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For Friday: Dog Letters to God

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  • Kate Danaher
    DOG LETTERS TO GOD Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 1, 2001
      DOG LETTERS TO GOD

      Dear God,
      When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
      the same old story?

      Dear God,
      When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to
      get in?

      Dear God,
      We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
      signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic
      energyfields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

      Dear God,
      Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have
      been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear
      back is the beagle across the street.

      Dear God,
      Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
      apologize?

      Dear God,
      When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But
      they never bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast
      when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed my own blessing?

      Dear God,
      I've always lived at the shelter and I have everything I
      need. But many of the cats here have names and I don't. Could you give
      me a name please? It would be good for my self-esteem.

      Dear God,
      The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and
      I have a feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous
      of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I
      convince them I'm innocent? Does PetsMart sell lie detectors?

      Dear God,
      How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever,
      smell one another? What are they thinking?

      Dear God,
      Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the
      cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not
      one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs
      love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it
      would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

      Dear God,
      If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
      him, is he still a bad dog?

      Dear God,
      Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
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