Thank you for reposting your owner review. In the future please ADD the
word REPOST to the existing subject line so the editors can easily find
your message. (Your subject line was simply "REPOST".)
I would like you to look at my edits for this round, and please keep the
following things in mind. ALL units need a space after the numerical
value and before the unit indicator. All paragraphs should either be
indented or not, there seems to be some inconsistencies in your
formatting. Also watch for extra spaces in various places. And most
importantly, whenever you are describing a feature, or describing
conditions where you used the product, elaborate on what your experience
was. You need to validate what you are saying with actual experiences.
Don't be afraid to state the obvious.
You may also want to consult the Owner Review Checklist and the Quick
Start Guide at the following two links:
Once you have revised your review please post it to the list with the word
REPOST added to the subject line.
Thanks for all your hard work Dennis!
BGT Edit Moderator
[EDIT] I missed this last time, but owner reviews aren't really "tests",
so you should probably say "Reviewer's Biography" or "Personal Biography"
or "Biographical Information"
Height: 5ft 5in (165 cm)
[EDIT] Spaces: 5 ft 5 in (165 cm)
Weight: 163 lb (74kg)
[EDIT] Extra spaces, missing space: 163 lb (74 kg)
I started backpacking late in 2004 and have now been out 4 times and
covered 152 km on various types of terrain from beach to dense forest to
[EDIT] I missed this last time, but you need English units for 152 km.
RRP: $43.00 AU
[EDIT] Not sure what RRP is, but BGT only allows MSRP (Manufacturer's
Suggested Retail Price)
Weight: Using kitchen scales .61 lb (280 g) including chain,
Weight of protective case 0.088 lb (04 g)
[EDIT] See my previous edit. Fractions of pounds should be in ounces.
Also, you need a decimal in .04 g - although I think the conversion is
actually 40 g.
[COMMENT] See my previous comment: I would move the dimensional
information up to directly below the weight information.
Connection to gas bottle is of thread type and is of brass construction,
inner and outer rubber grommet seals.
[EDIT] See my previous edit: Add the words in brackets: Connection to
[a] gas bottle is of [a] thread type and is [made] of brass construction,
[with] inner and outer rubber grommet seals.
A hanging chain is connected to either side of the wire cage and is 50
inch (600m) in total length giving you 25 inch (300 mm) in clearance when
[EDIT] See my previous edit: I am guessing that your metric units are
correct, and your conversions are wrong, as 50 inches is rather long. (600
m is even longer!) How about 24 inches (600 mm) and 12 inches (300 mm).
Remember the spaces. (If it really is 50 inches long then talk about that
a little bit.)
The carry case comes in a green color and has a zip around the
top for removal of the lamp. Inside there is a plastic sleeve to keep its
shape and strength against crush. On the outer (side of the case) there is
a loop strap for attaching to a pack.
[EDIT] See my previous edit: Why is this paragraph indented? Say
"against being crushed."
The lamp has now been out on 3 treks and traveled 60 miles
(100k) over some rugged terrain. It has been operated out in the open and
also in shelters with temperature ranges from 86 F (30 C) to 43 f (6 C).
[EDIT] 43 f should be 43 F.
[EDIT] Can you explain HOW it has worked "out in the open and also in
shelters"? Does wind or rain affect it, etc?
It has a stainless steel top which prevents light from penetrating upwards
but also protects it from rain falling on the mantle.
[EDIT] This is a good description of the lamp configuration. How does it
work? Have you used it in the rain?
The lamp runs on a butane/propane mix and gives of adequate
light, you do need to keep the lamp low to the ground for best lighting
thus rendering the chain not necessary as you can carry the lamp by the
[EDIT] We try and avoid saying things like "you do need to" as you are
telling the reader what their experience will be, which is projecting. It
is just as easy to say "I have found that I need to", and "as I can carry
the lamp by the bottle."
With the lamp at full lamination it is possible to read by it and also
generates a little warmth.
[EDIT] "lamination" should be "illumination"
The lamp connection to the bottle is very strong and the
sealing o-rings are good.
[EDIT] Can you add something about this such as "I have carried it by the
fuel bottle, and by the lamp, and the connection has always remained
The lamp is coupled to a .46lb (210 g) nett weight screw on
canister 80% Butane 20% Propane.
[EDIT] Change .46 lb to 7.4 oz
[EDIT] nett should be net
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