80242EDIT - OR - GSI Halulite Minimalist - Charles Nichols
- Apr 29, 2011Charles,
Thank you for your submission, I will be your editor through this process. Since this is your first owner review, this process may seem a bit rough but the intent is to make sure that the review is useful to the reader, so bear with me through this processes and your second will be much easier. The way the process works, is that I have picked up your submission reviewed it and I will let you know what corrections we need to make. You will then make corrections and repost your report and we will continue the process again until the report is suitable to post to the public folder.
In general, the editors roll is to review for content and not necessarily grammar and spelling. You are expected to proof read your report and submit a report that is fairly clean with minimal spelling and grammar error. The report that you submitted contains quite a few grammar and spelling issues (such as punctuation, spacing, capitalization issues and fragmented sentences). Instead of identifying all of the items here, I will simply ask you to review these, make corrections on your own and then we will take a second look on your reposted version.
I do see that you wrote your report in the report writer which is a great tool but lacks many of the spelling and grammar features of a word processing program. I'm a horrible speller, I generally write my revives in the report writer and then I cut and paste into Microsoft Word to check the grammar and spelling. You can do this with any program and after you make corrections there, simply cut and paste back into the report writer to finalize. While the Word Processing Program you choose to use will not be perfect, they usually catch 95% of the issues.
Having said that, let's take a look at the content that you have submitted. The edits that I will give you will come in the following format; I will take a snipet from your report and identify below it the course of action you should take (they will be made in the Following format).
EDIT - Mandatory correction should be made.
Edit - Correction should be made, but some discretion is given to the author. (Generally if the editor is making a suggestion here, it is a good idea to listen until you get a bit more experience).
Comment - Is simply just that, a comment and it could be a suggestions that isn't necessarily an edit.
>> EDIT: You can not have abbreviations for States, we have readers that are not in the United States and do not know our abbreviations. The correct way to state your location would be Corinth, Mississippi, United StatesGENDER: m
>>Comment: Typically you only need to identify your gender when the product is gender specific such as clothing, sleeping bags or back packs. If you do choose to identify you gender, I think it looks better to type it out (but that is left to your choosing / style).I served 22 years in the Army Reserve (retired) . Over the years I've
come to love hiking/backpacking. I've hiked a section of the Appalachian Trail, section of the Palmetto Trail in South Carolina, section of the Sipsey Wilderness, Alabama, and Big Hill Pond State Park in Tennessee. I started out with a 45 to 50 lb (20 to 23 kg) pack . Over time, meeting other hikers using lighter gear has encouraged me to get lighter gear of my own. I'm not a ultralight backpacker, but, I am working on getting my weight down. My current pack weight is 28 lb - 30 lb (13 to14 kg) now.
>>EDIT: There is a rule that our "Bio" contain less than 100 words, I know it is goofy, but you have 109 words here. If you have / use Microsoft Word, they have a word count feature in the Tool Menu. There is also a few small grammatical issues in the Bio, so when you revisit trimming it down, take a look at the grammar.Patch, I began heated 2 c (16 fl oz) cold water for supper in my GSI
Halulite Minimalist and within 3 - 4 minutes, I had a boil.
>>EDIT: Take a look at "heated" - I believe you meant "heating"...When pouring hot water from my pot, I position my hand and fingers on the side of the pot so the steam from the water rise up and burn my fingers..
>>EDIT: After water, I think you need "will not" or some other correction to make the sentence more readable. Also note that you have two periods at the end of the sentence (just an example from my note above).I don't care to use it this way because after turning my sip-it lid over steam drops off makes a mess to drink out of if you don't wipe the sip-it lid off.
>>EDIT: Please revisit the sentence, while I can understand what you are trying to say, it is a little hard to read.Now, If I'm hiking with your mate I'm going to need a second coffee cup, because the GSI Halulite Minimalist is a solo cookset, so my girlfriend and I are going to pick up a second GSI Halulite inimalist for her coffee cup and boil/cook if needed.
>>EDIT: Same edit as above. Also, the two sentences are a little redundant.So that is round 1 of the edit process. It looks like a lot, and it is, but you are learning and things will get easier. If you find this a little overwhelming, there is a mentoring program and you can request a mentor that will guide you through this, if that is something you are interested in, just let me know. Also, don't get discouraged, this process will ultimately make you a better reviewer and the best of testers have gone through this and still get edited. If at any time you have any questions - please ask, we are here to help.
>>Comment: As far as content goes, I think I would like to see something in the product description that addresses volume of the container, "how much does it hold" information. Also, your review really focuses on the grab pad and steam as well as the lid, I found a little of that redundant, but they are important features, so lets make sure that we are describing the accurately. On some of the descriptions I couldn't quite picture what you were trying to say (sip-it lid turned up, down sideways etc....)
So take a look at what you have, make your corrections and repost your report using the REPOST identifier at the beginning of the Subject Line and then I will take another look. Also, lets repost your HTML version to the test folder (which will require you deleting the version you have already posted).
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