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Halloween joke

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  • rosaleen43@aol.com
    Hi, Guys! Well, I don t often send out jokes to on-line groups, especially if they have any risque language, but this one bears repeating. In the spirit of
    Message 1 of 4 , Oct 31, 2003
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      Hi, Guys!

      Well, I don't often send out jokes to on-line groups, especially if they have
      any risque language, but this one bears repeating.

      In the "spirit" of the day! (Halloween here in the USA.)

      Cheers,

      Rosaleen

      A Ghastly Ghost Story:Hold on to your lug nuts... and take this one in
      stride. An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last
      of which had left his bodily

      systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the
      bathroom, he decided the

      latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with
      diarrhea and was

      embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of
      composure he jumped out

      of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.



      A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started
      yelling, cursing,

      and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and
      ended up with the soiled

      sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

      As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a
      hospital security

      guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the heck
      is going

      on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied:

      "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

      Happy Halloween




      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • tcoug7
      ... Thanks Roaleen, I loved it! Happy Halloween. Tim PS. I figure I ll send this joke too before Andrew catches up to us. It s so bad, it s funny... WAIT till
      Message 2 of 4 , Oct 31, 2003
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        --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, rosaleen43@a... wrote:
        > Hi, Guys!

        Thanks Roaleen, I loved it! Happy Halloween.

        Tim

        PS. I figure I'll send this joke too before Andrew catches up to us.
        It's so bad, it's funny...

        WAIT till you read #9!



        You've got to read all ten...

        1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
        The
        stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one
        carrion
        allowed per passenger."


        2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood
        and
        became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields
        and
        never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
        lesser of two weevils.


        3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a
        fire in
        the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak
        and
        heat it, too.


        4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides
        up to
        the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."


        5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
        canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.


        6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
        standing in
        the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
        an hour,
        the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But
        why?"
        they asked, as they moved off. " Because," he said, "I can't stand
        chess
        nuts boasting in an open foyer."


        7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
        to a
        family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
        Spain;
        they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to
        his
        birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that
        she
        wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
        responds, "They're
        twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."


        8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
        up a
        small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
        flowers from
        the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
        was
        unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
        He went
        back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
        florist
        hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
        "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their
        store,
        saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they
        did so,
        thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.


        9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
        which
        produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
        little,
        which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from
        bad
        breath. This made him ..what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) A
        super
        callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


        10. And finally, there was a person who sent ten different puns to
        friends,
        with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
      • Andrew Priest
        ... I have caught up and they are BAD :-) Andrew -- http://BackpackGearTest.org : The most comprehensive interactive gear reviews and tests on the planet
        Message 3 of 4 , Oct 31, 2003
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          At 11:00 PM 31/10/2003, you wrote:
          >--- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, rosaleen43@a... wrote:
          > > Hi, Guys!
          >
          >Thanks Roaleen, I loved it! Happy Halloween.
          >
          >Tim
          >
          >PS. I figure I'll send this joke too before Andrew catches up to us.
          >It's so bad, it's funny...

          I have caught up and they are BAD :-)

          Andrew

          --
          http://BackpackGearTest.org : The most comprehensive interactive gear
          reviews and tests on the planet


          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • rcaffin
          ... Pay that one. Cheers Roger Caffin
          Message 4 of 4 , Nov 1, 2003
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            Tim wrote:

            > 1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
            > The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only
            > one carrion allowed per passenger."
            Pay that one.

            Cheers
            Roger Caffin
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