Re: Self-deprecating comments (was something else) LONGISH
> I find myself self-deprecating all the time:I do this too, but less frequently than in the past. I
> "Well, I must be crazy, because I sewed it all by
> "I prefer period food, but that's just my hangup."
> "We did things differently back home in Lochac, but
> everyone knows they're a bit strange there."
worked with a woman who unintentionally showed me that
these self-deprecating remarks *sometimes* hide much
arrogance. (I know. Not always.) When we all had the
same deadline, and Dee was the only one who didn't
meet it, she always said something meant to be
- I'm sorry, I'm a perfectionist. I can't stand to
turn in sloppy work.
- I just have to double check all the calculations.
But that's just me... I don't expect anyone else to
live up to the standards I set for myself.
- I'm used to working in an industry where getting it
right is more important than here.
Everyone who ever worked with her for the 11 years I
was there agreed. Her "self-deprecating" comments were
perceived to be sugar coated insults.
- Your work is more sloppy than mine.
- My standards are what you all should aim for, even
though you will never make it.
Now, when I hear "... but that's just me", I cringe.
And I have gotten much better at avoiding such
comments. When my friends ask why I would want to
handsew a gown, I just tell them I enjoy it. If they
shake their heads and call me crazy, I just shrug and
say "You're probably right".
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