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More Happy Times for Putsch

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  • ProudLiberal7@aol.com
    More Happy Times for Putsch If he wasn’t such a shit, you could almost feel sorry for him © Bryan Zepp Jamieson
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 1, 2007
       More Happy Times for Putsch

          If he wasn’t such a shit, you could almost feel sorry for him

              © Bryan Zepp Jamieson

      It’s a bit of a race at this point: can the administration destroy
      itself before it destroys America? These isn’t the type of question you
      ask of a typical administration, but this is far from a typical

      Putsch’s disapproval ratings climbed to 65% last week, a figure
      surpassed only by Richard Nixon in the last four days of his presidency
      after the final, damning evidence came out that he had been lying about
      Watergate all along. Nixon, in those final throes, had a 66% disapproval

      Now, a president who senses a certain lack of enthusiasm in the polls
      might turn to some crowd-pleasing measures, as a way of shoring up
      support. Announcing funding for a popular program is a good way to do
      that. A fairly astute politician doesn’t even have to follow through on
      it; he just says he approves of the program and the good it’s done, oh,
      and by the way he approves of motherhood and apple pie, and he’s got a
      five point bounce in the polls.

      Not this administration. They want to do away with State Children's
      Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) the cigarette-tax-funded medical
      insurance program for kids. For over a million kids, SCHIP is the
      difference between getting the type of medical care that, in civilized
      countries, would be considered the bare minimum for what a kid should
      expect as a birthright, and bupkis. Putsch and the GOP whined about
      those poor smokers saddled with those onerous taxes, but since these are
      the same clowns who are yelling that anyone who smokes and endangers
      their health deserves no health benefits at all, it’s pretty hard to
      believe that the admin really cares about the smokers.

      The cigarette corporations? Ah! THAT’S what the admin cares about! As
      long as they can make obscene profits, who cares about a bunch of
      expendable kids?

      The admin also announced they were sending another 20,000 troops to
      Iraq. Aside from the fact that this is a pretty clear violation of the
      First Rule of Holes, there’s the fact that even more people disapprove
      of the occupation of Iraq (and that number would jump if the pollsters
      were honest and started calling it an occupation and stopped pretending
      it was any kind of war). Sixty-seven percent disapprove of the “war”,
      and it’s a little disconcerting that somewhere, there are three million
      Americans who disapprove of Iraq but who still give George the benefit
      of the doubt. Maybe they think it’s Lyndon Johnson’s war. I don’t know.

      Putsch stopped just short of publically ordering General Petraeus to
      come up with a positive progress report next month, but made it clear
      that that is exactly what he expects from the general, no matter what.
      The only way any significant number of people are going to take the
      report seriously is if Petraeus writes, “This is an unmitigated disaster
      and we need to get our boys out of this shit hole YESTERDAY!” And of
      course, quite a few American are still pretending it’s someone ELSE’S
      fault that Iraq is the horrible place it is today. “Those wogs just
      aren’t ready for the white man’s law, is all!”

      The admin managed to leak a story that ought to really improve the mood
      of the Iraqi people. It seems the administration is negotiating to pump
      oil from Iraq to Haifa. Now, Haifa is a nice, clean town. The people are
      friendly, the schools are good, the phones work. The only problem with
      Haifa, from an Iraqi standpoint, is that it’s in Israel. For most
      Iraqis, who are already asking themselves why the Americans are taking
      it upon themselves to ship their oil anywhere, that’s kind of a sticking

      Has nobody in the admin heard of the Sepoy mutiny in India? There, a
      rumor spread that the British were using fat rendered from cattle to
      grease their rifles. The rumor wasn’t true: cattle fat goes rancid in
      that heat in a day or so and rapidly becomes worthless, than detrimental
      to the rifles. But the rumor had legs.

      This is the sort of rumor that can spark huge eruptions in an already
      volatile society. One of the worst mistakes the US made in the immediate
      aftermath of the invasion was to let that idiot Wolfewitz design a new
      flag for Iraq. It had “Allah Akbar” in Arabic script, along with the
      Scimitar, but Wolfie, either to try to make a point as a Zionist or out
      of sheer ignorance, made the flag blue on white. Israel’s colors. The
      Americans showed the Wolfie-flag to a few Iraqis, who must have
      chorused, “You MUST be fucking joking!” and the idea was rapidly
      scrapped. But the damage was done. In three days the whole country knew
      about what the locals considered an American attempt to make Iraq a
      province of Israel.

      I don’t know if the Haifa story is true or not, but the fact that the
      admin didn’t promptly jump on it with both feet and kill it was, in
      itself, stupid beyond belief. It’s a “cattle grease” type of story, one
      certain to inflame passions throughout the region.

      Iraq will not go down as America’s finest moment. America will, however,
      survive it. After all, England has done far worse over the centuries and
      it’s still around. But the UK has lots of enemies, and they don’t even
      have George W to blame for it.

      On the domestic front, a senior Senator openly questioned whether the
      Chief Justice and an Associate Justice lied their way onto the court,
      and the next day the CJ had a minor, but gaudy health issue develop in
      the form of a grand mal seizure.

      This comes at a time when the Attorney General is almost certainly going
      to face impeachment hearings, and Putsch’s former personal lawyer (and
      an SC nominee herself) is facing contempt of Congress charges for not
      responding to a subpoena, a action that even the dumbest lawyer in
      America (not necessarily Harriet Miers, although she’s a contender) will
      tell you is a catastrophically stupid thing to do. It doesn’t matter if
      you’re guilty of anything else; it’s a prima facie criminal act all by
      itself. Just to add to the general hilarity, one of Putsch’s flunkies
      also decided to blow off a subpoena.

      Meanwhile, Rummy has agreed to testify in the Pat Tillman case. It’s
      becoming more and more evident that not only was Tillman killed by
      friendly fire, but he may have been fragged – deliberately shot – by his
      own platoon. What is beyond dispute is that the Pentagon lied about it
      to everyone, including Tillman’s family, so they could try and make a
      war hero of him. Rummy, up until today, was stonewalling, which suggests
      that a) he knew more about it than is healthy and b) he isn’t sure how
      much Congress knows he knows.

      Everyone’s for nuclear proliferation, especially among lunatic Asian
      countries that have nothing in common with one another except mutual
      loathing. So it was bad enough that Putsch broke international law in
      providing nukes to India (having already done the same for Pakistan) but
      now Putsch’s own top negotiator is saying he hasn’t seen what Putsch
      said he was going to do, but it sure as hell wasn’t what HE negotiated.

      Finally, even things the admin can’t fairly be blamed for are coming to
      rest at their doorstep. The news today that the launch of the space
      shuttle was delayed because of a leak in the cabin normally would just
      have people assuming it meant the cabin was losing air.

      Now they wonder if the leak is something one of the astronauts did while
      "Sean Hannity knows that there is no greater threat to America today than Bill Clinton 15 years ago."
      ---Stephen Colbert

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