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EDIT: Owner Review Black Diamond Powerstretch Gloves

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  • theMiddleSister@usaring.com
    Yi-Jien, I have been assigned to edit your Owner s Review. This appears to be your very first review, so I ll try to go easy on you! ;) Writing for BGT takes
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 29, 2008
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      Yi-Jien,

      I have been assigned to edit your Owner's Review. This appears to be
      your very first review, so I'll try to go easy on you! ;) Writing for
      BGT takes practice and you needn't be discouraged by the editing
      process.

      You might want to check in with the BGT mentoring program where eager
      volunteers will help you master the process of writing ORs, applying
      for tests and writing test reports. You will get experienced guidance
      which will make the OR, application and test reporting processes a
      lot easier on you and the editors/test monitors. It's a great
      program and I really think it would be helpful for you to contact
      Jenn E at mentor@... before proceeding.

      If you would rather not use the mentoring program, I will work with
      you in a couple of steps. This post will give you some basic edits
      first. When you have made these initial edits (or contacted and
      worked with a mentor), I would like you to REPOST your OR to the
      list. When you repost, make sure that you have in the subject
      line "REPOST: Owner Review - Product Name - Your Name". Your name and
      the manufacturer's name always needs to be in
      the subject line for reviews, reports, edits, etc.

      First off, you need to upload your HTML file to the Owner Review test
      folder so the editor can check out your HTML. When you post and
      repost, you must put a link in the e-mail to that file location so
      the editor can view the uploaded file. This link should always be
      posted in your ORs first thing so the editors can check the HTML at
      the same time as the text.

      My list of edits follows. Let me know if you don't understand
      anything I've written.

      Conventionally the following terms are used in the editing process:
      EDIT: you must fix this to comply with BackpackGearTest standards
      [because the Editor says so!]
      Edit: you should seriously consider fixing this in some way [unless
      you seriously object with good reason]
      Comment: usually just that, although you might want to make a change
      of some sort as a result.

      Please e-mail me when you have made the edits and have uploaded the
      file with your pictures to the test folder. At that time, I'll check
      out the HTML and, if all is OK, give you the go ahead to upload.
      Please use "REPOST" when you report the plain text of your corrected
      OR to the list.

      Kathy Waters
      BGT OR Editor
      ________________________________________________________

      > I backpacked a few times in high school and college, but only got
      > "into it" (ok, I'm a little obsessed) in the last few months. I'm a
      > busy seminary student, but whenever we can, Siu Yin (my wife) and I
      > hike in Kentucky's Red River Gorge. We have a lot of trips planned
      > next year, including leading a bunch of youth for a week-long trip,
      > and several week-longs and weekends in various national parks next
      > August. Being relatively new, we're still figuring out all the ropes
      > and trying to cut our weight, but right now I normally pack between
      > 40-55lbs, and Siu Yin does 30-35.
      EDIT: Bios must be 100 words or less. You only need to delete 8
      words here, not bad! I suggest you start with "and Siu Yin does 30-
      35). Since it is YOUR bio, it's not relevant. Also, you need the
      metric conversion for your 40-55 lb.

      > Measured Weight: 4 oz (?? g)
      EDIT: You need the metric conversion.

      >They are made from midweight
      > Polartec powerstretch, which is the same stuff Patagonia uses for
      > Capilene 4.
      EDIT: Other manufacturers are not mentioned by name.
      Change "Patagonia" to "other manufacturers" or something like that.

      > The first pair I used, which was a medium, had no
      > problems whatsoever, but after deciding that it was too small and
      > exchanging it with REI by mail for a large, I had some minor
      problems.
      EDIT: Ditto for naming retailers. Remember you are not reviewing
      the store. Just change "REI" to "a retailer".

      > I have used these gloves in temperatures from the teens to the
      > seventies, in long treks in Isle Royale, the Great Smokey Mountains,
      > and Hawaii Volcanoes (till they developed a hole--more on that
      later),
      > on shorter hikes in the Red River Gorge, as well as on an almost
      daily
      > basis during the Fall and Winter and found these gloves to be great
      > performers.
      EDIT: Whoa! That is one long sentence! Please re-word and break it
      up into two or three of sentences. I'd leave the whole "till they
      developed..." out. You need metric conversions for your
      temperatures. If you use words, as you did here, you still need to
      indicate you are referring to temperatures measured Fahrenheit and
      then put the metric equivalent in also. Do you mean "Hawaii
      Volcanoes National Park"? If so, please write out the whole name.

      > <<HYPERLINK GOES HERE - "http://www.bdel.com/gear/powerstretch.php"
      > LINK TEXT = "Black Diamond">>
      EDIT: You need to delete this link. BGT does not allow such links.
      Only the manufacturer's home page link is allowed so dead link don't
      develope in the ORs or test reports when a manufacturer "moves
      around" or deletes one of their pages.

      conservatively rates these gloves at
      > -2/7 C or 30/40 F (though I'm not sure whethe they mean while
      > exercising, or while resting).
      EDIT: The correct spelling is "whether"

      While they are not the warmest gloves
      > worn on their own, as long as you keep moving while hiking/packing,
      I
      > think these gloves are warm enough for temperatures down to mid
      teens
      > to low 20s (about -12 to -5 C).
      EDIT: Ah, the dreaded "you" word! Please change to "I" to reflect
      your own experiences and not projection onto the reader. Also,
      please add "Fahrenheit" to your temperatures.

      Despite temperatures that dropped into
      > the teens at night and in the early morning, I found these gloves
      were
      > the way to go while packing in the Smokies.
      EDIT: Temperature conversions needed.

      They provided whole-day
      > comfort, except at night, when I would pull on my Snowlines--except
      > for more delicate camp chores like bear-bagging where it was way too
      > cold for these gloves, but they were way better than nothing.
      Edit: This sentence is too long and very confusing. Can you please
      break it up? Also, leave out the brand name "Snowlines".

      Even my
      > perennially cold-digited wife reports that as long as she stayed
      > moving, she never found her hands to be cold.
      EDIT: Delete this sentence. The OR is to reflect your experiences.

      My OR Snowline are
      > wearable with these liners (though your mileage may vary, they are
      not
      > for my wife), but I found that they are too constricting together,
      and
      > that the additional insulation does not make up for the loss of
      > circulation.
      EDIT: Delete references to your wife - it's your review only. Also,
      refer to your other mittens or gloves as just that "my usual pair of
      mittens/gloves are wearable..."

      (An additional note: I think it is a feature of
      > insulation in general, but if you are either doing something
      > low-aerobic like driving a car, or are on a shorter trip, these
      gloves
      > will equally keep in the cold for awhile. Once you move a little,
      > these babies warm up real fast however.)
      EDIT: Projection here. You need to eliminate the word "you" from
      your OR vocabulary.

      > While hiking in Isle Royale, I was getting blisters with my
      improvised
      > walking stick, so I pulled them on in day temperatures in the high
      50s
      > to low 70s (15-21 C) and voila, no more blisters and comfortable and
      > dry hands.
      EDIT: You need to add "F" or "Fahrenheit".

      In terms of the upper limit of the comfort range of these
      > gloves, I found them comfortable while hiking in the 60s (15-20
      > C)--once it reached the low to mid 70s (22-24 C) they began to get
      > hot.
      EDIT: You need to add "F" or "Fahrenheit". OK, I'm not going to
      continue to post this edit. Any where you have a measurement, you
      must have a corresponding abbreviation and a metric conversion.

      > These gloves are supposed to be wind-resistant (according to
      > <<HYPERLINK GOES HERE - "http://www.rei.com/product/741972" LINK
      TEXT
      > = "REI">> at least), but they use that term rather loosely as you
      will
      > feel anything more significant than a puff.
      EDIT: Delete the link and unless the manufacturer, on either their
      website or the glove labels, says they are wind-resistant, delete the
      whole sentence. If they are, in fact, reported to be wind-resistant,
      keep the sentence, but re-word to avoid "you" and projection. Make
      the sentence reflect your own experiences.

      With significant wind however, be warned that they chill very
      > very fast, so keep your breaks short, or your shell gloves handy.
      EDIT: Re-word to elimenate "your".

      > Any glove will limit your ability to use your fingers somewhat.
      EDIT: Re-word to eliminate "your".

      > However, with adequate patience and dexterity I think that most
      should
      > be able to do virtually any camp chore in these gloves.
      EDIT: OK, you didn't use "you" but you are still projecting here by
      telling the reader what they should be able to do. In an OR, you
      can't do that. You can only relate your own experience with the
      product.

      The cow
      > leather is sticky, and nice if you had something slippery to hang on
      > to. As you might expect, the grip of the fingers is just ok as the
      > material is a bit slippery, but it works fine for most tasks. In
      > warmer temperatures, you may find that it is faster to take them off
      > and do your laces. It would be nice to have an all-leather grip, but
      > you would compromise comfort on the fingers a little, but still
      > something that Black Diamond should consider perhaps.
      EDIT: PROJECTION. You need to re-word this whole section to reflect
      your own experience.

      Siu Yin's pair is better, for
      > whatever reason--possibly she's just gentler!
      EDIT: Delete.

      I've only washed these
      > gloves 2 or 3 times, so you might hope for better.
      EDIT: Projection.

      After another year
      > or so of use, the piling will certainly only get worse.
      EDIT: Ditto, projection. It probably will get worse, but you don't
      know for sure.

      These gloves are so good
      > however, that I am returning mine to REI for a new pair in the hope
      > that the next pair lasts a little longer.
      EDIT: Change "REI" to "the retailer" or "the store".

      I notice that Black Diamond also sells two
      > other versions with thicker and thinner Powerstretch: Inner Core,
      and
      > Thinner Core--as well as a windblocking fleece glove, the Jetstream,
      > so I'm sure one of those will fit your needs.
      EDIT: You can mention the other models, but you can't tell the
      reader that one of them will fit your needs. Projection.

      We tried like10
      > different liner-type gloves at REI and we liked these best.
      EDIT: "REI", again. Also, change "we" to "I" to reflect your own
      experiences.

      However,
      > when buying these kind of things I have to say that there is no
      > substitute for going to the store and trying them on (even if you go
      > home and buy them online).
      Edit: I think you should delete the whole "(even if...) part. But
      if you decide to leave it, re-word so you are not projecting.





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