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EDIT: HSSC Stream Hydration Pack Initial Report

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  • Mark Stiebel
    Hi Josh, Thanks for your extremely thorough initial report. Hopefully you can make the valve work properly for the rest of your test. I have included a few
    Message 1 of 3 , Jul 1, 2003
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      Hi Josh,

      Thanks for your extremely thorough initial report. Hopefully you can
      make the valve work properly for the rest of your test.

      I have included a few minor edits below, plus you might also want to
      think about breaking up some of the large paragraphs to increase
      readability a bit.

      -= Mark
      -= mark@...



      Size: 16" x 12" x 5" (From MFG website)

      ### Please include metric conversions. If you don't already have one,
      there is a great conversion tool available for download at:
      http://www.joshmadison.com/software/convert/
      Alternatively you can use BGT's online one at:
      http://www.backpackgeartest.org/convert.html

      The pack arrived via UPS carrier with no fanfare. Just a plain brown
      box.
      After opening the box, I found one Stream Pack ready for display.

      ### As most buyers will not receive their pack via UPS, it is probably
      only really worth mentioning the display packaging.

      just below the grab loop is the hydro-tube port. Placed
      in the middle of the pack allows the user to direct the tube over
      whichever
      shoulder they feel more comfortable using.

      ### This sentence might read a bit better with "...middle of the pack,
      it allows the..."

      Both straps have a reflective band at the shoulder straps most
      visible point.

      ### "...band the most visible point of each shoulder strap."


      The next feature is a nice one. HSSC calls it "Deluxe AirflowTsuspended
      mesh
      back".

      ### Need a space before "suspended"

      What that translates too is a taught piece of fabric connected to the
      top of the pack and the bottom where the waist belt is attached.

      ### "translates to" (not "too"). And "taut", not "taught"

      I find this zipper a little troublesome
      to operate. Due in part to the odd direction it has to travel, but also
      the
      flap that covers the zipper is bound with a rubber-band material to
      cinch
      the flap over the zipper.

      ### Hmmm.. How about:
      I find this zipper a little troublesome to operate, due in part to the
      odd direction it has to travel, but also because the flap that covers
      the zipper is bound with a rubber band material used to cinch the flap
      over the zipper.

      First, because it was extremely cumbersome to get it off, and second, if
      I ever experience a crash or fall

      ### Firstly because ... and secondly, if I ...


      I, of course, could be wrong, but

      ### I think the sentence reads better without the ", of course,". But
      then again, I, of course, could be wrong.

      I prefer a bladder that opens at the top, where the HSSC
      bladder has a large screw type closure cap side mounted in the upper
      part
      half of the bladder.

      ### I think this sentence needs a little rework. Maybe change the
      "where" to "whereas", and change it to "...bladder has a large cap
      mounted on the side of the upper half of the bladder"

      I decided to give a fill-up and head out for a walk.

      ### "give it a fill-up" or "I decided to fill it up..."

      dog treats, couple interesting toys, a candy bar and a power bar,

      ### Need an "of" after "couple"
    • Josh Dunning
      ... Thanks for the edits, I ve made them as I see fit, and added some more content regarding the side pockets. Don t know how I missed those! I ll upload it as
      Message 2 of 3 , Jul 1, 2003
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        --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "Mark Stiebel" <mark@f...>
        wrote:
        > Hi Josh,
        >
        > Thanks for your extremely thorough initial report. Hopefully you can
        > make the valve work properly for the rest of your test.
        >
        > I have included a few minor edits below, plus you might also want to
        > think about breaking up some of the large paragraphs to increase
        > readability a bit.
        >
        > -= Mark
        > -= mark@f...

        Thanks for the edits, I've made them as I see fit, and added some
        more content regarding the side pockets. Don't know how I missed
        those!

        I'll upload it as soon as the site's back up.

        J
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