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82740RE: [BackpackGearTest] EDIT/Approval - OR - Big Agnes Shovelhead Jacket - Kathy Waters

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  • Kathy Waters
    Apr 13, 2014
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      Thanks, Mike!  Made the corrections (phew that one sentence was a doozy – made it 3!) and uploaded the file.





      From: BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com [mailto:BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of mosack@...
      Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 8:29 AM
      To: BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com
      Subject: [BackpackGearTest] EDIT/Approval - OR - Big Agnes Shovelhead Jacket - Kathy Waters



      Hi Kathy,

      Looks like a pretty nice jacket. I might have to get one for my wife.

      Edits are in the usual format of

      EDIT - Must change

      edit - My recommended change if you agree

      comment - is just that.



      “Fittingly, I received the Big Agnes Shovelhead Hooded Jacket on a frigid morning that started out at -4.7 F (-20.4 C) - the high that day only rose to 14 F (-10 C)!”

      Edit – I think we generally round off the temperatures to reflect whole numbers (4.7 = 5 and 20.4 = 20).


      “This is not a super-small package by any means (approximately 12 by 8 in/30 by 20 cm) and conveniently is shaped (by design?) to be a very adequate neck pillow which I've used on numerous occasions in my sleeping bag and even in the car on a long road trip and most recently, as a lumbar pillow on a flight to/from Florida where a down jacket was certainly not necessary on route!”

      Edit – This is a pretty long run-on sentence. I’d recommend breaking it up.


      “This would work well for the first mile/kilometer or so or until the morning chill was chased away by the rising sun.”

      Edit – To me, this reads as if the ‘tense is inconsistent…[This would work and the chill was chased]. I would replace (was) with (is).


      “The hood can be cinched tightly as I need at my neck via a barrel lock cord system.”

      EDIT – The hood can be cinched [as] tightly as I need…


      OK, well that was all I found. Go ahead and upload at will and see you next time!


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