More Happy Times for Putsch
- More Happy Times for Putsch
If he wasn’t such a shit, you could almost feel sorry for him
© Bryan Zepp Jamieson
It’s a bit of a race at this point: can the administration destroy
itself before it destroys America? These isn’t the type of question you
ask of a typical administration, but this is far from a typical
Putsch’s disapproval ratings climbed to 65% last week, a figure
surpassed only by Richard Nixon in the last four days of his presidency
after the final, damning evidence came out that he had been lying about
Watergate all along. Nixon, in those final throes, had a 66% disapproval
Now, a president who senses a certain lack of enthusiasm in the polls
might turn to some crowd-pleasing measures, as a way of shoring up
support. Announcing funding for a popular program is a good way to do
that. A fairly astute politician doesn’t even have to follow through on
it; he just says he approves of the program and the good it’s done, oh,
and by the way he approves of motherhood and apple pie, and he’s got a
five point bounce in the polls.
Not this administration. They want to do away with State Children's
Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) the cigarette-tax-funded medical
insurance program for kids. For over a million kids, SCHIP is the
difference between getting the type of medical care that, in civilized
countries, would be considered the bare minimum for what a kid should
expect as a birthright, and bupkis. Putsch and the GOP whined about
those poor smokers saddled with those onerous taxes, but since these are
the same clowns who are yelling that anyone who smokes and endangers
their health deserves no health benefits at all, it’s pretty hard to
believe that the admin really cares about the smokers.
The cigarette corporations? Ah! THAT’S what the admin cares about! As
long as they can make obscene profits, who cares about a bunch of
The admin also announced they were sending another 20,000 troops to
Iraq. Aside from the fact that this is a pretty clear violation of the
First Rule of Holes, there’s the fact that even more people disapprove
of the occupation of Iraq (and that number would jump if the pollsters
were honest and started calling it an occupation and stopped pretending
it was any kind of war). Sixty-seven percent disapprove of the “war”,
and it’s a little disconcerting that somewhere, there are three million
Americans who disapprove of Iraq but who still give George the benefit
of the doubt. Maybe they think it’s Lyndon Johnson’s war. I don’t know.
Putsch stopped just short of publically ordering General Petraeus to
come up with a positive progress report next month, but made it clear
that that is exactly what he expects from the general, no matter what.
The only way any significant number of people are going to take the
report seriously is if Petraeus writes, “This is an unmitigated disaster
and we need to get our boys out of this shit hole YESTERDAY!” And of
course, quite a few American are still pretending it’s someone ELSE’S
fault that Iraq is the horrible place it is today. “Those wogs just
aren’t ready for the white man’s law, is all!”
The admin managed to leak a story that ought to really improve the mood
of the Iraqi people. It seems the administration is negotiating to pump
oil from Iraq to Haifa. Now, Haifa is a nice, clean town. The people are
friendly, the schools are good, the phones work. The only problem with
Haifa, from an Iraqi standpoint, is that it’s in Israel. For most
Iraqis, who are already asking themselves why the Americans are taking
it upon themselves to ship their oil anywhere, that’s kind of a sticking
Has nobody in the admin heard of the Sepoy mutiny in India? There, a
rumor spread that the British were using fat rendered from cattle to
grease their rifles. The rumor wasn’t true: cattle fat goes rancid in
that heat in a day or so and rapidly becomes worthless, than detrimental
to the rifles. But the rumor had legs.
This is the sort of rumor that can spark huge eruptions in an already
volatile society. One of the worst mistakes the US made in the immediate
aftermath of the invasion was to let that idiot Wolfewitz design a new
flag for Iraq. It had “Allah Akbar” in Arabic script, along with the
Scimitar, but Wolfie, either to try to make a point as a Zionist or out
of sheer ignorance, made the flag blue on white. Israel’s colors. The
Americans showed the Wolfie-flag to a few Iraqis, who must have
chorused, “You MUST be fucking joking!” and the idea was rapidly
scrapped. But the damage was done. In three days the whole country knew
about what the locals considered an American attempt to make Iraq a
province of Israel.
I don’t know if the Haifa story is true or not, but the fact that the
admin didn’t promptly jump on it with both feet and kill it was, in
itself, stupid beyond belief. It’s a “cattle grease” type of story, one
certain to inflame passions throughout the region.
Iraq will not go down as America’s finest moment. America will, however,
survive it. After all, England has done far worse over the centuries and
it’s still around. But the UK has lots of enemies, and they don’t even
have George W to blame for it.
On the domestic front, a senior Senator openly questioned whether the
Chief Justice and an Associate Justice lied their way onto the court,
and the next day the CJ had a minor, but gaudy health issue develop in
the form of a grand mal seizure.
This comes at a time when the Attorney General is almost certainly going
to face impeachment hearings, and Putsch’s former personal lawyer (and
an SC nominee herself) is facing contempt of Congress charges for not
responding to a subpoena, a action that even the dumbest lawyer in
America (not necessarily Harriet Miers, although she’s a contender) will
tell you is a catastrophically stupid thing to do. It doesn’t matter if
you’re guilty of anything else; it’s a prima facie criminal act all by
itself. Just to add to the general hilarity, one of Putsch’s flunkies
also decided to blow off a subpoena.
Meanwhile, Rummy has agreed to testify in the Pat Tillman case. It’s
becoming more and more evident that not only was Tillman killed by
friendly fire, but he may have been fragged – deliberately shot – by his
own platoon. What is beyond dispute is that the Pentagon lied about it
to everyone, including Tillman’s family, so they could try and make a
war hero of him. Rummy, up until today, was stonewalling, which suggests
that a) he knew more about it than is healthy and b) he isn’t sure how
much Congress knows he knows.
Everyone’s for nuclear proliferation, especially among lunatic Asian
countries that have nothing in common with one another except mutual
loathing. So it was bad enough that Putsch broke international law in
providing nukes to India (having already done the same for Pakistan) but
now Putsch’s own top negotiator is saying he hasn’t seen what Putsch
said he was going to do, but it sure as hell wasn’t what HE negotiated.
Finally, even things the admin can’t fairly be blamed for are coming to
rest at their doorstep. The news today that the launch of the space
shuttle was delayed because of a leak in the cabin normally would just
have people assuming it meant the cabin was losing air.
Now they wonder if the leak is something one of the astronauts did while
drunk."Sean Hannity knows that there is no greater threat to America today than Bill Clinton 15 years ago."
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