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Re: EDIT/Approval: Mountain Hardwear Phantom +15 Sleeping Bag - Peter Spiller

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  • phspiller
    Roger, Thanks for all the help on this Owner Review. I took your advice, and went through and edited the commas, and was surprised as to how much extraneous
    Message 1 of 2 , Mar 8, 2008
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      Roger,

      Thanks for all the help on this Owner Review. I took your advice, and
      went through and edited the commas, and was surprised as to how much
      extraneous punctuation I had added.

      I would like to explain my reasoning for the internal links, as I feel
      they are a valuable addition for many readers. While the links do
      nothing for someone who is reading the document in a linear fashion
      (as you indicated), the do not hurt the readability. The addition of
      HTML (internal links) to the document allows for so much more. I am
      one of those readers who does not often read reviews in a linear
      manner and use the links on the top of the page to get to the
      information I am most interested in. I usually read the field reports
      first, and often wonder what the conditions were like during the trip
      I am reading. I then scroll up to the field conditions section to get
      this info, and then scroll back to the field report. I then will then
      read the product description, and wonder how similar the tester is ,in
      dimension, to me. I will scroll to the bio section to find out. By
      anticipating these needs, and using internal links to make it easier
      to navigate a document in a non-linear manner while maintaining the
      linear formatting of the document, you will serve more readers.

      This is the beauty of the format of the reviews in backpackgeartest.org.


      Thank again for all the help.

      Peter




      --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "Roger Caffin" <r.caffin@...>
      wrote:
      >
      > EDIT/Approval: Mountain Hardwear Phantom +15 Sleeping Bag - Peter
      Spiller
      >
      > Hi Peter
      >
      > OK, pretty good. I have a couple of comments for you to consider, after
      > which you are clear to upload this OR to
      >
      http://www.backpackgeartest.org/reviews/Sleep%20Gear/Sleeping%20Bags/Mountain%20Hardwear%20Phantom%20%2015/
      >
      > You still have a few redundant commas scattered through the text.
      They don't
      > cause real problems, but perhaps you could go through the text and ask
      > yourself at each one whether it is really necessary. Very often it
      won't be.
      > (Common problem actually.)
      >
      > You use 'pull cord' in several places. This is OK, although I would
      have
      > written 'pull-cord' myself. This is a style issue and is entirely up
      to you
      > however: it is not an edit requirement.
      >
      > In the HTML under biography you have blank lines between each text
      line. It
      > would be nice if you could remove these. Ditto for Product
      Information, and
      > indeed in a few other places between sections. Again, this is
      'nice', not
      > 'required'.
      >
      > Personally, I question the need for the internal URLs under User
      Experience.
      > I am not sure they contribute anything as the reader will have
      already been
      > through the Field Locations section. Again, this is only a comment,
      not a
      > requirement. We are happy to have YOUR style in your ORs.
      >
      > > Its 800-fill power down in encased in
      > EDIT: is encased
      >
      > > interior of the bag features a down filled draft collar near the neck
      > Edit: down-filled
      >
      > Cheers
      > Roger Caffin
      > BGT EDitor
      >
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