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EDIT: OR - SNOW PEAK TREK 900 - Eric Olsen

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  • TheMiddleSister
    Eric, I m your OR editor for this particular review. My list of edits/comments follows. Let me know if you don t understand anything I ve written.
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 29, 2007
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      Eric,

      I'm your OR editor for this particular review. My list of edits/comments follows. Let me know if you don't understand anything I've written.

      Conventionally the following terms are used in the editing process:

      EDIT: you must fix this to comply with BackpackGearTest standards [because the Editor says so!]
      Edit: you should seriously consider fixing this in some way [unless you seriously object with good reason]
      Comment: usually just that, although you might want to make a change of some sort as a result.

      First a general EDIT: You have a great start here and your HTML and pictures are just fine, but you need to flesh this OR out a bit. A good description of the cookset is needed in your review. Paint a picture for me so I can visualize the product. Remember the reader may have no idea of what this product looks like and your review has to spell out the details of this product. Make the product description a separate heading before your Field Use section. I know it might seem redundant (and a pita) but not all people read the spec list and a few people don't use graphics, so explain how the pieces fit together, the handles fold, color, logos, etc. - ok?

      Because of the lack of the Product Description, I'm asking you to please REPOST to the BGT list when you have made the additions/corrections. At that time, I'll check out the HTML again and, if all is OK, give you the go ahead to upload. Please remember to use "REPOST" when you report the plain text of your corrected OR to the list.

      Kathy Waters
      OR Editor

      Now on to the mostly minor edits:

      SNOW PEAK TREK 900
      EDIT: Please state what the product is in the Title; (Cook Set) otherwise the reader doesn't know what the review/report is on.

      >From then until I was 18 I spent about 14 nights a year, mostly in the summer. The last 10 years I have lived in Utah and have spent about 10 nights a year in all seasons.
      Edit: I hesitate to mention this since it wasn't brought up in your first OR and this is a copy of that OR, but when I read these two sentences I felt like they were incomplete. I realize the heading is "backpacking background", but I don't think it is overly redundant to add the word "backpacking" (hiking, camping, whatever) in each of these sentences. For example: "From then until I was 18, I spent about 14 nights a year backpacking, mostly in the summer. The last 10 years I have lived in Utah and have spent about 10 nights a year backpacking in all seasons." You have 13 words to spare in the mandatory "under 100 words" bio - using 2 won't put you over the limit :) - It is refreshing to not be having to cut the words down though

      Measured Weight: 6 oz (170 g) mesh carrying case 5.5 oz (156 g) without case
      EDIT: Please change so the weight with and without the carrying case are clearer. FOR EXAMPLE:
      6 oz (170 g) with mesh carrying case; 5.5 oz (156 g) without case
      6 oz (170 g) w/mesh carrying case; 5.5 oz (156 g) wo/case
      6 oz (170 g) with mesh carrying case/5.5 oz without case OR SOME VARIATION

      Though field conditions have had no noticeable effects on the performance of the pot they are included for thoroughness.
      COMMENT: I like that you mentioned this!

      The pot is the large enough for ultralight needs and is also a perfect size to fit a compressed fuel canisters fit inside.
      EDIT: Extra "fit" between "canisters" and "inside". "Canisters" should not be plural - only one will fit inside, no?

      (elevation 8559 feet (2609 m))
      Edit: Abbreviate "feet" for consistency with other abbreviated measurements.

      16 and 12 miles
      EDIT: Need metric conversions and Edit: consider abbreviating "miles" for consistency

      On the two trip the pot performed flawlessly.
      EDIT: Change "trip" to the plural "trips".

      I have cooked sausages on the lit/fry pan
      EDIT: Change "lit" to "lid".

      Some thing that make this pot great
      EDIT: Change "thing" to the plural "things" since you mention more than one "thing".

      I can fit my MSR PocketRocket inside as well if I leave behind the PocketRockets's case:
      EDIT: Change "PocketRockets's" to "PocketRocket's".

      * Titanium costs more than other materials - but then again is sure is good stuff.
      EDIT: Change the first "is" to "it".


















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