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Edit/Approval - OR - Columbia Steens Crew - Andrew Buskov

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  • rayestrella1
    Hi Andrew, Nice job on the review. (I grabbed this for you before Pam saw it …) You know the drill. After making the edits go ahead and place it here;
    Message 1 of 8 , Mar 29, 2007
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      Hi Andrew,

      Nice job on the review. (I grabbed this for you before Pam saw it …)
      You know the drill. After making the edits go ahead and place it here;

      http://tinyurl.com/2gcl3e

      Ray


      (You need you name in the subject line please.)


      ***My hiking season starts early September and ends early June.

      Comment: in light of your recent applications don't you think that
      this should be modified?


      ***Product Description:

      Edit: as a vet and a Mentor I would think that you could go into much
      more detail with your description. What does the fabric feel like? Is
      it rough to the touch? Smooth, silky? Are the seams raised? Are they
      flat? Are the seams straight over the shoulder or offset to avoid
      rubbing? Any gussets, or is it traditional construction? This is
      where the tag-less label should be mentioned.


      ***In addition to the local use, probably half the 15 time I've worn
      this

      EDIT: times


      ***have been during day hikes and backpacking trips. While the day
      hikes

      EDIT: day-hikes


      ***around town are probably the lowest elevation I have warn this
      shirt,

      EDIT: I have "worn" this shirt


      ***the highest elevation occurred on my 4 day hike the Smokys.

      EDIT: "4-day" hike "in" the "Smokies" (or, the "Smokey Mountains")


      ***as well as the sizing information and the manufacturers location.

      EDIT: manufacturer's


      ***The warming abilities of this shirt is only surpassed by its
      comfort.

      EDIT: ability, or replace "is" with "are"


      ***but it may not be right for everyone else out there.

      EDIT: you should leave this out and keep it to what is good for you.
      Projection, you know?
    • Andrew Buskov
      ... Thanks Ray... But you could have kept that off list. Now I m haunted for life :-P ... Agreed.... global warming is making it tough for me to find colder
      Message 2 of 8 , Mar 29, 2007
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        > (I grabbed this for you before Pam saw it .)
        Thanks Ray... But you could have kept that off list. Now I'm haunted for
        life :-P


        > ***My hiking season starts early September and ends early June.
        >
        > Comment: in light of your recent applications don't you think that
        > this should be modified?
        Agreed.... global warming is making it tough for me to find colder weather
        here.


        > ***around town are probably the lowest elevation I have warn this
        > shirt,
        >
        > EDIT: I have "worn" this shirt
        You know... I changed that twice, I don't know why it isn't staying changed.

        > ***but it may not be right for everyone else out there.
        >
        > EDIT: you should leave this out and keep it to what is good for you.
        > Projection, you know?
        I see your point... I agree completely.


        I would like to talk in depth about the following section though:

        >
        > ***Product Description:
        >
        > Edit: as a vet and a Mentor I would think that you could go into much
        > more detail with your description. What does the fabric feel like? Is
        > it rough to the touch? Smooth, silky? Are the seams raised? Are they
        > flat? Are the seams straight over the shoulder or offset to avoid
        > rubbing? Any gussets, or is it traditional construction? This is
        > where the tag-less label should be mentioned.

        I'm wondering if I shouldn't title this a bit differently. Product
        Description doesn't seem to work for me. I answered a good deal of this
        information throughout the paper. My whole goal is to give a general
        description, more or less what the manufacturer states about it, then give
        detailed information throughout the paper. I'll definitely comment on the
        feeling of the fabric as I must have left that out. Can you help me come up
        with a better title than product description?

        AB
      • rayestrella1
        ... Hi Andrew, The problem is that a product description is a requirement for owner reviews and nitial reports. The way that I handle it (by no means the only
        Message 3 of 8 , Mar 29, 2007
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          --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "Andrew Buskov" <rescue@...>
          wrote:

          >I'm wondering if I shouldn't title this a bit differently. Product
          >Description doesn't seem to work for me. <Snip> Can you help me come
          >up with a better title than product description?

          Hi Andrew,

          The problem is that a product description is a requirement for owner
          reviews and nitial reports. The way that I handle it (by no means the
          only way, but it seems to work) is to thoroughly describe the item in
          the product description. Then in what I call the Observations (or
          review, etc.) I will touch on how those points work for me and what I
          feel about them.

          Example: If I was writing about a mustard yellow shirt that I was
          given by a company (it is true, OR maybe next fall) in the
          description I would just say it is yellow. Later in the observations
          I would mention that while I like the shirt the color is not my
          favorite as I look like a blob of French's on the mountain.

          Do you see what I am doing? The description paints the picture, the
          body of the review gives it color and life.

          I hope this glimpse into my head helped. And don't worry; mental
          sickness is not contagious…

          Ray
        • Andrew Buskov
          Ray, Thanks for the info. I m thinking that my titles are part of the problem. I knew this day would come. I ve been using the same style since I started.
          Message 4 of 8 , Mar 29, 2007
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            Ray,

            Thanks for the info. I'm thinking that my titles are part of the problem. I
            knew this day would come. I've been using the same "style" since I started.
            It's time for a new layout. I'm going to take a few days and rework my style
            completely. I'll resubmit for your edits and comments.

            Thanks man
            AB
          • rayestrella1
            ... problem. I m going to take a few days and rework my style ... I thought it was fine, just needed some more info. But if you want to redo it I will keep a
            Message 5 of 8 , Mar 30, 2007
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              --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "Andrew Buskov" <rescue@...>
              wrote:
              >
              > Ray,
              >
              > Thanks for the info. I'm thinking that my titles are part of the
              problem. I'm going to take a few days and rework my style
              > completely. I'll resubmit for your edits and comments.


              I thought it was fine, just needed some more info. But if you want to
              redo it I will keep a look-out for it.

              Ray
            • Andrew Priest
              ... Product Overview maybe. Andrew. Sir
              Message 6 of 8 , Mar 31, 2007
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                At 09:17 AM 30/03/2007, you wrote:
                > Can you help me come up
                >with a better title than product description?

                Product Overview maybe.

                Andrew. Sir
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