80413Edit/Approval - Kakadu Kelly CC Vest - John Waters
- Aug 1, 2011John, I don't think you've lost your touch I have very little to say, most of it up to you. After revising you're good to upload at http://tinyurl.com/3gw2xgw
See you Wednesday, Richard
<<LOCATION: White Lake, Michigan USA>>
Edit/Comment: Below you say "the Cooper Mountain area of Colorado where I call 71 gorgeous acres (29 hectares) home." I think your bio may need updating.
<<My backpacking began in 1999. I have hiked rainforests in Hawaii, Costa Rica, and Puerto Rico, on glaciers in New Zealand and Iceland, 14ers in Colorado and Death Valley's deserts. >>
Edit: For consistency I'd drop the "on" before "glaciers."
<<Reviewer's Torso Length (neck to waist): 20 in (51 cm)>>
Edit: Torso length has a standard meaning when it comes to packs top vertebra to iliac crest (top of hipbone). As you've specified how you measured, what you've written is OK, but you might consider changing to the norm.
<< The lining is said to be "100% cotton and 100% nylon". I'm not sure what that means though.>>
Comment: Perhaps one of our Australian members can explain? Worthy of Yogi Berra.
<<I don't know why I would do that, but the format allows both left handed and right handed access to a firearm as desired. I'm right-handed so I use the left-side compartment.>>
Edit: You use hyphens in the second sentence but not the first. I'd add them in the first for consistency and proper syntax.
<< While I haven't had much precipitation experience; it's been exceptionally dry the last year in CO, I have gotten caught in a snow burst or two.>>
Edit: Punctuation is confusing. I'd use dashes or parentheses to set off "it's been exceptionally dry the last year in CO,"
EDIT: Spell out "Colorado"
<<and which backs up to miles of road and track-less BLM land.>>
Edit: My dictionary has "trackless" as one word, without a hyphen.
EDIT: public land [Our international readers may not know what "BLM" stands for.]