>
      EDIT: how it works ["system," singular, is the antecedent.]

      < When I hike with my wife I take everything but her bag, snacks, clothes, and personal gear.
      Comment: As I said, a true gentleman.

      < I was left with just water, lunch first-aid kit, PLB, rain gear and water shoes in the pack.>
      Edit: I know what a PLB is but others might not. Consider spelling it out.

      <While I have had high weights in it I have found that it's sweet spot is at 30 lb (13.6 kg)>
      EDIT: its sweet spot [no apostrophe]
    • rayestrella1
      Hello Richard, Thank you for the edits. I can t believe that of got by me. And to think that Roger did not beat that completely out of me. (Please sir may I
      Message 2 of 3 , Jun 1, 2009
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        Hello Richard,

        Thank you for the edits. I can't believe that "of" got by me. And to think that Roger did not beat that completely out of me. (Please sir may I have anotherÂ…) I found another edit after I uploaded so fixed it. Test version is gone.

        Instead of moving that entire paragraph to where it seems to me to be too conversational, I made an intro statement in the description doing what you are looking for. I hope.

        I hear you about the pockets. I just started using the Exos 34 for overnighters in preparation of trying to fit everything for a four day trip in it and am bummed that it does not have the vertical pockets of the 58. I have come to really like them.

        Thanks again, see you down the trail.

        Ray
      • richardglyon
        Ray, Your new introduction fixes things. As for the of, with me it s only an Edit, not a life-threatening matter. Richard
        Message 3 of 3 , Jun 1, 2009
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          Ray,

          Your new introduction fixes things. As for the "of," with me it's only an Edit, not a life-threatening matter. Richard

          --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "rayestrella1" <rayestrella@...> wrote:
          >
          > Hello Richard,
          >
          > Thank you for the edits. I can't believe that "of" got by me. And to think that Roger did not beat that completely out of me. (Please sir may I have anotherÂ…) I found another edit after I uploaded so fixed it. Test version is gone.
          >
          > Instead of moving that entire paragraph to where it seems to me to be too conversational, I made an intro statement in the description doing what you are looking for. I hope.
          >
          >
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