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EDIT/Approval - Jetboil PCS - Jeremy Laporte

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  • richardglyon
    Jeremy, Now that s good (and prompt) work! A few things to fix; after you do you are free to upload. You missed a couple of my EDITs last time – but I
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 25, 2009
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      Jeremy, Now that's good (and prompt) work! A few things to fix;
      after you do you are free to upload. You missed a couple of my EDITs
      last time – but I missed a couple of typos that I should have caught
      then too. When you have revised you may upload. Be sure that you
      upload as an OR, and that you delete the file in the Tests/OR folder.
      Cheers, Richard

      <Manufacturer description:
      The Personal Cooking System (PCS) is a complete food and beverage
      multi-tool you can hold in your hand and weighs about a pound. Lights
      with the click of a button, and within two minutes you've got two
      cups of boiling water ready for coffee or a quick meal. Pack
      components, fuel and accessories into the Nalgene-sized cup for
      convenient transport.

      •1.0 Liter FluxRing® cooking cup with insulating Cargo Cozy
      •Adjustable burner with push-button igniter
      •Insulating drink-through lid
      •Insulating measuring cup bottom Fuel sold separately>
      Edit: I know I made this a voluntary change last time, and it still
      is, but I ask you again to consider adding quotation marks
      before "The Personal Cooking System" and after "Fuel sold
      separately." In reading your html version it's not clear where
      Jetboil's description stops and yours starts, and quotation marks
      would help.
      EDIT: Make "Fuel sold separately" a separate bullet point, on its own
      line, just below "Insulating measuring cup bottom."

      <It has a piezo igniter to start the stove without matches or a
      lighter. A button to regulate the flow of gas and the cooking.>
      EDIT: Make this one sentence: "It has a piezo igniter to start the
      stove without matches or a lighter and a button to regulate the flow
      of gas."

      <Please note that even if the cooking cup has a capacity of 1 liter
      or about 4 cups, the manufacturer recommends not to fill it up over
      the 2 cup (500 ml, 0.5 liter) line to avoid boiling over.>
      Edit: Consider changing "even if" to "even though" Up to you, but
      this would be a bit more accurate. A nuance of English usage.

      <The Burner base goes on the gas canister, the cooking cup slides on
      the burner base and the lid goes on the cooking cup once the liquid
      is in it.>
      EDIT: The burner base goes [with a lower case b]

      <Because of the cup the PCS is mostly used to boil water. It does
      this really fast and according to the manufacturer consumes less gas
      than other stove.>
      EDIT: other stoves

      <Once I poured a can of stew in the cooking cup but the stew was so
      thick that it was cook at the bottom of the cup but not at the top.>
      EDIT: cooked at the bottom

      <The only issue I had with it was the last time I used it few weeks
      ago.>
      EDIT: Add a comma after "used it" and change "few weeks" to "a few
      weeks"

      < I could start the stove without any problems but one or two seconds
      later the flame would die while the gas keeps flowing out.>
      EDIT: kept flowing out [You are talking about an event in the past
      and so should use the past tense.]

      <THINGS I LIKE

      Ease of use
      Self Contained>
      EDIT: Self-contained [with a hyphen and lower case c]
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