82740RE: [BackpackGearTest] EDIT/Approval - OR - Big Agnes Shovelhead Jacket - Kathy Waters
- Apr 13, 2014
Thanks, Mike! Made the corrections (phew that one sentence was a doozy – made it 3!) and uploaded the file.
Looks like a pretty nice jacket. I might have to get one for my wife.
Edits are in the usual format of
EDIT - Must change
edit - My recommended change if you agree
comment - is just that.
“Fittingly, I received the Big Agnes Shovelhead Hooded Jacket on a frigid morning that started out at -4.7 F (-20.4 C) - the high that day only rose to 14 F (-10 C)!”
Edit – I think we generally round off the temperatures to reflect whole numbers (4.7 = 5 and 20.4 = 20).
“This is not a super-small package by any means (approximately 12 by 8 in/30 by 20 cm) and conveniently is shaped (by design?) to be a very adequate neck pillow which I've used on numerous occasions in my sleeping bag and even in the car on a long road trip and most recently, as a lumbar pillow on a flight to/from Florida where a down jacket was certainly not necessary on route!”
Edit – This is a pretty long run-on sentence. I’d recommend breaking it up.
“This would work well for the first mile/kilometer or so or until the morning chill was chased away by the rising sun.”
Edit – To me, this reads as if the ‘tense is inconsistent…[This would work and the chill was chased]. I would replace (was) with (is).
“The hood can be cinched tightly as I need at my neck via a barrel lock cord system.”
EDIT – The hood can be cinched [as] tightly as I need…
OK, well that was all I found. Go ahead and upload at will and see you next time!
- << Previous post in topic