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RE: EDIT: OR - Campmor Women's Storm Sphere Waterproof/Breathable Parka - Jessica Zahnow

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  • theMiddleSister@usaring.com
    Jessica, I hope you didn t take my e-mail as an order to get a mentor. Your OR is by far better than some I ve edited! I do think highly of the mentoring
    Message 1 of 3 , Apr 1, 2009
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      I hope you didn't take my e-mail as an "order" to get a mentor. Your OR is by far better than some I've edited! I do think highly of the mentoring program though - I am a mentor, myself - and I think working with a mentor is very helpful especially in the application and first test report phase.

      Anyway, if you go the mentor route or just incorporate my edits, just use the REPOST format, either way.

      BGT OR Editor

      ----- Original Message -----
      From: Jessica Zahnow
      To: BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Sunday, March 29, 2009 11:24 AM
      Subject: SPAM-Phrase Re: [BackpackGearTest] EDIT: OR - Campmor Women's Storm Sphere Waterproof/Breathable Parka - Jessica Zahnow

      Thanks for getting back to me, Kathy. It's been a few weeks since I
      submitted the review, so I wasn't sure what was going on. I will take your
      advice and work with the mentoring program, so that you can devote your time
      to more seasoned reviewers. After working with them, should I resubmit as a
      REPOST, or as a new OR?

      Thank you for your time,

      On Fri, Mar 27, 2009 at 1:25 PM, theMiddleSister@... <
      TheMiddleSister@...> wrote:

      > Jessica,
      > I have been assigned to edit your Owner's Review. This appears to be your
      > very first review, so I tried to go easy on you! ;) Writing for BGT takes
      > practice and you needn't be discouraged by the editing process. If it seems
      > "greek" to you, you might want to check in with the BGT mentoring program
      > where eager volunteers will help you master the process of writing ORs,
      > applying for tests and writing test reports. It's a great
      > program and I really think it would be helpful for you to contact
      > Jenn E at mentor@... <mentor%40backpackgeartest.org>before proceeding.
      > If you would rather not use the mentoring program, I will work with
      > you in a couple of steps. This post will give you some basic edits
      > first. When you have made these initial edits (or contacted and
      > worked with a mentor), I would like you to REPOST your OR to the
      > list. When you repost, make sure that you have in the subject
      > line "REPOST: Owner Review - Product Name - Your Name". Your name and
      > the manufacturer's name always needs to be in
      > the subject line for reviews, reports, edits, etc.
      > Also, after the corrections, you need to upload your HTML file to the Owner
      > Review test folder so I can check out your HTML. When you repost, you must
      > put a link in the e-mail to that file location so I can view the uploaded
      > file. Actually, the HTML file must always be uploaded to the OR Test folder
      > and the URL of that file must be posted in your email text posting to the
      > list.
      > At that time, I'll check out the HTML and, if all is OK, give you the go
      > ahead to upload. Please remember to use "REPOST" when you report the plain
      > text of your corrected OR to the list.
      > My list of edits follows. Let me know if you don't understand anything I've
      > written.
      > Conventionally the following terms are used in the editing process:
      > *** EDIT: you must fix this to comply with BackpackGearTest standards
      > [because the Editor says so!]
      > *** Edit: you should seriously consider fixing this in some way [unless you
      > seriously object with good reason]
      > *** Comment: usually just that, although you might want to make a change of
      > some sort as a result.
      > Kathy Waters
      > BGT Owner Review Editor
      > __________________________________________________________
      > ITEM: Campmor Women's Storm Sphere Waterproof/Breathable Parka
      > Item Number: 75551
      > EDIT: Proper format for the heading of Owner Reviews is:
      > Product Name
      > Owner Review by Reviewer Name
      > Date of Review
      > So, you should have your title as:
      > Campmor Women's Storm Sphere Waterproof/Breathable Parka
      > Owner Review by Jessica Zahnow
      > March 9, 2009
      > Height: 5' 2" (1.57 Meters)
      > Weight: 125 Pounds (57 Kilograms)
      > EDIT: To be consistent, you should use either all spelled out measurement
      > labels or all abbreviated measurements. For instance: 5 ft 10 in (1.78 m) or
      > 5 feet 10 inches (1.78 meters) or 5' 10" (1.78 m) and 195 lb (88 kg) or 195
      > pounds (88 kilograms). You need not capitalize the measurement. Also, unless
      > the measurement needs to be precise, you don't need to take the measurement
      > out to 2 decimal places. In the case of a person's height, 1.8 meters would
      > be sufficient. See http://www.backpackgeartest.org/convert.html for BGT
      > Rules of Measurements.
      > City, State, Country: Portland, OR, USA
      > EDIT: Please spelling out Oregon and United States of America for our
      > foreign readers.
      > Backpacking Background:
      > EDIT: EDIT: Your bio is just a tad over the 100 word limit. Can you pare
      > down 20 words?
      > Listed Weight: 9.6 oz (272g)
      > EDIT: Insert a space between "272" and "g".
      > Weight As Delivered: Not Available
      > EDIT: Actual weight is a mandatory requirement for ALL Owner Review and
      > testing reports.
      > Edit/COMMENT: It is common to add available colors/sizes and reviewed
      > color/size to the Product Information section.
      > Description: Lightweight breathable rain parka with hood, zippered underarm
      > vents, and sealed seams
      > EDIT/COMMENT: While you have a good description of the product field use,
      > you need a section describing the product in detail. You might want to check
      > out other ORs to see what I mean. A good tester's ORs to check out is Ray
      > Estrella. Ray has written well over 100 ORs and covers the OR requirements
      > well.
      > The item has been tested at sea level, at high elevation (17,000 ft /
      > 5182m),
      > and in rain forest terrain.
      > EDIT: Add a space between "5182" and "m".
      > Daily around-town use includes walking (1-5 miles/1.61 - 8.05km) or biking
      > 1-10
      > miles (1.61 - 16.10km) per trip, in the rain, at a slow to moderate pace.
      > EDIT: Add a space between all numbers and the measurement abbreviations.
      > I am short, but have a long torso, and the parka provides adequate length
      > to almost completely
      > cover my butt without being too long. The item is sized accurately and
      > adequately to allow for layering underneath.
      > EDIT: Can you, perhaps, give us a measurement here of the length of the
      > jacket versus your torso length? Alternately, this information could be
      > added to the Product Information section in list format.
      > Rubberized velcro adjuster tabs on wrists of sleeves
      > EDIT: If you are certain, the adjuster tabs are indeed Velcro brand, you
      > need to capitalize it. If not, use "hook and loop".
      > Hood is not very comfortable, you have to unzip the top/chin of the coat to
      > put
      > on the hood, or you can't get it over your head
      > EDIT: The use of the words, "you", "your" ,etc. is considered "projection"
      > - telling the reader what to do or what to expect. BGT ORs and reports are
      > to ONLY reflect the writer's OWN experience. Please re-word to reflect your
      > experience.
      > Velcro tabs on front snag silk underwear and wool
      > EDIT: If you are certain, the adjuster tabs are indeed Velcro brand, you
      > need to capitalize it. If not, use "hook and loop".
      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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