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Judging

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  • markandkathy JCCA
    .......................Judging In our special lives of homeschooling we are faced with many challenges which make it especially difficult to keep from judging
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 30, 2000
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      .......................Judging


      In our special lives of homeschooling we are faced
      with many challenges which make it especially
      difficult to keep from judging when we are so often
      judged ourselves for our decisions to homeschool.
      People often question our motives and our decision to
      homeschool due to the same reason we often question
      ourselves sometimes when we first begin to think about
      homeschooling, lack of knowledge. When one lacks
      knowledge in a subject we have a tendency to question;
      sometimes to become knowledgeable and sometimes
      because we are curious. Of course, there are times
      when we are faced with people that are not just
      lacking knowledge, but lack sense and are truly rude
      in their comments regarding our decisions. I try to
      remember when faced with questions or comments from
      the public, family, friends or ps, how I felt when I
      first thought about homeschooling. I most likely
      researched the same questions they ask, "aren't you
      worried about socialization?" or "aren't you worried
      they won't learn enough?" and "don't they want to go
      to ps?" and so on. I had those questions in my
      mind and sometimes I find myself rehashing them, but I
      researched, I became knowledgeable as it was a subject
      I was interested in and going to pursue but they are
      often times blissfully ignorant. So, when we are
      faced with the many questions individuals present to
      us, I believe the best thing that we can do is be as
      knowledgeable as we can in order to respond to them in
      a manner that leaves them no more questions, or at
      least gives them something to ponder. I keep my
      little list of stats in my purse for the very, very
      stubborn, such as my family members, I also started
      sending out a quarterly newsletter, of which has in
      itself changed attitudes. I have the state laws down
      by heart and can recite them backwards. When asked
      about socialization, I tell them my children are more
      socialized than ps children as they not only have ps
      friends, but they deal with people of all ages day to
      day and are faced with many situations. I mention
      that my 9 year old's reading at a 9th grade level and
      my 14 yo is doing 10th grade math, etc. KNOWLEDGE can
      do wonders and so can patience with these individuals
      that may be more curious or even interested than
      nosey. We really must prepare as part of our
      homeschooling criteria to be able to answer these
      questions capabably and intelligently. Children are
      proof, when children are asked why they aren't in
      school or where they go to school, practice with them
      responses so that they are able to be not caught
      unaware, let them know that people are curious and
      want to know more. If individuals are just being
      snoopy you can put them in their place if necessary,
      but know that often people find it interesting and
      want to know more, maybe they themselves are
      contemplating homeschooling or know someone else that
      does. I remember when I first started hs'ing I was
      asked something I felt was rude and nosey, when I got
      a bit uppity the woman just responded kindly that her
      daughter homeschooled and I realized she was just
      opening conversation...oops. I am amazed at how
      children can on their own be proof of their success at
      homeschooling, the topics they choose when speaking to
      adults has never ceased to amaze me, I will hear my
      children or other homeschoolers speak of Picasso, or
      Clinton, or Astronomy, it is such an experience to see
      the adult look at them as if, "hmmmm, maybe they are
      learning something", I have often heard said of
      omeschooled children "they seem so much older than
      they are" and I find this often true as they are
      taught respect and are with their parents dealing with
      issues and situations daily of which they are
      listening and learning, whether contributing or just
      quietly absorbing.

      Unfortunately, homeschooling has become somewhat of a
      "naughty" word in ps systems, but remember again, that
      these individuals are loyal to their employment and
      some truly believe that their years of college and
      experience cannot be out done by well meaning parents.
      Yet, they do not realize that their hum drum
      lecturing is often times slept through, whispered
      through, daydreamed through, etc. as they have lost
      their luster and imagination. I try to understand
      their loyalties and their fear that "if this keeps up
      we'll never get our pay for our worth" as the schools
      government funding dwindles as more and more children
      are pulled from the ps system to be loved and taught
      from their parents. And, yes, there are some
      wonderful, enlightening teachers in those same
      systems. Some that believe in sharing their love of
      learning with others in ways that the child will never
      forget and hold to their hearts forever.

      I have formed a definite wall of determination,
      though, that I wouldn't ever choose to call "picking
      sides" but more a stubborn need to fight for what I
      believe in and for what I feel every parent is
      entitled to - the choice to homeschool their child.
      We have a choice, I do not feel hser's should force
      their ideals on others and demand ps children be
      homeschooled or that I come in and check to see if I
      feel they are learning adequately as I don't believe
      hs'ed children should be forced to be monitored by the
      government or dept. of education (same thing) or put
      in charter schools as they have spoken of.

      IF WE DO NOT WANT OUR CHILDREN IN THEIR SCHOOLS, we
      should have the right to homeschool without being
      babysat by them, just because the school system's
      walls are falling down around them as more and more
      children are being shot and killed within them, as
      more and more children are being threatened, bullied
      and rebel, we should not be the ones as homeschoolers
      to be challenged. Just as I would not allow my child
      to play in a mine field would I allow them to go back
      to public school, the risks are getting bigger and the
      ante is up. Now it is their very lives we must worry
      about. If you are not worried about the short term
      risks of being shot or injured, you must worry about
      the long term risks. And then we are questioned as
      homeschoolers as to why we think we are capable of
      giving them an education?? In my home my child will
      not be shot, will not be sexually harrassed, will not
      be hit, teased, tortured, will not feel inadequate,
      will not lose self-esteem but rather gain it. Oh yes,
      I understand that not the chance of my child being
      killed at school is small, but I will not EVER take
      that chance, I have been blessed to be able to
      homeschool and I take it very seriously.

      Yes, we must try not to judge, but change what we feel
      is wrong. We must hope to not be judged but to bring
      knowledge to those that question. After all, EACH OF
      US is part of the statistics that "they" base the
      rules and regulations on, we must do all we can to
      keep our rights, to not lose our children to someones
      ideas of regulation and finance.


      =====
      Kathryn
      List Moderator, All About Homeschooling
      Check out our website at: www.geocities.com/allabouthomeschool
      A smile shared across miles........

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