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77107EDIT: OR L. L. Bean Stowaway Rainwear Jacket with Gore-Tex, Kellie Carlisle

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  • pamwyant
    Jan 31, 2009
    • 0 Attachment
      EDIT: L. L. Bean Stowaway Rainwear Jacket with Gore-Tex OR – Kellie
      Carlisle

      Hi Kellie,

      Thanks for submitting your first owner review. You have some good
      information and thoughts here, but some work to do to get it `print'
      ready.

      We have a convention for editing that will usually follow these lines:

      EDIT – required correction, generally exactly as stated
      Edit – something needs changed, but you generally have some
      discretion in how to change it
      Comment – A suggestion for improvement, or sometimes merely a comment
      on something that stands out.

      Once you have made the changes required and requested below, you will
      need to re-post to this list. Please use the word "REPOST" at the
      beginning of the title line. At this point a simple repost to this
      list is fine. On your next edit, I will likely be requiring you to
      upload an HTML version to the owner review test folder, and in the
      future this is something you should do at the same time you post your
      report.

      I'll be looking forward to your revised version. Your edits follow.

      **********************************

      Height: 5'10.5" (1.55 Meters)

      ### Edit: Looks like your conversion is off here. 5'10.5" should
      convert to 1.79 m. It is kind of common though to round to the
      nearest even inch for height, so if you want to go to 5'11, the
      conversion would be 1.80 meters.

      Weight: 165 Pounds (113 Kilograms)

      ### Edit: Another rounding problem – 165 lb should be 75 kg.
      ### Comment: Typically we use the following abbreviations: m for
      meter; lb for pound; kg for kilograms instead of spelling the words
      out.

      Email address: Kelliecar@...
      City, State, Country: Ellicott City, MD, USA
      Date: 12/31/08

      Backpacking Background: I have been day hiking for over 12 years, but
      took up backpacking 3 years ago and still have much to learn. My
      situation is a little unique as I have a service animal that must
      have gear too. I prefer longer hikes averaging 10-15 miles (16.10 km -
      24.15 km) each day.

      ### EDIT: if you are using `km' for kilometers you also need to
      use `mi' for miles for consistency. Also, you can round the
      conversions (16 – 24 km) which is better since the distance is not
      precise.

      Overnight trips range from 3-4 days about every six weeks. Most of
      the terrain I encounter is very rocky, hilly, and in the Mid-Atlantic
      region with many of my hikes on sections of the AT.

      ### EDIT: You need to spell out `Appalachian Trail'. Although it's
      one of my favorite trails too, not everyone is familiar with trail
      abbreviations.

      ### Comment: We like to get some information in the background on
      what type of backpacker you are – light weight, mid weight, tent
      camper, hammock sleeper, etc. I know this is a little difficult to
      do and still keep the bio at 100 words, but you could consider
      condensing a few of the sentences to give you a little more space to
      describe your style. (I.E. I've been a day-hiker for 12 years, and
      backpacked for 3 years. I backpack with a service animal that must
      have gear too. I like hiking 10-15 mi (16-24 km) each day, and take
      3-4 day trips about every six weeks.) Doing something like this
      gives you a lot more words to play with to tell us more about how you
      backpack.

      The cut in this years model is a little longer than older models and
      this one is long enough in the
      back to overlap the matching pair of pants I purchased the same day.

      ### EDIT: need apostrophe in "year's"


      There are elastic draw cords in the hood and at the bottom of the
      jacket so I can customize the fit. The wrists cuffs have elastic
      which helps to keep them in place and are comfortable and not as
      scratchy as some Gortex products are. The cuffs also have a Velcro
      faster strip to allow for a tighter fit if necessary.

      ### EDIT: I think you mean a *fastener* strip.


      It took only a few seconds to stuff into the pocket made for storing
      the jacket and also functions as a usable pocket when wearing the
      jacket. When the jacket is stored in its pocket, it is fully enclosed
      in mesh, with only the zipper being exposed allowing for easy storage
      which protects the outer shell of the jacket.

      There are two large angled zip up pockets on both the left and right
      bottom front of the jacket. The pulls on the zippers are larger
      enough to easily be zipped with a gloved hand. I found these to be
      just the right size for a pair of gloves and my phone. I specifically
      appreciate the inside breast pocket which is perfect for passport, ID
      card, or slim wallet which doubles as the aforementioned stowaway
      pocket for the jacket.

      To stow away the jacket I used it like a stuff sack for a sleeping
      bag. I simply stuff the bag, do not try to fold or roll the jacket
      and put in the pocket as it will not fit this way…you must "stuff"
      the jacket in the pocket by randomly grabbing fistfuls of the jacket
      and then stuffing it into the stowaway pocket. It stuffs into the
      pocket in mere seconds and then I zip it shut and the jacket is
      stored within its own mesh pocket!

      ### Edit: The above paragraphs have some awkward wording and could
      use a little different organization. You jump from describing
      stuffing the jacket into its pocket, to describing other pockets, and
      then back to describing stuffing it again. Can you re-word this to
      avoid jumping back and forth and to make the thoughts flow together
      better?

      The front zipper is very rugged and made out of a type of non-
      metallic material which feels like a type of rubber. Along with the
      zipper, the front of the jacket has storm flaps on either side of the
      zipper which closes with both Velcro and snaps to ensure water does
      not leak in.

      ### Edit: Instead of "Along with the zipper", I believe "over the
      zipper" would sound better. In fact the sentence could use a little
      reorganization, as it sounds very wordy and the point is somewhat
      lost in the wordiness. – Something like "Over the zipper are storm
      flaps on each side that close with both Velcro and snaps to ensure
      water does not leak in." would make the same point in a simpler
      manner.

      The inner storm flap creased to funnel water down the jacket and also
      ensures water does not go through the zipper.

      ### Edit/comment: Do you mean the inner storm flap *is* creased?
      This seems a little odd. Where is it creased? Does the outer flap
      not keep the water out?
      And it works as well as they had hoped because after over 50 hikes it
      has kept me dry!

      The drawcord on the hood can be operated with one hand, and I found
      this easy to operate even with large gloves on. It is anchored in
      place to facilitate one hand tightening of the hood in addition to an
      adjustable Velcro strap on top for added customization. The drawcord
      hood also has an extended visor that keeps rain off my face.

      ### Edit: Again awkward wording that makes it difficult to envision
      what you are trying to say. Does the drawcord have a Velcro strap,
      or does the hood have a Velcro strap? Try to make sure that the
      words you include in each sentence are describing only the feature
      you are writing about at that time. Each feature should have at
      least a separate sentence so that it is properly described.

      The drawcord on the bottom of the jacket operates similarly to the
      one for the hood, allowing for single hand operation and can easily
      be tightened with a gloved hand and has a rubber stop to keep the
      adjustment in place.

      ### Edit: How about moving the description of the rubber stop either
      to another sentence or to the beginning of this one to make the
      sentence structure less awkward. I.E. The drawcord on the bottom of
      the jacket has a rubber stop to keep the adjustment in place. It
      operates similar to the one for the hood, allowing for single hand
      operation and can easily be tightened with a gloved hand.

      The tighter you pull the elastic the tighter the jacket will fit
      around your waist or hips.

      ### EDIT: Re-word to avoid using the words "you" and "your". This
      is something we really watch around here, as it often projects your
      experience onto the reader. We strive to keep our reports firmly in
      the first person experience, and avoiding words like `you' and your'
      helps a lot with this.


      The inside of the collar has a microfleece layer to go against my
      chin. This is much better than Gortex against this area and was very
      comfortable when I used it in temperatures in very windy and rainy
      conditions.

      ###: Edit: This sentence either is lacking something or the
      word `temperatures' is extra. Please re-word so it makes sense.

      Rain beads off of this jacket better than any other I have seen and
      is not as hot to wear as similar products I have tried. The mesh
      liner inside this jacket keeps it from sticking when you work up a
      sweat and provides some circulation to keep me from overheating. The
      other pockets are well lined and roomy. The jacket has a good skin
      feel and breathability, and has been exceptional at keeping the rain
      off; the hood covers well enough. This is a very lightweight jacket
      and the most rugged and comfortable Gortex jacket I have worn to date.

      ### Edit: This whole section really is more of a summary, so it
      should be moved to the summary section. Make sure that you remove
      anything that would be redundant with what's already there. Specific
      edits on this paragraph follow.

      Rain beads off of this jacket better than any other I have seen and
      is not as hot to wear as similar products I have tried.

      ### Edit: …and *it* is not as hot…

      The mesh liner inside this jacket keeps it from sticking when you
      work up a sweat and provides some circulation to keep me from
      overheating.

      ### Edit: avoid using the word "you".

      The other pockets are well lined and roomy.

      ### Edit: Do you mean "outer" instead of "other"?

      The jacket has a good skin feel and breathability, and has been
      exceptional at keeping the rain
      off; the hood covers well enough.

      ### Edit: The last thought just seems stuck in there. Can you make
      it a separate sentence and go into a little more detail. Do you wish
      it covered better? Is it a little too shallow, or why do you
      say "well enough" instead of "well"?

      Product Review

      Field Use

      ### EDIT: This is a double title. Choose one or the other – Product
      Review sounds like it better fits what you follow it with. You
      actually do need a "Field Conditions" section though, which would be
      nice right before this section. We need a brief description of
      approximately how many times you have used the jacket, a few
      locations, and general range of temperatures and elevations.


      I have had the opportunity to wear this jacket tons since I lead
      hikes each Sat and Sunday and I average 25-30 miles of hiking over
      each weekend. My results are as follows.

      ### Edit: This sentence would go well in the Field Conditions
      description. Leave out "My results are as follows", because you
      should then have another section that is titled "Product Review"
      where the rest will go.


      I wear this jacket three seasons, fall, winter, and spring as I do
      not wear rain gear when it is hot outside as I enjoy the refreshing
      rain when it is over 90 F (32.22 C) !

      ### EDIT: Instead of a comma after seasons, you should use either a
      dash or semi-colon. This sentence can also go in the "Field
      Conditions" section.
      ### Comment: using the word "as" twice to change thoughts sounds
      awkward. You might change one of them to "since".

      In the fall when temperatures ranged from 40-55 F (6.67-12.78 C), I
      wore this jacket when I needed
      protection from wind and rain. It definantly lived up to its name.

      ### EDIT: I believe you mean it *definitely* lived up to its name.

      I believe this was due to the mesh liner of the jacket which allows
      for some ventilation and keeps the jacket from sticking to my sweater
      body after hiking 15 miles (24.15 km).

      ### EDIT: I believe you mean *sweaty* body.

      Over the winter I used this as mandatory gear for every hike. When
      the temperature was below 20 my base layer was a mid weight Polar
      Tech long underwear top followed by a non cotton short sleeve hiking
      shirt and then a 300 fleece and my jacket as the outer most layer.

      ### EDIT: Need `F' after 20 and need the metric conversion. Also I
      believe you mean "Polartec" top?

      When I needed to shed after I heated up after a few miles on the
      trail I would shed the fleece and be very comfortable in just the
      long underwear and light hiking shirt under the jacket.

      ### Comment: Re-using the same words gives a redundant sound to this
      sentence. Maybe substitute `remove' for one of the `sheds'. You
      also have the same problem with `after', and might consider some re-
      wording there.

      This is the ultimate outer layer for my winter hiking clothes. No
      matter what Mother Nature threw my way my jacket kept me comfortable.
      The jacket is extremely rugged as I wore it wile bouldering on a
      mountain peak which required sliding along several large boulders
      which has torn other jackets in the past.

      ### EDIT: spelling of "while".. The last part is worded awkwardly.
      I think you might be better off to address the fact that other
      jackets have torn while you were bouldering in a separate sentence.


      In the spring I keep the jacket in my day-packet and if on overnight
      trips in my backpack.

      ### Comment: I think you mean daypack?

      Its compact size makes it very easy to pack and locate within my
      pack.

      ### Comment: The compact size makes it easy to locate? Or is there
      another reason it is easy to locate, such as the feel or color?

      The pockets I have found in the field to be large enough to
      facilitate even my two way Garmin radio/GPS/NOAA weather radio which
      had been too large to fit in my other jacket pockets.

      ### Edit: more awkward wording. Try to form your sentences so that
      the structure makes better sense. As written, you are basically
      saying you found the pockets in the field, while what you mean is
      that you found the pockets large enough to hold your Garmin. Also,
      the pockets don't facilitate the radio. Their size might
      facilitate `holding' the radio.


      All in all I have worn this jacket for hundreds if not close to a
      thousand miles and I yet to be disappointed by it and I am a
      difficult hiker to pleas as I expect equipment to live up to its
      promises.

      ### Edit: This would better be broken up into two sentences or at
      least use some punctuation to separate the two thoughts, and should
      be part of the summary.


      Summary
      Simply put, the L. L. Bean Stowaway Rainwear Jacket with Gore-Tex has
      become a staple in my hiking wardrobe. It's lightweight yet very
      rugged design is perfect for year around wear and the convenience of
      the jacket stowing in its own pocket keeps me from having to keep up
      with a separate stuff sack or trying to fold or roll it up and find a
      place for it in my daypack or backpack.

      ### Comment: Your summary contradicts your review, since you state
      here that you use it year around, but state earlier you don't use it
      in summer.

      Things I like about this jacket:
      • Completely water and windproof as guaranteed by the manufacturer
      • Stows in its own pocket in just seconds
      • Rugged enough for rock climbing and bouldering, even slipping on
      leaves on the trail and falling on my tushy too!

      ### EDIT: …even *for* slipping on leaves…

      Things I don't like about this jacket
      • The double zippers can sometimes be tricky to line up but after
      using the jacket a few times I got this down.

      ### Comment: Do you mean it has two zippers, or that it has double
      zipper heads? You did not talk about this feature earlier. It
      really should be described in the body of the report.

      • Since the jacket does not have armpit zippers, when warn in hotter
      temperature as a rain jacket it can be a little hot.

      ### EDIT: when *worn* in hotter *temperatures*. I'd also like to
      see "as a rain jacket" left out.

      I stick to
      wearing this jacket only in months it is important to me to stay
      dry. This is a personal preference as I enjoy the rain in the heat
      when it is not a danger to me. Other people might not find this to
      be a problem as I hear almost any rain jacket gets pretty warm
      although Goretex does breathe more than any other fabric I have tried.

      ### EDIT: Remove the reference to what other people might think as
      that is projection.
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