EDIT: MSR Alpine Classic Cookware Set - Jennifer Koles
- Jennifer, nice detail in your report. Here are your edits, and some
comments on a few paragraphs I would like to see changed a bit to
make the report read more smoothly.
> Backpacking Backgroundthe
> I started taking overnight backpacking trips this past summer in
> Uinta Mountain Range in Utah. I found myself taking entirely toonot
> much gear. I am finding out slowly how to minimize my needs and
> require extra luxuries. My previous outdoor experiences consistedof
> 4 wheel-drive camping in primitive areas and day hiking. I havesome
> backpacking gear I purchased over the past few years. I enjoyedmy
> backpacking experience this summer. I plan to take more trips,*Comment: This is a pretty good biography. I would suggest moving
> increase my duration, and reduce my pack weight from 45 lb.
a few things around and combining a couple of sentences to make it
read more smoothly. Example:
I started taking overnight backpacking trips this past summer in the
Uinta Mountain Range in Utah. I already owned some backpacking gear
I had purchased over the past few years. Although I enjoyed my
backpacking experience this summer, I found myself taking entirely
too much gear. I am finding out slowly how to minimize my needs and
not require extra luxuries. My previous outdoor experiences
consisted of 4 wheel-drive camping in primitive areas and day
hiking. I plan to take more trips, increase my duration, and reduce
my pack weight from 45 lb.
*EDIT: Also you need the metric conversion for 45 lb.
> Product Information*EDIT: leave out the "uncertain". Approximately 1999 is
> Manufacturer: MSR
> Year of Manufacture: uncertain approximately 1999
sufficient. Also, in your HTML version this is a short dash/line
over "Manufacturer" that needs removed.
> MSRP: $39.95 US currency (current retail price)*EDIT: "(current retail price)" isn't needed. MSRP (manufacturer's
suggested retail price) basically means the same thing.
> Field Informationvarious
> I have utilized this cookware set in the backcountry and at
> campsites over the past 6 years.climates
> From the Pacific Coast to the Wasatch Mountain Range at elevations
> from 15 ft-13,000 ft (4.6 m - 3962 m). In desert to mountain
> in temperature ranges from 90 F (32 C) to 40 F (4 C).*EDIT: Please make your location descriptions into complete
>To transport the cook set, I nest the cookware in the stuff sackwith my MSR >WhisperLite stove inside the smaller pot. When I
initially started using the cookware set >I did not even think about
placing my stove in the smaller pot. Now I try to fit whatever
>cookware items I can into the stuff sack with my cookware set andmy stove.
*Comment: This paragraph seems a bit repetitive. I suggest
combining the sentences somehow. Perhaps something like this:
When I initially started using the cookware set I didn't think about
saving space, but now I nest my MSR WhisperLite stove inside the
smaller pot and try to fit whatever other cookware items I can into
the stuff sack.
> I have dropped the cookware several times, too numerous for me toand
> count on various surfaces (rocks, concrete, tree stumps, gravel,
> the list goes on and on).*EDIT: I have dropped the cookware *too many times to count*
Looking at my cookware today it looks
> almost brand new. I do not see any dings in the set and just afew
> small scratches in the inside of one of the pots. Generally while*Edit/Comment: I suggest re-ordering this paragraph a bit to make
> cooking I use a wooden multi-purpose camp spoon, so this helps
> prevent scratching.
it read in a more logical sequence. Something along this order:
Generally while cooking I use a wooden multi-purpose camp spoon, so
prevent scratching, and looking at my cookware today it looks almost
brand new. There are just a few small scratches inside one of the
pots, but no dings or dents.
> While cooking if I have the gas turned up too high on my stoveto
> sometimes I will hear a popping sound from the pot. I have not
> noticed any warping of any sort due to this. I need to learn how
> better operate my stove.*Edit/Comment: Again, I suggest some re-ordering and sentence
combining to make the paragraph flow more logically, such as:
While cooking if I have the gas turned up too high on my stove
sometimes I will hear a popping sound from the pot. While this
makes me feel I need to learn to operate my stove better, I have not
noticed any warping of any sort due to this.
> The food appears to cook evenly in both the pots and the fry pan.EDIT: both *of* the pots
> This is partially due to the stainless steel surface. The cook setdoes not have a non->stick surface.
EDIT: Combine these sentences, since you already stated earlier in
your review the cook set does not have a non-stick surface. Such as:
This is partially due to the lack of a non-stick surface on the
>This problem can be resolved by boiling a little water in the potand then
> I scrape the food out with my multi-purpose camp spoon.EDIT: You change tense in this sentence. Either use: This problem
can be resolved by boiling a little water in the pot and then
scraping the food OR I resolve this problem by boiling a little
water in the pot and then I scrape
> The feature I like the most while using this cook set is thelip
> functionality of the PanHandler. It grabs onto the pot near the
> and enables you to lift the pot or the lid without gettingburned.
EDIT: and enables *me* or *the cook* to lift the pot. Avoid using
the word "you" which results in projection. Always write from your
perspective, not what others might do.
> It also makes this task easier than attempting to hold the potwith
> your hands.EDIT: Again, *my* hands or *the* hands instead of "your" hands.
To use the PanHandler you just open the handles enough
> to place it on the pot or the lid where you want to and then gripthe
> handles together with your hand.EDIT: Replace "you" and "your" as needed to reflect your personal
> The lid can beEDIT: *placed* instead of "paced"
> paced on the pot to keep the excess food warm for short periods of
> time (approximately 10 minutes). I use the lid placed on the potto
> decrease the amount of cooking time required to fully cook or heatup
> my food. This also enables me to save stove fuel.Comment: Again I suggest a little re-wording to make the paragraph
read more smoothly. Such as:
I use the lid placed on the pot to decrease the amount of cooking
time required to fully cook or heat up my food, enabling me to save
stove fuel. The lid can also be placed on the pot to keep excess
food warm for short periods of time (approximately 10 minutes).
> Things I do not like:EDIT: Sometimes cleanup (remove "the" before cleanup)
> · Sometimes the cleanup in the field can be difficult due to
> the stainless steel surface.
Once you've made the changes, please REPOST to this group and load
the new HTML version into the test folder.