Title: Not Like You Thought It Would Be
Series: Gradually Tainted
Archive: DH, APE, others please ask
Rating: R, language etc.
Summary: Scott reaches out to a friend in need. A very bubby-fic for Logan
Authors Notes: I blame this entirely on Riot Act. This tune caught my
attention and instantly flung a bunny. Conveniently enough, this story is
the perfect prequel to an upcoming AU fic entitled Bad Blood.
Not Betaed, all mistakes are mine.
******8 Indicates a passage of time.
Disclaimer: I do not own The X-Men; Save You is property of the
delectable Pearl Jam.
Gonna save you fucker
.not gonna lose you
Feeling cocky and strong
.Cant let you go
Too important too me
Charles, come on. Would you just try?
Scott, you know I cant.
Look, hes been gone for three days. This isnt normal.
He just needs time.
Sir, I think its safe to say I know him better than you do. Just this once
Im asking you to do this, for him.
A long pause. Very well Scott. But you know what I think.
I do. But trust me on this.
It took Scott another two days to track Logan down from where
Xavier had located him. Not surprisingly, it was in a town just north of
the Canadian border. Logan always seemed to drift north when something
serious was bothering him. It had been nearly two years since Rogue and
Logan had turned up at the mansion. In that time, Logan had come and gone
as he had seen fit. Rogue always wanted to go with him, she was half in
love with him since hed saved her life on the Statue of Liberty.
Everybody knew there was something unspoken between them. Rogue
embodied it, Jean knew it, Scott knew it, only Logan denied it. His reasons
had never been clear, and he always skirted the question. People had
stopped asking, reasoning that Logan would deal with things in his own time.
It was a very Loganesque thing to do.
Rogue meanwhile was discouraged that Logan showed little more
than a friendly interest in her. Her intentions were always clear, but
never accepted. She had sought Scott out as an outlet for her confusion and
to vent her rejection. Hed come to think of her as a surrogate sister and
looked out for here. In time theyd become great confidents, and Scott
found himself sharing nearly everything with the young woman.
But when his relationship with Jean had finally crumbled, it had
been Logan who had helped to pick up the first pieces of a broken heart.
Logan hadnt shown any interest whatsoever in Jean since his initial visit
to the mansion. On the night of the breakup, Logan had mysteriously
returned. He took one look at Scott before packing him into a car and
driving out to the nearest bar. They returned several hours later,
inebriated and rowdy. A drunken brawl between them had settled the Jean
issue once and for all. neither of them wanted anything to do with her.
Afterwards, the grudging respect theyd had for one another gave way to a
The two men fought together, drank together, and argued about
hockey together. St. John had gone so far as to send Scott a card
proclaiming Congratulations!. Against his better judgment, Scott peeked
inside. The entire senior class had apparently wished all the happiness to
him and Logan as long as their union should last. The insinuations
continued as it was about the same time that Logan moved into mansion almost
permanently. He would still leave for stretches of time, but he finally
seemed comfortable with calling the mansion home, or so Scott had thought.
And fuck me if I say something you dont wanna hear
And fuck me if you only hear what you wanna hear
Fuck me if I care
.but Im not leaving here
Logan had come home after a final stretch up at the base at
Alkali. His ritual upon return was always to seek out Rouge, just to let
her know he was safe and if hed found anything. She had been plagued by
his nightmares since the event, as they referred too it. Logan figured she
deserved to know who the hell the people in the dreams were. She left
Logan. Kitty informed him.
About two months ago. The soft-spoken woman answered.
Where is she?
Im not supposed to tell you Logan. She asked me not too.
The words had stung him. Marie didnt want him to know where
she was? What in the hell was that all about?
Logan, just let her go. You owe her that. Kitty said, and edge to her
voice that meant business.
When is she coming back? He pressed.
Shes not. Scott answered, emerging from a doorway.
Logan just stared at him. Aside from Scott, Marie was the only person he
really liked talking to at great lengths. How- he began.
She went off to do her own thing, just let it alone. Scott said, his
voice indicating the discussion was closed.
Alright, fine. Logan said tersely, picking up his bag and heading back
out the door.
You helped me when I was down
..Ill help you when youre down
Why are you hitting yourself?
Cmon hit me instead
Lets pick up your will
..its grown fat and lazy
Im sympathetic as well
. Dont go on me now
Scott located the bike in no time. It was displayed proudly in
front of the bar. He smiled softly to himself before walking through the
doors to search for Logan. The room was full of smoke, but the unmistakable
hunch of a pointy-headed Wolverine quickly filled his gaze.
It took you five days to find me? You suck Scooter. Logan
said without turning his head.
Youre a hard man to find when you dont wanna be found.
Im not going back if thats what youre here for.
You know thats not all Im here for.
The bartender appeared in front of Scott. The sneer on his
face, told them he didnt exactly like mutants. You wanna park here, pay
Give me a Moose Drool. Scott said evenly.
The bartender plopped it down unceremoniously and gave Scott
another glare before walking to the other end of the bar.
Come home Logan. We want you there. What the hell are you
going to find out here?
Logan gave him a scathing look.
Look Logan, if youre gonna sulk, at least do it in style.
Come back with me.
Nah, youre drunk and Im not driving. Logan answered
And Im not living this life without you, Im selfish and clear
And youre not leaving here without me, I dont wanna be without
Wake up, to see you could have it all
Several hours later, the two men found themselves huddled up in
the dingy little cabin Logan had rented. It was barely bigger than the size
of an average motel room. Logan, while nearly impossible to get truly
drunk, was a lot more willing to talk when hed had some whisky working on
I dunno Scott, I just cant believe she didnt tell me she was leaving.
Not a word.
Well, Logan, did you tell her where you were going?
No, but thatd different. Shes a kid still-
Logan, shes 20. Rogue is perfectly capable of taking care of herself.
Stop worrying, or is there another reason youre being sappy?
No. And if there was, it would be none of your goddamn business dick.
Scott smiled, certain hed gotten to the heart of the problem.
Cause there is but you
and theres something within you
its taken control
.lets beat it, get up lets go
Oh youre in your own world
lets see the whole world
Lets pick up your soul
She pined for you Logan. I mean she was really in love with
you, or thought she was anyway. And you had to have known. Scotts voice
was sharper than it usually was when he talked to his best friend.
I knew it Scott.
Pheromones? He ventured a guess.
Yup. And her body gave off different signals, language wise.
So what was it, I know you had, have feelings for her.
I dont feel like talking Scooter. Im beat, Logan began you
get the couch.
He strode off towards the small bedroom, which was only hidden
by a screen from the rest of the room. Scott heard him settle into his bed
and fall into a deep sleep quickly. He however had too much on his mind to
be able to speak. Scott had been the one to encourage Rogue to share her
feelings, and felt terrible that it had backfired so badly. He alone knew
how much the young woman really cared for what he considered to be his best
Scott wanted both of them to be happy. Theyd seen so much on
the battlefield and away from it. Rogue had a particularly harsh mutation
that cut her off from the world in a very elemental way. She couldnt touch
and he couldnt see. It was one of the things that was always there between
them, the fact that they alone knew how it felt to loose a human sense. It
bonded them, and was one of the reasons they were so at ease with each
other. It had been Scotts nasty job to tell Rogue that hed been wrong and
that the Wolverine wasnt coming around.
And fuck me if I say something you dont wanna hear
And fuck me if you only hear the treble in your head
.to help you
Hey Marie. Scott said.
Her radar was up right away, Scott only used her name for serious
He doesnt feel the same way, I know. Marie said, sadness and resignation
coloring her voice.
I dont know what to say Marie. I feel, well, fuck, you know. Scott
floundered about for words, indicating just how lost he himself felt.
Its alright Scott. Life usually doesnt always work our like you want it
Thats pretty jaded. Scott said quietly.
Its true though, I thought Logan and I were meant to be. You thought you
and Jean would always be together. I know Erik felt the same way about
Do you still feel him in your head?
Yeah, hes usually quiet, but sometimes I still get things from him. The
southern woman drawled.
Scott put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him. They sat in
companionable silence for sometime before Marie broke the silence.
Maybe its not life, maybe its just love that doesnt work out the way you
want it too.
She left Scott there, alone with his thoughts, while she walked away
disheartened and determined to start over again.
Help me help yourself
..please want me to
..please let me to
Logan and Scott woke late in the afternoon, one far more hung
over than the other
You look like shit there Scooter.
Well then I look better than I feel. Scott groaned.
I guess Im driving. Logan said ad they packed their few
belongings and threw the bike in the back of the 4 x 4 and set the course
Im glad you came up her Scott. Brooding gets old after awhile
if theres nobody to beat up, or talk to, when youre drunk I mean.
I know what you mean. Scott smiled.
The rest of the trip was spent in companionable silence.
Annette: We need to talk about Michael
Jackie: Fine. I'll use really small words so you'll be sure to understand
Annette: That won't be good enough!
-'That 70's Show'
Autumn's Penguin Emprium
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