EDIT: REI Mini Candle Lantern - Dawn Larsen
- EDIT: REI Mini Candle Lantern - Dawn Larsen
Coming along nicely. Rather brief, but that's not a major worry here. A few
small things to deal with, mainly in the area of the HTML version.
As a preamble, you should have used 'REPOST: REi Mini ....' as the heading
as it is only the Editors who use 'EDIT: ...' for their posting. This is not
a big deal, just remember for next time.
The HTML issues concern the headings:
> Product Description: Lightweight candle lantern good for backpackingEDIT: Would you be able to make these into proper headings?
> Field Experience: The first one of these lanterns I had (the first
EDIT: You also need a heading of 'Product Details' before the line
'Manufacturer: REI' . Perhaps if you read a few of my Owner reviews they
will show you the format we prefer. It isn't absolutley compulsory, but it
is highly recommended.
> Product Description: Lightweight candle lantern good for backpackingEDIT: You have mixed up 'Product Description' details with a bit of your own
> and emergency home use. I have owned two of these, both purchased at
> an REI store. The first came with just the lantern and a candle, no
experiences here. We would prefer you keep the technical stuf separate to
make it easy for the reader.
> You can store up to four extra tealights in theEDIT: we discourage the use of 'you' in out ORs. Our aim is to avoid ever
trying to tell the reader what he shoudl do: we only describe our own
experiences. This case isn't bad, but we find it best to simply not use
'you'. Usually you can fix such cases by writing 'I can store ...', 'if I
were to bump it' and so on.
> The instructions tell you toEDIT: 'tell me to ...'