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Wisdom from Swami Beyondananda

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  • Mondra Rose
    Swami Calls For An Up-Wising - Wise Up, Everybody The Evolution Has Begun By Swami Beyondananda 8-23-6 For years now, we ve been hearing shift happens, and
    Message 1 of 9 , Oct 1, 2006
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      Swami Calls For An Up-Wising - Wise Up, Everybody The Evolution Has Begun

      By Swami Beyondananda
      8-23-6

      For years now, we've been hearing "shift happens," and wondering when,
      where and how. Now finally, it looks as if the shift is about to hit
      the fan. This is good news for all those shift fans who've been
      wondering if the new age will arrive before old age does.

      Of course, if you're looking for signs in the news, you won't find
      them. At least, not yet. The news might as well be called the "olds,"
      because the world still seems stuck in gridlock, ruled by fossilized
      fools fueled by fossil fuels. But I have been receiving encouraging
      intelligence reports that say indeed, humans are becoming more
      intelligent. Yes, people everywhere are wising up. And that's great,
      because we could sure use an up-wising!

      The evolution has begun. But before we see changes in the old
      needy-greedy, we humans must change our consciousness -- and the first
      step is becoming conscious of how unconscious we've been. As the
      saying goes, the truth shall upset you free, and last year saw lots of
      disillusionment. But what better to free us from the far more
      dangerous condition of illusionment? If we want to stop the abuse of
      power, the first step is to disabuse ourselves.

      So, here's some good news: Despite a massive media I machine that
      feeds the public "babblum" (strained bullshit made digestible for a
      simple child's mind), more and more Americans are reading between the
      ly ins' and peering behind the Irony Curtain.

      In 2005, Americans had to face the sad realization that the Bush
      Administration's "pro-life" stance appears to be limited to the unborn
      and the brain-dead. Despite being panned by critics everywhere, the
      Iraqi Horror Picture Show continued its run, as thousands and
      thousands of born fetuses - ours and theirs -- lost their right to
      life.

      While we may or may not have saved our face by staying there, we have
      most definitely lost our ass. And we've been assured we'll be stuck in
      that morass until -- well, until there's no more ass to lose.
      Meanwhile, more and more Americans reached another sad conclusion:
      We're not in Iraq to keep the peace, we're there to keep the pieces.

      The signs of up-wising are everywhere. Even the most unpleasant
      stories are beginning to break through the soundless barrier and defy
      the President's "don't ask, don't tell" policy: "You promise not to
      ask us what we're doing, and we promise not to tell you." Although
      we've been inundated with "fear-gnomes" and ominously warned we have
      to protect ourselves in this dogma-eat-dogma world, a majority of
      Americans are no longer comfortable with the notion that the only way
      to defeat the "evil-doers" in the world is to out evil-do them.

      Although our President has assured us that "we don't torture," it is
      now common knowledge that we simply send detainees to countries that
      do torture when we want them to "testify under oaf." As for those
      progressives who've been whining that the President "never listens" to
      them, well it turns out he's been listening all along. And thanks to
      the so-called Patriot Act (which, I understand, is about to be renamed
      the Eternal Insecurity Act), it looks like he'll be able to listen in
      even more -- all in the name of making us safe. But now even some
      Republicans are beginning to see that there's a difference between
      protection and the "protection racket."

      And with the recent revelations about Tom DeLay, Jack Abramoff and
      other gold collar criminals, some of the more devout conservatives
      have come to realize that the "family values" they voted for bear an
      uncanny resemblance to Soprano Family values. If there was any warm
      feeling in 2005, chalk it up to climate change. Katrina hit, and in
      the government's response we saw a future when at last all Americans
      will be equal -- where everyone regardless of race or creed will be
      treated like Black folks. Alarming Policies Have Awakened Millions!

      Fortunately, this is the State of the Universe Address, and from a
      universal perspective, things are humming along quite nicely. It turns
      out that the Earth is the talk of the Universe these days. In fact,
      the odds-makers at the Intergalactic Enquirer say the odds are
      actually in our favor: "We're betting on the human race to reach
      critical mass before they get to critical massacre." And we could beat
      the odds, if we finally gave up our addiction to getting even and got
      odd instead.

      It stands to reason. If each of us used our unique oddness to improve
      the odds for everyone, there would be no need for getting even. Yes,
      the up-wising has begun, and intergalactic observers are saying that
      we have none other than George W. Bush to thank. How is that, you may
      ask? Well, I am reminded of a story my guru Harry Cohen Baba used to
      tell. A well-known minister died and arrived at the Pearly Gates at
      the same time as a cab-driver from New York. The cabbie was ushered
      in, but the clergyman was left waiting outside. After waiting and
      waiting and waiting, he finally called over the attending angel.
      "Excuse me, but I'm a renowned minister. How come you let that
      cab-driver in, and I'm left waiting out here?" "Well," the angel said,
      "when you preached, everyone slept. But when he drove, everyone
      prayed."

      For millennia, spiritual teachers have been calling on us to go for
      the highest common denominator, but we've always seemed to end up with
      the lowest common dominator instead. And now, George W. Bush has done
      what preachers, teachers and other far-sighted visionaries have failed
      to do up until now: His policies have been so alarming, that he has
      awakened a slumbering body politic that slept through all previous
      alarms. Where others have failed, he has people all across the world
      praying, "God help us!" And instead of waiting for an intervention
      from above -- after all, we cannot expect to be fed intervenously
      forever -- people are beginning to help themselves, and even more
      importantly, help each other.

      Sure, there are still plenty of Not-Sees out there who insist on not
      seeing that we humans are all in the same boat. The good news is,
      more and more Americans are getting that sinking feeling that there's
      only one Earthship, and ignoring a leak because it's "on the other
      side of the boat," is a mistake of titanic proportions. We Are the
      Leaders We've Been Waiting For America, the world's only super-power,
      doesn't need a revolution. We've already had one, thank you.

      What is needed now -- and what has already begun -- is the American
      Evolution where enough of us wake up and see that those two political
      parties have been partying on our dime, and we the people haven't been
      invited. Time to go beyond choosing the lesser of two weasels. If we
      want to evolve the dream of our Founding Fathers -- instead of devolve
      into the nightmare of Big Brother -- we must become the leaders we've
      been waiting for. I've said it before. The only force more powerful
      than a super-power is a Super-Duper Power -- the power of the people
      plus the power of love.

      And anyone who doesn't believe we are a Super-Duper Power, well they
      have been super-duped! It's true, many people still feel that the
      affairs of the world should be left to the bolder and badder among us.
      But look what that leaves us with: Are you satisfied choosing between
      Saddam Hussein and George Who's-Not-Sane? Now I know those "God, guns
      and guts" Old Testament Christians might have forgotten, but Jesus did
      say that the meek shall inherit the earth.

      In all undue immodesty, maybe it's time for us meek folks to boldly
      step forth and accept our inheritance. For just as 2000 years ago
      Jesus stood up to a class that placed the rule of gold above the
      Golden Rule, today we face the modern version of the Pharisees -- the
      Phallusees, I think they are called. They cynically cloak themselves
      in religious robes, but the only power they trust is the power of the
      stick.

      Well, there's another old saying: It doesn't matter how big your stick
      is, if you stick your stick where it doesn't belong, you're stuck.

      Another sign of the up-wising and coming evolution is that people are
      growing dissatisfied with the positionality of "my side vs. your
      side," and are seeing the whole issue of sides from a new angle:
      Maybe we're all on the same side.

      For example, this argument between creationism and evolution is just
      another way for dueling dualities to steal our energy. I believe in
      both. I believe the Creator created us to evolve, otherwise Jesus
      would have said, "Now don't do a thing till I return." I have it on
      good authority that the Creator is pulling for us: "Come on, you
      children of God. Time to grow up and become adults of God instead."

      Time to Overgrow the System From the Grassroots Up. The time for
      revolution and overthrowing has past. Now we need an evolution where
      we "overgrow" the current dysfunctional system from the grassroots up.

      You are probably familiar with the story of the Native American
      grandfather who tells his grandson that there are two wolves fighting
      inside all of us: The wolf of fear and anger, and the wolf of love and
      peace. "Which wolf will win?" asks the young boy. "Whichever one we
      feed," replies the grandfather. And so when people ask me to predict
      what will happen, I tell them the only thing I can predict with
      certainty is the uncertainty of any prediction. The future's just too
      unpredictable these days. This is a Universe of infinite
      possibilities, so it all depends on which futures we invest in.

      There is something far more empowerful than predictions, and that is
      Tell-A-Vision. If you're fed up with the current programming, my
      advice is turn off your TV and tell a vision instead. That way, we
      will have healing and functional visions to step into -- and that
      beats what we've been stepping into.

      So I will tell my vision for 2006: This is the year of the American
      Evolution, where all those who prefer the Golden Rule to the rule of
      gold get past left and right, and come front and center. I see
      Americans of all political stripes, plaids and polka dots (not to
      mention solids), choosing to face the music and dance together. Sure,
      we'll have to learn some new steps, but it's time for a new dance -
      A-Bun-Dance.

      That is where we get up off our assets, move our buns, and dance
      together in rhythm and flow. And what better way to turn the funk into
      function, and leave the junk at the junction? I see us in a new
      reality show -- Extreme Planetary Makeover -- where everyone can play
      and everyone can win.

      Just think. Something more compelling than reality TV ... it's called
      reality! I know, I know. Only a crazy person would dare to propose
      anything that sane. But maybe it's time to declare the current
      institutionalized insanity illegally insane, and set about building a
      sane asylum big enough for all six and a half billion of us. As my
      guru Harry Cohen Baba has said, "Life is like a good deli. Even if
      something isn't on the menu, if enough people order it they have to
      make it."

      So what kind of new world order are we ordering up? Do we feed the
      wolf of fear and buy into the "it's every man for himself" story? Or
      do we nourish the wolf of love and evolve into the "we're all in it
      together" story? If we're going to be a Super-Duper Power, we have to
      be super-duper powerful in activating the power of love, and
      cultivating the power of joy.

      So laugh more. Why not? We all know there's something funny going on.
      The wall of lies cannot withstand the vibration of laughter. All
      seriousness aside, only a farce field that combines truth and laughter
      can bring down the Irony Curtain once and for all.

      Release the old story -- been there, done that -- and speak the new
      story into the world. Dare to imagine what we could be doing if we
      weren't spending so much of our livelihood on weapons of deadlihood.

      Think about it ... think tanks where they think about something other
      than tanks. Young people living for their country instead of dying for
      it. Health and education fully funded, and the Air Force having to run
      a bake sale so they can buy a new bomber. Can we change the course of
      history? Can we shift our karma into surpassing gear? I cannot say for
      sure, but if we choose to give up that old Dodge and trade it in for
      an Evolvo, that's a good first step.

      So ... let the Evolution begin. We don't have to wait until the first
      Big Shot is fired. If we create a powerful enough field, the Big
      Shots will end up firing themselves.

      May the FARCE -- as always -- be with us.

      ***Be THERE now!
    • gypsylittledove@aol.com
      Who is this Swami? A liberal?
      Message 2 of 9 , Oct 1, 2006
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        Who is this Swami?  A liberal? 
      • Mondra Rose
        ... He is a humorous columnist who s been around at least the last 25 years- and who loves poking fun at uptight subjects- a very farcical person. While it s
        Message 3 of 9 , Oct 1, 2006
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          >Who is this Swami? A liberal?
          >

          He is a humorous columnist who's been around at least the last 25
          years- and who loves poking fun at uptight subjects- a very farcical
          person. While it's all meant very tongue-in-cheek, there is much
          simple truth there, don't you think?

          Mondra
        • gypsylittledove@aol.com
          no I did not think it was so funny. In a message dated 10/1/2006 10:26:56 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, ... He is a humorous columnist who s been around at
          Message 4 of 9 , Oct 1, 2006
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             no I did not think it was so funny.
             
            In a message dated 10/1/2006 10:26:56 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, mondrar@... writes:

            >Who is this Swami? A liberal?
            >

            He is a humorous columnist who's been around at least the last 25
            years- and who loves poking fun at uptight subjects- a very farcical
            person. While it's all meant very tongue-in-cheek, there is much
            simple truth there, don't you think?

            Mondra

             
          • Mondra Rose
            I m sorry- I didn t mean to offend...... Perhaps political satire was inappropriate.... Please forgive. Mondra
            Message 5 of 9 , Oct 2, 2006
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              Re: [Ancient-Mysteries] Wisdom from Swami Beyondananda
              I'm sorry- I didn't mean to offend......   Perhaps political satire was inappropriate....  Please forgive.
              Mondra

               no I did not think it was so funny.
               
              In a message dated 10/1/2006 10:26:56 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, mondrar@... writes:
              >Who is this Swami? A liberal?
              >

              He is a humorous columnist who's been around at least the last 25
              years- and who loves poking fun at uptight subjects- a very farcical
              person. While it's all meant very tongue-in-cheek, there is much
              simple truth there, don't you think?

              Mondra
               
            • Karen
              I thought it was sharp and witty, I enjoyed it so much i posted it on my blog, and to several other applicable groups I am in. Is there a way to read other
              Message 6 of 9 , Oct 2, 2006
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                I thought it was sharp and witty, I enjoyed it so much i posted it
                on my blog, and to several other applicable groups I am in. Is there
                a way to read other "articles" by this Swami, I would like to read
                more. thanks so much for posting it :) ~Karen

                --- In Ancient-Mysteries@yahoogroups.com, Mondra Rose <mondrar@...>
                wrote:
                >
                > I'm sorry- I didn't mean to offend...... Perhaps political
                satire
                > was inappropriate.... Please forgive.
                > Mondra
                >
                > > no I did not think it was so funny.
                > >
                > >In a message dated 10/1/2006 10:26:56 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
                > >mondrar@... writes:
                > >
                > > >Who is this Swami? A liberal?
                > >>
                > >
                > >He is a humorous columnist who's been around at least the last 25
                > >years- and who loves poking fun at uptight subjects- a very
                farcical
                > >person. While it's all meant very tongue-in-cheek, there is much
                > >simple truth there, don't you think?
                > >
                > >Mondra
                > >
                > >
                >
              • zanadana2
                Please keep posting his writings. I am sure I am not the only one who enjoyd seeing (my) truth said with humor. Zan
                Message 7 of 9 , Oct 2, 2006
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                  Please keep posting his writings. I am sure I am not the only one who
                  enjoyd seeing (my) truth said with humor.
                  Zan
                  >
                  > I'm sorry- I didn't mean to offend...... Perhaps political satire
                  > was inappropriate.... Please forgive.
                  > Mondra
                  >
                  > > no I did not think it was so funny.
                  > >
                  > >In a message dated 10/1/2006 10:26:56 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
                  > >mondrar@... writes:
                  > >
                  > > >Who is this Swami? A liberal?
                  > >>
                  > >
                  > >He is a humorous columnist who's been around at least the last 25
                  > >years- and who loves poking fun at uptight subjects- a very farcical
                  > >person. While it's all meant very tongue-in-cheek, there is much
                  > >simple truth there, don't you think?
                  > >
                  > >Mondra
                  > >
                  > >
                  >
                • mike white
                  the article was a bit contentious and provocative for this group, due to political overtones. plz use caution, so we all can get along. thanks mike ... From:
                  Message 8 of 9 , Oct 2, 2006
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                       the article was a bit contentious and provocative for this group, due to political overtones.  plz use caution, so we all can get along. 
                     
                    thanks
                    mike
                     
                     
                    ----- Original Message -----
                    From: zanadana2
                    Sent: Monday, October 02, 2006 5:30 PM
                    Subject: [Ancient-Mysteries] Re: Wisdom from Swami Beyondananda

                    Please keep posting his writings. I am sure I am not the only one who
                    enjoyd seeing (my) truth said with humor.
                    Zan
                    >
                    > I'm sorry- I didn't mean to offend...... Perhaps political satire
                    > was inappropriate. ... Please forgive.
                    > Mondra
                    >
                    > > no I did not think it was so funny.
                    > >
                    > >In a message dated 10/1/2006 10:26:56 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
                    > >mondrar@... writes:
                    > >
                    > > >Who is this Swami? A liberal?
                    > >>
                    > >
                    > >He is a humorous columnist who's been around at least the last 25
                    > >years- and who loves poking fun at uptight subjects- a very farcical
                    > >person. While it's all meant very tongue-in-cheek, there is much
                    > >simple truth there, don't you think?
                    > >
                    > >Mondra
                    > >
                    > >
                    >


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                  • Mondra Rose
                    Hi Karen: He writes a monthly column, and you can read some of them here- http://www.lightworks.com/MonthlyAspectarian/1998/May/0598-14.htm. If you would like
                    Message 9 of 9 , Oct 2, 2006
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                      [Ancient-Mysteries] Re: Swami Beyondananda
                      Hi Karen:
                      He writes a monthly column, and you can read some of them here- http://www.lightworks.com/MonthlyAspectarian/1998/May/0598-14.htm.  If you would like to write to him- his email addy is swamib@...  Below you will find other links to learn more about Steve Bhaerman.   If you enjoy his type of humor- you might also enjoy 'JibJab' and 'The Onion'.

                      Mondra

                      This Land! - Original JibJab Animations - Classic JibJab Flash Movies
                      JibJab's original animation videos. Watch favorite classics like This Land, 2-0-5, Big Box Mart, Good to be in DC, Farting Elves and other funny flash ...
                      http://www.jibjab.com/originals/originals/ >jibjab/movieid/65

                      Home | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
                      http://www.theonion.com/

                      The Onion - Newspaper Satire
                      The Onion leads the way with finest newspaper satire - often imitated - seldom surpassed. ... ''The Onion'' - humour "The Onion" ...
                      http://humor.about.com/library/blds011599.htm >


                      Political humor, political satire, new age humor - Swami Beyondananda
                      political satire and healing laughter from political guru and uncommontator,  Swami Beyondananda.
                      http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/

                      Swami Beyondananda
                      For the past 18 years, he has written and performed as Swami Beyondananda, the "Cosmic Comic." Swami's comedy has been called "irreverently uplifting" and ...
                      http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/about.html

                      Who Is Swami Beyondananda
                      This article offers a humorous look at the background and upbringing of Swami Beyondananda, an enlightened comic-kaze.
                      http://www.innerself.com/Humor/Who_Is_Swami_ >Beyondananda.htm

                      Swami
                      For the past few years, both through my comedy as Swami Beyondananda and ...  Swami Beyondananda is the alter ego of author, comedian and teacher Steve Bhaerman...
                      http://www.themetaarts.com/pages/swami.html >

                      Swami Beyondananda
                      Swami Beyondananda's
                      Guidelines for Enlightenment. 1. Be a FUNdamentalist. Make sure that the fun always comes before the mental. ...
                      Http://www.geocities.com/~spiritwalk/beyondananda >.htm




                      I thought it was sharp and witty, I enjoyed it so much i posted it
                      on my blog, and to several other applicable groups I am in. Is there
                      a way to read other "articles" by this Swami, I would like to read
                      more. thanks so much for posting it :) ~Karen
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