EDIT: Fox River Endeavor Crew Socks Liz Stevens
Edited by: Pam Wyant
Sorry you had to wait so long for this edit on your 2nd review, but
the good news is that test calls have been on break too, so we should
be able to get this whipped into shape in good time for you to
participate when test calls resume.
Your edits follow this convention:
EDIT: Required correction
Edit: Correction needed, your discretion as to how to change
Comment: Suggestion for improvement, or merely a comment on
something I found interesting
FOX RIVER WICK DRY® ENDEAVOR WOMENS CREW SOCKS
### EDIT: We ask that trademark symbols not be included, so please
### Comment: The lower case `f' looks a little out of place,
especially with the all-cap categories. I'd suggest capitalizing
I'm an artist, illustrator and outdoor enthusiast. I started hiking
in earnest 2 years ago to become more fit. I'm pretty much a day
hiker, but I've also taken backpacking trips from 2 to 5 days long.
I plan to take longer trips as my fitness level improves. I hike
most often in steep, arid terrain where water, elevation and heat are
big factors. My main concerns are comfort, fatigue reduction, and
hydration on the trail. My pack weight is not usually more than 35
pounds (16 Kilograms), but I am interested in reducing that so I can
carry more art supplies for sketching on the trail.
### EDIT: Your biography is several words over our 100 word limit.
You need to cut at least 7 words. This can be done fairly easily by
changing a few phrases, such as instead of saying "I'm pretty much a
day hiker" you could say "I'm mostly a day hiker". Instead
of "I've also taken backpacking trips from 2 to 5 days long" you
could say "I've also done 2-5 day backpacking trips" Going through
your biography and thinking of how to say the same thing in fewer
words should bring you to the 100 word limit fairly easily while
still keeping all your main points.
Listed Weight: Lightweight
### EDIT: You should use "not available" or n/a as the Listed Weight
if the manufacturer does not give a weight using measurement
figures. "Lightweight" is not considered a listed weight.
Measured Weight: n/a
### EDIT: You must provide your measured weight. `N/A' or the
manufacturer's weight is never acceptable here only your actual
measured weight on scales. If you do not have a set of scales that
measure small weights (a set of kitchen scales is okay, although not
real precise), you can usually take them to a post office and have
them weighed, or perhaps a supermarket produce department or deli.
Just be prepared for some strange looks from employees if there
aren't `self-serve' scales. <grin> I finally bit the bullet and
bought a digital scale after I got tired of the weird looks from
customers who happened to wander in to the post office while I was
weighing things on the scales in the lobby
Other details: Style #2558, Crew Sock
### Edit: The category on this would be better listed as "Model"
instead of "Other Details", and the full model name should be used.
PRODUCT FEATURES FROM FOX RIVER'S WEB SITE:
"A rugged, lightweight, quick-drying sock, designed for outdoor,
active wear. Great also for every day.
* AXT 50/50 dries 20% faster and is 3 times more abrasion
resistant than other merino socks
* Dimensional knit for a women's fit
* Easy relaxed top for stay-up comfort
* Cushioned sole with mesh knit side channels for air flow to
* Spandex arch panel promotes circulation and holds sock in place
Temperature: Temperate; Weight: Light weight; Height/Type: Crew"
### Edit/comment: In general, we don't like to see quoted
manufacturer hype in reports. You may see some of this in older
reports, but we are trying to have our newer reports reflect more of
the testers own words. I'd like to see you eliminate this section
entirely, or at the least shorten it to the essential parts that
might tell the reader why these socks are different, which is
probably best done within the text of your product description.
<<IMAGE GOES HERE. ALT TEXT = "Color: Fog" IMAGE CAPTION = "Fox
River Wick Dry Endeavor">>
(all images courtesy Fox River's website)
These socks are available in three sizes: Small: Womens Shoe Sizes 1-
5 1/2 (US); Medium: Womens Shoe Sizes 6-8 1/2 (US); and Large: Womens
Shoe Sizes 9-12 (US). The fabric consists of 38% nylon, 30% merino
wool, 30% recycled polyester, and 2% spandex. The socks are
available in 4 color choices: Oceana, Terra Brown, Oatmeal, and Fog.
<<IMAGE GOES HERE. ALT TEXT = "Sock Colors" IMAGE CAPTION = "Oceana,
Terra Brown, Oatmeal, Fog">>
Fox River also partners with the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.
5% of net profits on sales of Womens socks go to the Breast Cancer
Research Foundation. <<IMAGE GOES HERE. ALT TEXT = "Breast Cancer
Research Partner" IMAGE CAPTION = "Supports Breast Cancer Research">>
### EDIT: While I appreciate the fact that Fox River supports a
charitable concern, the photograph does not really have anything to
do with the socks you are reviewing, so please remove it. Also
remove the "TM" symbol. ### Comment: Actually, I think the fact
that Fox River supports breast cancer research is better as mentioned
in your description later in the report, and I'd like to see it
removed totally here, since it is not a `feature' per se.
At this point I am going to stop making formal, specific edits,
because the format of your review needs some work before we get into
details. In your "Product Description" section, you've mixed in
quite a bit of field use experience. You really need a
separate "Product Description section, which would immediately follow
the "Features" section that you used above, and as suggested above,
try to eliminate as much manufacturer `hype' as possible and describe
the product features in your own words. Try to describe the socks as
though you aren't using photos and as thoroughly as if you were
trying to make someone understand what the socks are like without the
benefit of having seen them. The product description section really
should not tell us about your use of the socks or conclusions about
them that should be saved for a later Field Use section.
Your "Field Use" section is really more of a "Field Conditions"
section. Having it follow the "Product Description" is consistent
with good reviewing, but there are a few issues you need to address.
When you use approximate numbers for imperial measurements, you also
need to use approximate numbers for the conversions: i.e. about 4
mi would convert to 6 km, 1000 feet would convert to 300 meters, etc.
Also make sure to avoid using the words "you", and keep in mind that
you were "using" not "testing" these socks, since this is an owner
review and not a test series. You also need to separate out the
Kentucky trip and the California trip, as conditions were greatly
different on these two trips. Being from neighboring West Virginia,
I am pretty sure there aren't any elevations approaching 10,000 feet
in Kentucky! Also, please be more specific about the eight weeks
use `lakeside'. Were you wearing them daily? How often did you wash
them? As for the backpacking trip, did you use these socks
exclusively? How many pairs did you take, and how did you change
them out? Did you wash them out? Details are great.
Next you need a section describing your use and performance of the
socks. This could be "Field Use" if you re-name the other
section "Field Conditions", or it could be something like "Field
Experience" or "Use and Experiences", "Use and Conclusions", etc.
The title is really up to you, but should convey what the reader can
expect from the section.
Keep in mind as you re-organize and re-write these sections to keep
projection out of your report. It's great to report that you had
blisters and cured them by using liners, but keep in mind that others
may not have the same blister issue and that some people (like a
friend of mine) can't wear liner socks without blisters. In short,
report what you experienced, but avoid advice to others.
Once you've revised your report, please upload the new HTML version
to the owner review test folder and repost a text version here. A
handy tool that makes it easier for the editing team is `tiny url',
available here: http://tinyurl.com
This tool will convert a long
URL which yahoo breaks apart rendering it unclickable into a short
I'll look forward to seeing your new version, and we'll pick up with
specific edits at that point.