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68599RE: [BackpackGearTest] EDIT: Spondonical by Ralph Ditton

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  • Ralph Ditton
    Dec 1, 2005
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      Hi Roger,
      Thanks for picking up the OR.
      I will attend to the edits over the next few days as I am flat out at work
      at present. I will do a bit each night.
      No, I used to be a "bush lawyer" in the Trade Union movement as an
      Industrial Officer for the Bank Employees looking after Credit Unions and
      putting up Draft Awards for each enterprise and see them through the
      Industrial Commission and become registered Awards.
      Now I run two businesses as I am self-employed, Security/Flyscreen repairs
      and a Window Cleaning business and this is my frantic time with hot weather
      and Christmas. I do not have to do much writing in my business hence my T.U
      writing style has still remained unfortunately.

      -----Original Message-----
      From: BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com
      [mailto:BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Roger Caffin
      Sent: Thursday, 1 December 2005 6:04 PM
      To: BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com
      Subject: [BackpackGearTest] EDIT: Spondonical by Ralph Ditton

      EDIT: Spondonical by Ralph Ditton

      Hi Ralph

      For your sins you get me again. Luck of the draw actually.

      You wouldn't be a lawyer by any chance? Not insulting lawyers by any means,
      but your prose reads like legalese. A
      simpler style would be much more suitable for BGT readers, so I have gone to
      town with some EXAMPLES of improvements.
      Basically, shorten the sentences and make them more direct. Hope you don't
      mind this interference with your style.
      Remember: we write for posterity!
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