EDIT: Petzl MYO 3 Headlamp - Chad Fike
- EDIT: Petzl MYO 3 Headlamp - Chad Fike
A good review. I've got some edits for you, but mostly they are small 'detail' things. We have some general conventions
such as avoiding the word 'you' or making recommendations, and I have flagged these cases for you. Sometimes the cases
are borderline, I agree, but they are good general rules which avoid arguments.
There is a bit of an unofficial convention some of us use:
EDIT: you must fix this
Edit: you should seriously consider fixing this
Comment: just that.
But feel free to challenge something if you think I have misunderstood. (But if I have, why have I?)
When you have made the changes, could you please REPOST here and put the html version in the Test / Owner Reviews folder
as well please, and let me know it's there. We do check it as well.
BGT OR Editor
> Height: 5’10” (1.77m)EDIT: 5' 10" (1.77 m) and 150 lb (68 kg)
> Weight: 150 lbs (68kg)
You need some spaces and no s on lb.
> City, State, Country: Oakland, MD, U.S.EDIT: foreigners won't know what MD stands for, so please spell it out.
Comment: a style issue, and therefore ignorable, but 'USA' seems more common these days.
> Backpacking Background: I have gone camping, usually very close to home,EDIT: we have a limit of 100 words for the bio, and yours reaches 111. But if you take out the sentence 'It seems to be
hard to find time and partners to take longer trips.' which is irrelevant anyhow to what you actually DO, you will be
> Listed weight- Headlamp =137g (4.83 oz.) + 4 AA batteries 100g =237gEDIT: just slightly confusing in text form, but if you change it to
'4 AA batteries (100 g)' or maybe '4 AA batteries @ 100 g' it will be much clearer.
EDIT: space between number and 'g' in all cases. So 137 g, etc.
Edit: you switch between imperial/metric and metric/imperial. It would be better if you could stick to one of the two
all the way through.
> All of my hiking experience with the light has been under fair conditions.Edit: I think you mean 'under fair weather conditions' here?
> around 5 F to 25 F( -15C to -3.88C)EDIT: you are only talking approximate temperatures here, so (-15 C to -4 C) would be right.
EDIT: spaces between the numbers and the C symbol.
EDIT: '25 F (-15C' - shift the spaces around.
> The light also has a 3 year guarantee.EDIT: it would be better to move this up to the Product Information I think?
> For backpacking, if you only plan on needingEDIT: we have a paranoia about 'projecting': saying what the reader might or should do. To avoid this we avoid the use
of 'you' and instead put it into the first person. I agree this case is minor, but it would be good practice to change
> a smaller LED only light. Most LED only lights do not require so manyEDIT: 'LED-only' (2 places) makes it a lot clearer.
> problem if you like to lay in bed and read.Edit: 'lie in bed'
> I would recommend this light to someone who wants an all purpose headlampEDIT: we also avoid making 'recommendations' per se. Instead we often discuss 'whether I would buy the item again'.
> I would not recommend this light to someoneEDIT: ditto.