EDIT: OWNER REVIEW - Outward Hound Dog Backpack - Lindsay Dusi
- Welcome Lindsay!
Here are the edits for your owner review. Basically EDIT
means "must do" and SUGGESTION means something I would like to see
done to improve the readability of the report. COMMENT means just
Once you have made the necessary corrections, please repost the
report to this list, using the title:
REPOST: Owner Review Outward Hound Dog Backpack Lindsay Dusi.
Please do be sure to spell check and proofread before reposting.
Once you've reposted, I'll take another look to see if any
additional edits are needed, and if not, will ask that an HTML
version be uploaded to the Owner Review test folder for final
Outward Hound Dog Backpack
EDIT: You need "Owner Review" in the title.
EDIT: The preferred location for the date is directly following the
title. (Currently this isn't written anywhere, but we are trying to
start conformance now. It will be in the new "Survival Guide".)
Name: Lindsay Dusi
Age: 21 (born 1985)
EDIT: Only your age is necessary, not the year of birth.
EDIT: Need metric conversion. A handy conversion chart is located
EDIT: Need metric conversion, space after 135, and the preferred
abbreviation is "lb" without the "s".
Email address: Realdusi@...
EDIT: Yahoo shortens the e-mail address to make it unreadable as an
anti-spamming measure as I understand it, so most of us write it out
in some way, such as this example of mine: pamwyant(at)yahoo(dot)
com. That way we can read it but it isn't picked up and shortened
City, State, Country: Saint Petersburg, FL, USA
Date: 24 April 2006
Backpacking Background: I am still a backpacking novice, with only a
few day hikes and a week long excursion under my belt. I have hiked
day hikes in parts of Georgia near Blood Mountain and Brasstown
Bald, and also in Florida.
SUGGESTION: "I have hiked day hikes" sounds a bit repetitive. You
might use "I have day-hiked in parts "
COMMENT: I just came back from an AT trip in Georgia where I hiked
Blood Mountain. What a beautiful area!
EDIT: It looks like you have a period after Brasstown Bald which
should be a comma.
SUGGESTION: You could leave out the "also" "I have day-hiked in
parts of Georgia near Blood Mountain and Brasstown Bald, and in
I did a week on the Florida Trail. I am
now planning and training for the Appalachian Trail. I started
backpacking about two years ago, and would consider myself a
lightweight backpacker in training. I try to practice many light
weight tactics, however will not sacrifice safety or comfort for the
sake of weight.
SUGGESTION: To avoid using "lightweight" and light weight so close
together, which sounds slightly repetitive, you could change it up a
bit. "I started backpacking about two years ago and would consider
myself a lightweight backpacker in training. I try to practice many
weight saving tactics, however "
I am often found hiking and backpacking with the
companion or Wiley.
EDIT: Something seems to be incorrectly worded or missing here. Do
you hike with a human companion? Or do you mean hiking and
backpacking with Wiley as a companion? Please re-word appropriately
to convey the correct meaning.
Weight: 15 lbs
Breed: Chihuahua mix from the Humane Society
Date: 24 April 2006
EDIT: No need to repeat the date.
Backpacking Background: Wiley is Lindsay's traveling companion and
has tackled trails in Vogel State Park in Georgia, and the Florida
Trail. He's a chihuahua mix with a bundle of energy and drive to
keep on truckin'.
EDIT: No need to re-state that he is a Chihuahua mix since it is
listed directly above. Just re-word as you choose to reflect that
he is high energy and enjoys hiking with you.
EDIT: You need a heading here for "Product Information"
Manufactured by the Kyjen Company
EDIT: You need the year of manufacture and the measured weight of
the dog pack. Also you need a listed weight if that is given by the
manufacturer, and if not, state so. It would also be preferred if
you could give some measurements of the pack, such as length,
height, and approximate width.
The dog backpack was a small, ordered through an online website.
SUGGESTION: The dog backpack was a *size* small.
features a harness with the quick release pack feature.
SUGGESTION: It features a harness with *a* quick release pack
padded buckle covers, and velcro which holds the pack itself firmly
to the harness.
EDIT: If it is the name brand product, Velcro, it should be
capitalized. If it is not the name brand product, use "hook and
It has a quick release leash holder, and two zipper
pouches on either side.Each pouch has a key holder hook, and a mesh
EDIT: two *zippered* pouches
Also, You need spaces after side.
Two straps attach the pack under the dog, while it
also has a chest buckle.
EDIT: under the dog, *and* it also
The top of the pack has a bungee cord for
lashing items to the top.
SUGGESTION: drop the "to the top" at the end, as it sounds
When I first recieved the item, I immediatly put the harness, minus
the backpack, on my dog to try to get him used to the pack.
EDIT: spelling of *received* and *immediately*
first thing I noticed which disappointed me, was the fact that the
padded buckle covers that the website raved about were inefficient
at padding. They were stiched onto the straps on one side and
frequently slipped out of place never really padding the buckles.
EDIT: Spelling of *stitched*
SUGGESTION: The above is worded a bit awkwardly. Some simple
changes would make it more readable maybe something along the
lines of "The first thing I noticed, which disappointed me, was that
the padded buckle covers mentioned on the website were inefficient.
They were stitched onto the straps on one side only and frequently
slipped out of place, leaving the buckles unpadded.
After the dog got used to the harness I velcroed pack on..
EDIT: I *attached the pack* or other similar wording. "velcroed"
isn't really a word.
velcroed on the sides, top, and then a buckle held the pack securely
to the harness.
EDIT: The pack fastened with *Velcro* (or hook and loop as the case
may be) on the sides *and* top. Also, specify where the buckle
It seemed to disperse pack weight along his
shoulder's, spine, and mid back.
EDIT: *shoulders* (no apostrophe)
I read somewhere that this isn't
safe for a dog, but knew I wasn't going to overload him on weight so
I didn't think it'd matter.
EDIT: I'm a little puzzled by this. Can you quote where you read
the information? Where is pack weight supposed to be dispersed to
be safe? Pretty much all dog packs I've seen have the weight in the
shoulder and mid-back areas, and the manual that came with my dog
pack states "When properly loaded the leading edge of the pack will
be over your dog's shoulders". Unless there is something I don't
understand here, this should be removed. Also "it'd" is not a
normal contraction and should be changed to *it would* in the event
you have a specific source to quote that dispersing pack weight
along a dog's shoulders, spine, and mid back is not safe.
I noticed that even an empty pack didn't
sit evenly on the harness. I was a little disappointed, but kept
working with my dog to get used to it.
EDIT: working with my dog to get *him* used to it.
The pockets weren't very
deep, but very long.
EDIT: but *were* very long. (Or change the sentence about to
read "The pockets were very long, but not very deep.")
The mesh pocket dividers were useless, not tall
enough to keep items from spilling over from one section to another.
SUGGESTION: I would prefer seeing this worded "I found the mesh
pocket dividers useless, since they were not tall enough " so that
it reflects this is your experience. It is possible others would
find them useful somehow.
Another option I was disappointed with was the quick release leash
holder and the bungee cord on top for lashing items. Because both
items were on top, you could only use one feature at a time. If you
stashed your leash up there, there was no room to lash items on the
top. If you did lash items, you covered up the leash holder.
EDIT: We avoid using the word "you" since it causes what we
term "projection". We try to use words to describe our own
experience instead. So, you will need to do a little re-writing
here. "Because both items were on top, *I* could only use one
feature at a time. If *I* stashed *my* leash etc.
leash holder however quickly unthreaded and fell off, so that solved
the problem of what feature I was going to use! I started to load up
the pack with a small amount of weight, no more than a pound total.
No matter how I tried to evenly balance the pockets, the pack kept
slipping from one side to the other as the dog moved. The dog was so
freaked out by the extreme shifting of the weight, that he never got
used to the pack. After a two months of trail runs at home, I
finally decided to give up on this pack and shop around for another
EDIT: remove "a" following "After". Also, do you mean "trail runs"
or *trial runs*? Either one is okay and both make sense, I just
want to make sure it isn't a typo.
EDIT: You need some specific information on locations the pack was
used in. Weather conditions, temperature, altitude, terrain, etc.
Features I liked:
I liked the quick release velcro option. Even though it didn't sit
right, and ripping the velcro off scared the pants off my dog, I
thought it was a great feature in theory.
EDIT: *Velcro* or *hook and loop* depending on whether the product
is the name brand or not.
Features I didn't like:
There's a lot I don't like about the pack. It had a lot of useless,
features (buckle covers that didn't work, mesh pocket dividers,
quick release leash holder)
EDIT: remove comma after useless, add period at the end.
I also didn't like the way the pack fit the dog.
Comment: The above sentence is fine.
It dispersed weight
along the dog's spine, and mid back which may be fine for lighter
weights, but is something I'm not willing to take a chance on.
EDIT: Again, unless there is a specific, reliable authority that
verifies weight should not be dispersed along the dog's spine and
mid back, this part needs removed.