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***Thought & Humor*** - Sept. 1, 2005 - Hello September - Welcome Autumn, Football, Changing Foliage & Crisp Evenings - Please Forward

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  • Howdy Your-Friend
    Questions For You: . 1) What part of the strawberry plant is the true fruit? 2) What was the first sport to be filmed - and who filmed it? 3) On what planet is
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 1, 2005


      Questions For You:


      1) What part of the strawberry plant is the true fruit?
      2) What was the first sport to be filmed - and who filmed it?
      3) On what planet is the largest known mountain in the solar
      4) How fast can an ostrich run?
      5) From where in nature do we get quinine, the medicine used
      to treat and prevent malaria?


      Updated frequently during the day!!!
      It was early morning at an Army camp and the first sergeant
      who was a recent UNC grad was calling out names for the daily
      work parties listed on a piece of paper:

      "Seeback"..........." --

      Check out this Blog:


      Updated frequently!!!
      What They
      Forgot To
      Tell Us

      I was teaching at a training school for people entering youth work when I learned about
      a call home that must have been heartbreaking for the dad who made it. The school was
      three weeks long, and dad had already been gone for over two weeks. He was seriously
      missing his wife and two-year-old son, and they were missing him. After waiting patiently
      in the long line that formed every day after classes at the lobby pay phone, he finally got
      to talk to his wife. When he asked how his son was doing, she said, "Not too well, honey.
      Yesterday he came up to me and said, 'Mommy, is Daddy dead?'" Ouch!

      That little guy was reflecting what many a child feels, the "missingness" of the man in his
      life. Not long ago I was talking with a friend who has been looking for a job that wasn't
      seasonal and sporadic like the work he's been doing, and something that would give him
      and his family a better and steadier income. He was on the verge of committing himself to
      a career opportunity that would mean better money but would take him away from home for
      long weeks at a time. When I questioned the idea, he said, "Well, I need to provide for my
      family." Well, we guys were raised on that.

      My friend was right about being a provider for his family. In 1 Timothy 5:8, the Bible says,
      "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has
      denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." Strong words. But that's only part of the
      story. As my friend was considering a career that would provide financially but take him away
      from his family, he may have been missing a point someone forgot to tell us guys about being
      the provider. It's about much more than providing materially. Our word for today from the Word
      of God reveals the rest of the provider story.

      Ephesians 5, beginning with verse 25, tells husbands, "Love your wives, just as Christ loved the
      church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy - and to present her to Himself as a radiant
      church, without stain or wrinkle." God has established the man as provider, but of much more
      than a roof and groceries. It's clear that he's to provide emotionally and spiritually for his wife -
      to nurture her, to love and support and encourage her - helping her become "radiant."

      A man is called by God to be the emotional and spiritual provider for his children, as well.
      Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the
      training and instruction of the Lord." Dads are trusted by the Heavenly Father to be their child's
      coach, and umpire, and biggest fan, and encourager. When my friend realized a new career would
      rob his children of that, he changed his course to a job that would provide, not just the things his
      family needs, but the man his family needs.

      For a man to be what the Bible calls a provider, he's got to give more than money to his family -
      he has to give himself. To love, to nurture, to develop, to stay in touch with their ever-changing
      needs, you have to be there. Many a man has excused himself from the hard but rewarding work
      of building his family by hiding behind the provider myth - that all is well if I just provide materially
      for them. That's the easy part of being your family's provider. The big assignment is to be consistently
      available for what your family needs most: your hugs, your advice, your attention, your praise, your
      laughter, your shoulder.

      Many a man who has paid the mortgage and stocked the fridge has, in heaven's eyes and his family's
      eyes, failed as a provider because he didn't provide himself to them. The past can't be changed, but the
      future is yet to be written. Be the total provider your family so desperately needs, and make the rest of
      your days together the best of your days.

      To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ,
      Or, call 1-888-NEED HIM.
      Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls
      around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
      Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that
      your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same
      kind of sufferings.     --1 Peter 5
       Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
       Big Problems???
       Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
       Want to get REAL help???
         (FREE - English/Spanish)

      (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')



      I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
      foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
      "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
      don't accept His claim to be God."

      That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
      merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
      not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
      on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
      or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

      You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
      the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
      You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
      Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
      Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
      nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
      not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

                -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


      "Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
      well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
      which is eternal life (John 17:3)." 
         - - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643

       "All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
      to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
      fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
      of religion, both in public and secret."
       - - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
      Muhammad or Jesus???
      (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')



         (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


      This government site offers access to historic documents.
      View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
      'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
      never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
      Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
      please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......

              Who is Jesus?  
              (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


      God designed humans to want to believe in something.
      That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
      Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
      of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
      in everything -- including Little Green Men.
                   - - Chuck Colson
      Dear Howdy,
      Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
      for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
      it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
      all need...please keep up the great works!!!
      Type atcha later...
      God bless you,
      Phil H
      The "Birth Pangs" Intensify


      Most people know that birth pangs intensify and become more frequent as
      the baby is about to be born. Some translations call this “the beginning of
      sorrows.” And that is exactly what is happening around the world. News’ stories
      suggest Hurricane Katrina was “a once in a lifetime” event. How many times in
      the last five years have we heard that something, usually a disaster, was “of
      Biblical proportions? Check out my “Signs in Nature” category to verify this,
      at the Web site.

      Hurricane Katrina is America’s tsunami though you might not know that unless
      you’re watching Fox News. What you won’t hear anywhere is that this week New
      Orleans was to observe Southern Decadence Day with 100,000 homosexuals
      gathering there to commit unspeakable acts in public. Previous events were
      photographed and sent to the mayor and police officials but they did not care.
      They had their own lust: The $100,000,000 the event brings in.

      Gambling casinos took a hit on the coast as this is where the eye of the storm hit.

      And as America forced Israelis out of parts of their land, hurricane Katrina was
      building in the Atlantic. A Fox reporter said, “It must be an emotional experience
      (for Americans) to walk away from their homes and not ever live in them again.”
      Same with those forced out in Israel. Israeli homes are being demolished as Gulf
      Coast homes are demolished.

      This was America’s greatest “evacuation.” Now we have “refugees”. Israelis were
      evacuated and many are refugees living in tents and refugee centers, thanks to
      America. The Israeli uprooting will affect their entire economy in that some of
      their finest produce which was exported is now left behind. America’s economy
      could face a steep recession as oil processing refineries were damaged. Plan to
      see price increases within days.
      (Tks: Dr. Bob)
      {Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
      for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}

      Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...

                       (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')

      "I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
      All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
      us through this book."        -- President Abraham Lincoln

      "For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill. 
      The eyes of all people are upon us.  So that if we shall deal
      falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
      so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
      shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
      --John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630 
      "It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
      the Bible." - President George Washington

      "The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
      power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon

      "That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
      - Queen Victoria

      "If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
      the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
      love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
      in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
      but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
      no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
      bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster 
      (Founding Father)

      "The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
      - Patrick Henry   (original member of the Continental Congress)

      "The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." -  President U.S. Grant

      "It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
      The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
      - Horace Greeley  (Editor)

      "That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson

      "In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
      light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee

      "Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)

      "So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
      to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
      citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
      many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
      - President John Quincy Adams

      "The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
      benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
      belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)

      "The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
      known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)

      "All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
      confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
      Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)

      "There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
      any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)

      "Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
      progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
      mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
      and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
      it will not go." - Goethe (Author)

      "I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
      and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
      is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
      distance separates it from all competitors."
      - W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)

      "Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
      due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
      a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
      - John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)

      "The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
      The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
      Huxley (Author & Scientist)

      "The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
      growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)

      "America was born a Christian nation. America was born
      to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
      which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
      Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
      of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
      America free and pure they will make their own spirits
      free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
      --President Woodrow Wilson
      For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
      expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
      God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
      miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
      ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
      wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
      the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
            --President George W. Bush

      "It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
      great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
      not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ.  For this
      very  reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
      prosperity, and freedom of worship here." 
      --Patrick Henry  (
      original member of the Continental Congress)


      Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
      "A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon
        without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
      ~Henry Ward Beecher
      "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
      --Arnold Glasow
      "Laughter is by definition healthy."
      --Doris Lessing
      "If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
      --Bette Midler
      "The human race has one really effective weapon,
        and that is laughter."
      --Mark Twain
      "What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
      -- Yiddish Proverb
      "Laughter is an instant vacation."
      -- Milton Berle
      "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
      -- Victor Borge 

      To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
      heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
      to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
      time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a
      time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)

      NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
      directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
      domain.  If you think that we have published a joke without
      giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
      and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.



      Four important things to KNOW:

      1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
      Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
      Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
      & fall short of the glory of God.

      2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
      separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
      no charge to you) of God  (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
      Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
      (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
      Peace & Savior of the World).

      3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
      (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
      Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
      Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
      His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
      anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes  (trust in,
      relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
      have eternal  (everlasting) life (heaven).

      4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
      No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
      Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
      Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
      to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
      ME (no other name).

      This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
      (Rev. 3:20)

      {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
      things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
      however they are great afterwards!!!}

      Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
      leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
      and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow
      the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
      forever with God), and only a few find it.
            --Matthew 7:13-14
      Send any comments for Howdy to:
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