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  • edwardripleyduggan
    Hello Jeff, This is a fairly presentable first OR, but (as you will see from the edits) it falls short of what we need in certain regards. I d like to suggest
    Message 1 of 3 , Mar 1, 2006
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      Hello Jeff,

      This is a fairly presentable first OR, but (as you will see from the
      edits) it falls short of what we need in certain regards. I'd like to
      suggest that you consider a BGT mentor. Please contact
      jennifer.pope@..., with "Mentor Request" in the subject line,
      and ask her to secure you some mentoring assistance. I can work with
      you via the edit process, but my concern is that you will find it
      frustrating. There's certainly a second round of lesser edits needed
      here. Still, if you decide not to go with a mentor, resubmit to this
      list with "REPOST" substituted for "EDIT" in the subject line.

      I'd like to point you to the BGT converter, if you haven't found it.
      It's at


      Please look at the footnotes to this page carefully; they are very
      useful for getting metric units correct.



      BGT OR Editor

      > Mountain Hardwear Confluence Parka

      Heading should read:

      Owner Review. Mountain Hardwear Confluence Parka.

      February 19, 2002

      > Reviewer Information
      > Name: Jeff McLaughlin
      > Age: 24
      > Gender: Male
      > Height: 5'10" (1.56 Meters)

      ### EDIT: for uniformity, units should be abbreviated. In this case,
      (1.56 m)

      > Weight: 178 Pounds (81 Kilograms)

      ### EDIT: 178 lb (81 kg)

      > Email address: jeffm@...
      > City, State, Country: Apopka, FL US.
      > Date: February 19, 2002

      ### EDIT: Date can be removed from here, as it is now at the top

      > Backpacking Background: I started backpacking in the past year and
      > have been working towards traveling as light as possible. I
      > normally hike in areas that are full of running hills or lower
      > elevation mountains, generally with a lot of leaf or sand cover. I
      > would consider myself a 3 season hiker, seldom encountering snow.

      ### EDIT: three-season

      Helpful here would be an idea of your average load, as "as light as
      possible" is open to variable interpretation.

      > Product Information
      > Manufacturer: Mountain Hardwear
      > Year of Manufacture: Fall 2005
      > URL: http://www.mountainhardwear.com/
      > Listed weight: 2 Pounds 1 Ounces (.95 Kilograms)

      ### EDIT: abbreviate units, please

      > Size: Men's M (39-41)
      > MSRP: $230
      > • Ascent Nylon with Conduit™ laminated membrane provides a
      > soft feel with rugged strength, while staying light weight,
      > waterproof and breathable.
      > • Nylon Dobby Weave reinforcements for added protection.
      > • Coolmax® Mesh with Taffeta lining in sleeves for added
      > comfort.
      > • Zip in compatible with compatible jackets
      > • One handed hood, waist, and hem drawcords.
      > • Welded, water resistant pit zips.
      > • Powder skirt, and elasticized draw cord at waist.
      > • Zip off hood
      > • Welded fleece lined hand pockets with water resistant zips.
      > • Two welded chest pockets with water resistant zips.
      > • Double flapped front zipper closure.
      > • Interior water bottle pocket and zip security pocket.
      > • Laser cut, welded zip construction

      ### EDIT: While it's OK to quote manufacturer claims and descriptions,
      which I'm assuming is what the above section comprises, we really need
      an "in your own words" description of the garment. Any of the
      manufacturer claims should be evaluated in the body of the review
      (e.g. are the zips water resistant, the drawcords indeed capable of
      being used with one hand)? The functionality of any features should
      also be touched upon, where possible (obviously, if you have not used
      the powder skirt, for example, you can't comment on whether it works
      well). This section doesn't need to be hugely technical, or overly
      detailed, but it should aptly summarize the item's construction, etc.
      If feasible, a photo is often handy to help reinforce the description.

      ### EDIT: Also lacking here is a section describing the conditions
      under which you have used the parka. Temperatures (with Centigrade
      conversions), elevations (with conversions), terrain, weather. It's
      hard for a reader whether your use coincides with their own, and
      therefore if your review is useful to them, without this very critical
      information. Call it "Field conditions" or something of the kind.

      > A very versatile weatherproof parka, that is virtually
      > indestructible, reinforced in critical areas with Nylon Dobby Weave
      > fabric. The Confluence parka offers the option of zipping in
      > compatible fleece jackets for those who prefer the convenience of
      > putting on a single layer at times. Great for snow sports, cold
      > weather backpacking, mountaineering.

      ### EDIT: This is partly a question. The text above reads a little bit
      like the manufacturer's. If it is, please put this in your own words.
      If it isn't a quote, could you rewrite it so these are full sentences,

      > I began using the Confluence Parka roughly 4 months ago out of
      > frustration with other layering systems I'd tried. As mentioned in
      > my bio, I backpack light, which often times isn't conducive to a
      > heavier nylon parka. Prior to using the Confluence parka, my
      > primary cold weather protection came in the form of a Mountain
      > Hardwear Chugach jacket with Polarguard insulation. Similar to
      > down, Polarguard differs in that it does not shift inside of the
      > seams as down often will. I began using the Confluence because of
      > the expectation that the Chugach would simply not hold up in the
      > conditions I planned to backpack in (the Confluence shell is made of
      > a nice durable nylon, while the Chugach has a much thinner rip-stop
      > nylon). Since making the change I have been on many trips in the
      > southeast and have been extremely pleased with the parka.
      > Although the Confluence has the capability of zipping in a
      > compatible fleece, I prefer to use a performance base-layer like an
      > Icebreaker Tech Top (Merino Wool), which is lighter than fleece but
      > performs (in my opinion) much better. The beauty of the Confluence
      > is that a combination like this will keep you very warm, even in 10-
      > 20 degree weather!

      ### EDIT: Conversions needed here (Centigrade)

      It is nice to know that if down the line I chose
      > to zip something in there is the freedom to do that…an advantage the
      > Confluence brings over other comparable Mountain Hardwear parkas,
      > such as the Exposure II. I haven't explored this option, but I
      > wouldn't be surprised to learn that some of the Columbia Sportswear
      > fleeces are zip-in compatible as well, given that Mountain Hardwear
      > is ultimately owned by Columbia.

      ### EDIT: Two issues here. The second sentence above is largely
      conjecture. I would also, since you aren't reviewing the Exposure II
      here, like you to drop the balance of the first sentence after the ...

      All that to say, this thing does a
      > great job of maintaining warmth.
      > As mentioned before I have taken this jacket all over the southeast
      > and I should also add that as a minimalist, it's now the only outer
      > layer that I own, which means it gets it's

      ### EDIT: its

      wear! Trips aside, I
      > have worn this jacket most of the winter (on a daily basis) but
      > you'd never know it. I've washed it several times without
      > consequence and I've been extremely impressed with the durability of
      > the fabric and the zippers. It's been poked hard by very sharp tree
      > limbs and branches, brushed up hard against rocky terrain (including
      > caving), weathered heavy thunder storms (it claims to be waterproof
      > and I'm sold—I'll vouch for that!) and has survived all the
      > stretching, pulling, tugging and washing I have thrown at it. I
      > would even go as far to say that I've tried to find fault with the
      > toughness of this jacket and have really gone out of my way to try
      > and prove it "unworthy". Each time it has shown itself to be
      > everything it claimed to be: "indestructible". Now, is it the best
      > out there? Probably not; but I found mine for around $180 on a
      > sale. I would have spent twice that on a parka with Gore-Tex and
      > for my lifestyle and preferences I seriously doubt I'd ever see the
      > difference. I'd rather spend that extra money on other gear…maybe
      > I'm the only one who's figured that out!

      ### EDIT: "Now, is it the best..." to the end of this paragraph
      doesn't really add information to the review, and should be omitted.
      Retail or "street" price is so wildly variable (as you found) we use
      only the MSRP in the introduction. It's about the gear, not the price.
      You could certainly say that you feel this comparable to a Gore-Tex
      parka and that it is a more economical option, though... That's a fair
      and useful statement.

      > A little advice on fit…

      ### EDIT Omit this

      Mountain Hardwear is funny sometimes with
      > their fit. I fit into a men's size medium when it comes to their
      > shells, but some of the base layers and active wear are actually too
      > small in that same size. All that to say, don't rely necessarily on
      > the sizing charts they publish; if you're planning to buy online
      > somewhere, find a retail store and try on everything you're thinking
      > about buying!

      ### EDIT: Please change this to first person (I, me, mine). We want an
      account of *your* experience, not an extrapolation of what someone
      else may experience with Mountain Hardwear's sizing.

      > Summary
      > The Confluence is an excellent parka extremely durable and built to
      > last. Mountain Hardwear really spent some time in the design
      > process of the jacket and it shows. They've done a great job using
      > high-end fabrics and materials without passing on an unreasonably
      > high cost to the customer. Spending more would get you

      ### EDIT: lose the "you," please

      a parka
      > featuring Gore-Tex waterproofing and fabric, but I was very pleased
      > with the proprietary Conduit fabric that Mountain Hardwear uses.
      > Couple that with the lifetime warranty against defects and I feel
      > confident that this is a parka I will use for years to come.
      > Things I like:
      > 1. Extremely durable.
      > 2. Very nice fit.
      > 3. Removable hood (for fall and spring use).
      > 4. Zip-in compatibility with Mountain Hardwear softshells.
      > Things I don't like:
      > 1. I am not a big fan of powder skirts. I understand their purpose
      > but I generally find that on a lot of parkas they get in the way.
      > The Confluence is no exception. I have become accustomed to it, but
      > thought it was worth mentioning.
      > 2. Use of Velcro on the double flap front zip. It probably
      > functions better than buttons would, but I generally prefer button
      > to parkas.
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