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  • theMiddleSister@usaring.com
    Jun 1, 2007
    • 0 Attachment

      I have been assigned to edit your Owner's Review. I enjoyed reading it and your pictures are well done!

      As this appears to be only your second review, so I tried to go easy on you! ;) Writing for BGT takes practice and you needn't be discouraged by the editing process. If it seems "greek" to you, you might want to check in with the BGT mentoring program where eager volunteers will help you master the process of writing ORs, applying for tests and writing test reports. It's a great program and I'll be happy to put you in touch with Jenn K.

      I noticed you are using Shane's wonderful ReportWriter program. It sure makes the process easier, doesn't it? Built into the ReportWriter is a
      spell checker. You might not have noticed it, but please in the future, run your reports through the spell checker before posting. It will save us all
      a bit of time.

      Since this is only your second review and there are more than a couple edits, I would like you to REPOST your OR to the list when you have made the edits.When you repost, make sure that you have in the subject line "REPOST: Owner Review - Product name - Your name".

      Also, after the corrections, you need to re-upload your HTML file to the Owner Review test folder so I can check out your HTML. Whenever you first post or repost, you must put a link in the e-mail to that file location so I can view the uploaded file.

      My list of edits follows. Let me know if you don't understand anything I've written.

      Conventionally the following terms are used in the editing process:
      *** EDIT: you must fix this to comply with BackpackGearTest standards
      [because the Editor says so!]
      *** Edit: you should seriously consider fixing this in some way [unless you
      seriously object with good reason]
      *** Comment: usually just that, although you might want to make a change of
      some sort as a result.

      Please e-mail me when you have made the edits and have re-uploaded the file with your pictures to the test folder. At that time, I'll check out the HTML and, if all is OK, give you the go ahead to upload. Please remember to use "REPOST" when you report the plain text of your corrected OR to the list.

      Kathy Waters
      OR Editor


      EDIT: Please spell out BSA. International readers may not know what the acronym means since the term in not used other than in the US. Also, your use of the singular "tent" reads awkwardly. You either need the plural "tents" or an "a" before the word. These two edits will push your background to 105 words and the maximum is 100. You'll need to tighten it up to get below the mandated 100. Since this is your second (?) edit, I'm sure you will be wondering why I editing it. Editors often target different things and overlook others. I happen to "catch" these J!

      Measured Weight: [pair]?? oz (?? g) men's 8.5
      EDIT: Gotta have the weights per BGT ByLaws.

      My first impression of the Adrenaline Gore-Tex XCR Mid was, WOW, look at how well onstructed these are.

      Edit/COMMENT: This is a REAL nit-pick, but you should have quotation marks around your "impression", i.e., "Wow..are." Again, A REAL nit-pick.

      These were given to me during the winter of 2005 so I couldn't put them to the test until spring when most of our snow has melted off.

      EDIT: Changed "has" to "had" since 2005 was in the past.

      The Adrenaline Gore-Tex XCR Mids are named from North Face as a multipurpose
      mid-cut shoe and are listed under there multisport and trail running genre.
      EDIT: Change "there" to "their".

      The Gore-Tex, UlraTac and H2O Proof add extra grip and protection for those wet and slippery conditions.

      EDIT: The correct spelling is "UltraTrac".

      The ultarlight weight of these shoes is a great
      start for me to lighten my load.
      EDIT: Correct spelling is "ultralight".

      This may further assist anyone who reads this review.

      EDIT: Remove this sentence. It is projection.

      This review will be based on all hikes taking place in the Catskills.

      EDIT: Change to "This review is based" since the review is already written.

      For the sole of my foot I have no complaints.

      EDIT: Change "have" to "had" to keep the tense consistent.

      45 degrees F (7.22 C)

      EDIT: Remove the word "degrees" per BGT standard usage.

      This time out on the trails the stiffness seemed to fade.

      Edit: Which "time out", the second or the third - since you mention both together in the same sentence, could you please clarify here?

      The forth time out in the shoes I volunteered to
      help the Catskill Mtn Club blaze a new portion of the Long Path.

      EDIT: Correct spelling is "fourth".

      Edit: Unless the proper name of the club is "Mtn", you should spell out the whole word to "Mountain".

      50 degrees F (10.00 C).

      EDIT: Ditto "degrees".

      Each time the North Face Adrenaline's are worn the comfort becomes greater each time.

      EDIT: Remove the apostrophe - you mean the plural, not the possessive.

      The lightweight and the extreme comfort kept me going as I have logged many miles in them.

      EDIT: You either need to make "lightweight" two words or change the sentence in some other manner to make sense here, maybe "lightweight attribute" or something.

      The traction given on wet rock was almost unbelievable. I remember on several occasions stepping in a deep puddle or a stream and saying my feet will be definitely wet after that one
      and sure enough nothing. The waterproof liners really work. I can now step anywhere without hesitation or worry of wet feet.

      EDIT/COMMENT: This section is confusing to me. The first sentence regarding traction doesn't seem to belong here, maybe you could put it at the end of this part in a separate paragraph? Also (this is the EDIT part) - your sentence ".saying my feet will be.AND SURE ENOUGH NOTHING." - is contradictory. Maybe changing to "but surprisely, nothing" or "no wet feet" or something would work.

      At times jumping from rock to rock and pounding on my soles the TPU shank with forefoot protection plate made a huge difference.

      COMENT: "At times"? Does that mean at other times, it didn't make a difference? Is so, why not?

      (30 miles later)

      EDIT: Metric conversion needed here.

      I hope when the time comes where I need to purchase another pair of trail hikers, North Face is still making the Adrenaline's.

      EDIT: Remove the apostrophe - you mean the plural, not the possessive.

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]