One Week To Save Your Marriage (i haven't yet but I plan on sending it to other people)
- (my apologies if you recieve this more than once, I sent this to many couples in many forms; please disregard any duplicate messages)
Ephesians 5:22-33 (NIV)
Wives and Husbands
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mysterybut I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
If you, your spouse, and or your marriage is perfect, you can delete this; this is only for people who acknowledge that marriage and life are struggles and when you put those two elements together - you need all the help you can get...
Last night I was up until 2 am watching this show called ''one week to save your marriage''. The knowledge I got was worth a weeks sessions of psychological marriage counseling! If you know anything about me, you know I love to share, so I'm sharing all I got from the show - all I ask is that you take an honest look at yourself and your marriage and apply ''healing'' wherever applicable. I hope it blesses you like it blessed me.
Write down what each of you wants the other to do to save your marriage. Don't hold back anything.
Switch personalities while trying to get a job done. Basically what you are doing is holding up a mirror to your spouse and saying ''this is what you look like to me.'' On the show she used cannoning and a lake, but if your canoe is in the shop, try pretending to take the trash out, cook a meal, decide on a meal, getting the kids dressed, etc.
Stage a ''no yes argument'' where one spouse says ONLY yes and the other ONLY no. Only for about 3-4 minutes
Place a picture on the table of your child or children and stage a conversation that explains the divorce you and your spouse are about undergo. The purpose is to take a REAL look at divorce and what it will bring. Often spouses threaten with divorce without thinking through the consequences of those actions.
Rekindling the romance. Reclaim your bedroom for intimacy, together. Associate the bedroom with intimacy between you and your spouse. Make it you own in a fun and sexy way (for example - flowers, candles, favorite colors, the color red, etc) this is a room that should have boundaries; it should be a place that you can comfortably enjoy intimacy not only sexually but emotionally. A place you can enjoy each other.
Plan the most romantic night and or day you can imagine. Foot massages,candle light dinner, back rubs, rose pedals on the floor leading to the tub, hot oil, whips chains, oh I'm sorry I've gone too far, I'm just trying to help you get the point. Do it BIGG if you can if not, work what you got to make it happen
Give your spouse some ''me time''. Let your spouse know ahead of time if possible so they can plan accordingly. Don't ask where or for how long, make no plans on this day and have no company over or vice versa. Clean up or something while there gone but give the impression this was their time not yours and theirs.
Tell the world about your spouse. Go to a public place with your spouse and tell at least three complete strangers (3 per spouse) nice things about your spouse. This should remind each of you about the positive characteristics your mate possesses
Take your wedding rings off. Talk to each other and address the tasks you have done and what you have learned first about yourself and then about your spouse. After ''eye to eye'' communication ask each other ''do you commit to save this marriage?'' if the answer is yes, you have earned the right to put those rings back on and head back up to the newly decorated bedroom, ''its a celebration!''
MARRIAGE NOTES TO THINK ABOUT:
>- not listening to one another and attacking each other causes you to get absolutely nowhere during an argument. Listening requires a closed mouth not rebuttals.QUESTIONS TO ANSWER ALONE AND WITH YOUR SPOUSE
>- insert more LISTENING and empathy around hurt feelings instead of pointing fingers, it causes your spouse to feel like you don't care about them, the topic being discussed, and or the marriage. Argue less.
>- step up your romantic gestures, both spouses should do this, not just the man.
>- sex is not what makes a relationship, its merely a glue that helps to keep it together and running smoothly.
>- we all must find ways to diffuse heated arguments because somebody will end up saying or doing something they may regret later
>- in order to have good marriage it doesn't mean that you both will share identical sex drives; try, struggle through with communication
>- excessive ''bickering'' will cause you to miss how your spouse is trying to say to you. It increases irritation and frustration between you.
>-do you treat and give your spouse as much attention as you do your hobbies , the telephone, the computer, the playstation, or your girlfriends?PS we have this saved on Tivo so if anybody is feeling what you've read and would like to view it or some food and conversation, you know I'm down. Just let me know, fyi seeing it is a totally different experience. Either way, I hope it blessed you and your marriage or future marriage. Comments are welcome.
>- is romance alive and well or dead and buried in your marriage?
>- when is the last time you both did something romantic WITHOUT THE KIDS!!!!!!!!!
>- are you turned off by your spouse physically, emotionally, mentally?
>- do you feel overwhelmed or over burdened by your spouses lack of parental, financial, or chores around the house? (tip: specifically if husbands don't recognize that wives feel this way, there WILL be problems in the marriage and in the bed)
>- do you and your spouse sleep in separate beds? If so, why are you okay with that? Isn't sex important to you marriage?
>- are you taken care of emotionally, physically, and intimately?
>- are you friends, lovers, or roommates or none of the above?
>- how important is friendship.
>- is something unfair that causes you to feel angry?
>- do you argue in front of the kids or in public?
>- do you feel you have lost the respect of your spouse?
>- are you comfortable in your marriage and have forgotten dating, private time, and how to do those things you did when you were courting each other?
Mr. Milan Drake
The Jabez Project
Where Education Meets Hip Hop
I Chronicles 4:9-10
The Jabez Project - Where Education Meets Hip-Hop
The Jabez Project
P.O. Box 71041
Oakland, CA 94612
"Life is Beautiful. Life is Struggle. Life is a Beautiful Struggle" - Mos Def