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80413Edit/Approval - Kakadu Kelly CC Vest - John Waters

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  • richardglyon
    Aug 1, 2011
    • 0 Attachment
      John, I don't think you've lost your touch – I have very little to say, most of it up to you. After revising you're good to upload at http://tinyurl.com/3gw2xgw

      See you Wednesday, Richard

      <<LOCATION: White Lake, Michigan USA>>
      Edit/Comment: Below you say "the Cooper Mountain area of Colorado where I call 71 gorgeous acres (29 hectares) home." I think your bio may need updating.

      <<My backpacking began in 1999. I have hiked rainforests in Hawaii, Costa Rica, and Puerto Rico, on glaciers in New Zealand and Iceland, 14ers in Colorado and Death Valley's deserts. >>
      Edit: For consistency I'd drop the "on" before "glaciers."

      <<Reviewer's Torso Length (neck to waist): 20 in (51 cm)>>
      Edit: Torso length has a standard meaning when it comes to packs – top vertebra to iliac crest (top of hipbone). As you've specified how you measured, what you've written is OK, but you might consider changing to the norm.

      << The lining is said to be "100% cotton and 100% nylon". I'm not sure what that means though.>>
      Comment: Perhaps one of our Australian members can explain? Worthy of Yogi Berra.

      <<I don't know why I would do that, but the format allows both left handed and right handed access to a firearm as desired. I'm right-handed so I use the left-side compartment.>>
      Edit: You use hyphens in the second sentence but not the first. I'd add them in the first for consistency and proper syntax.

      << While I haven't had much precipitation experience; it's been exceptionally dry the last year in CO, I have gotten caught in a snow burst or two.>>
      Edit: Punctuation is confusing. I'd use dashes or parentheses to set off "it's been exceptionally dry the last year in CO,"
      EDIT: Spell out "Colorado"

      <<and which backs up to miles of road and track-less BLM land.>>
      Edit: My dictionary has "trackless" as one word, without a hyphen.
      EDIT: public land [Our international readers may not know what "BLM" stands for.]