Title: Outtakes and Mistakes: Its All About Jean (The X2 Rewrite)
Summary: Same premise as always iin the Outtakesverse, except we begin
exploiting the many plot holes, and nonsensical lines, setups, character
changes of X2.
A/N: WARNING, contains spoilers for X2.
The dishrag formerly known as Rogue (hereafter referred to as
TDRFKAR) was sitting in the living room with her bubble butt boyfriend
Bobby. Everything in their five- minute- old relationship was going along
just peechily, when a loud motor like noise began rumbling down the
driveway. TDRFKARs eyes lit up in excitement and a low keening noise
issued from her mouth. Bubble butt Bobby scowled, already there was a
threat to his relationship with the white striped girl. He put on his most
menacing look, which was only slightly scarier looking than a giggling
Carebear and ran after HIS girlfriend.
Logey-poo! TDRFKAR cried out and flung herself at Logan,
regardless of the fact that she had lethal skin, which wasnt entirely
Logey-poo however wasnt paying much attention to the young woman
he had risked his neck for-repeatedly only a week before. He absently
sidestepped the womans attack and she consequently hit the ground with a
thud. Oh hey kid. Have you seen my lo- I mean Jean around?
TDRFKARs face crumbled from the lack of attention from the man
who really held her heart. Her lower lip trembled and she began wailing
loudly. Luckily for her, the back pocket boyfriend arrived just in time to
pick up the pieces of the crushed girl. Im Bobby. Im her boyfriend.
The teen began, shaking the distracted mans hand. Stay away from her, or
Ill freeze more than just your hand. The ice-blue eyed teen threatened.
Logan finally turned his attention to the younger man. Youre
Jeans boyfriend, what happened to Scott?
No, Im her boyfriend. Bobby said, indicating the still crying
woman next to him.
Oh. Have you seen Jean? Logan asked Bobby who was currently
placing a paciphier in TDRFKARs mouth.
No. Its a big school. Now go away, youre threatening my
Logan walked away, muttering must find Jean under his breath,
completely oblivious to everyone else around him. And suddenly, there she
was, the love of his life, the cream of his crop, the apple of his eye, the
reason he was breathing-Dr. Jean Grey. Jean he croaked, his voice
cracking with all the emotions he had suddenly gained in the past week and a
Hi Logan, how nice to toy with- I mean see you again. The red
haired woman beamed before narrowing her eyes in a very birdlike manner.
Did you find out anything about your past?
Tears suddenly sprang up into his eyes, but he bravely fought them
back. A kinder, gentler Wolverine could still be a bad ass when he wished
to be. He cocked his eyebrow, looked her in the eye and said, The base was
destroyed, and nothing was left.
Jean just laughed. Did you bother looking for it underground?
Yeah Logan, dont you know that all secret bases are hidden? Storm
asked, gliding in from behind Jean.
Theres permafrost year round big guy, it stops the people like you
from detecting the highly insidious nature of the base below the well ruined
surface. Jean threw in.
Logan seethed, how could he have been such an idiot? You mean I
traveled all that way to find nothing, and you people knew where it was all
along and you never told me?
TDRFKAR stopped her sniveling long enough to raise her hand timidly.
I knew where it was Logan, but I didnt want to tell you. I thought Bobby
might get jealous.
Thats right, I would have. Bobby agreed.
Well fine, if you people are going to be dicks to me, Ill just go
sulk. And then Ill smoke a cigar, flirt with Jean and talk to the
professor who I trust with my life from now on. Logan huffed and lumbered
up the stairs to find a quiet room to brood.
Logan! Storm called after the burly man.
We need you to baby sit tonight. As you can see, our oldest charges
act like children, and we need a big strong manly man around in case someone
stages a sneak attack on the mansion. Jean spoke.
Where are you gonna be?
Off somewhere so I can make a grand entrance later on and show
everyone up. Proving once again that its all about me. Jean answered
Jean, I want to kiss you. Logan said, dropping to his knees and
making himself look like a total ass.
Maybe Ill let you. But youre too scruffy and smell bad, take a
shower. Jean said, smiling charmingly.
The adults departed the room, and Bobby was left with TDRFKAR who was
still carrying on like she was having the life sucked out of her-again. But
he didnt mind, because he was Bobby and she was his girlfriend, and for the
first time in his life he had a remote chance of being laid, even if it
would most likely kill him.
(Next Up: Rogue who? attack on the mansion, Storm *hearts* Kurt)
"When are you people going to learn how to fly?" -Magneto 'X2'
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