Title: The End is the Beginning
Series: Through My Eyes 7/7
* Disclaimer in part one*
Previous parts can be found at:
Love is Blindness. Three small words with so much meaning and
clarity inside them. Scott is right of course because it is blindness. It
is the one thing that can put us in danger more than any other vice on the
planet. In a sense it is the most destructive weapon in anyones arsenal.
I see that now. Love is what we hold as the highest emotion. It is
universally celebrated, and the death of love is deemed sorrowful enough to
refer to as heartbreak.
I see Jean and Scott right now and I can feel their pain. Jean
is projecting so strongly, and I want nothing more than to tell her that
everything will be all right, that she and Scott will get over this and go
on with their lives. But I cant do that too her, I love her too much to
hurt her. Though it pains me to see her struggling with this, I know I cant
interfere with what is to be. Scott and Jean are adults, not the lost
children I took in all those years ago. Everybody is rooting for them to
pull through this, but it will not be easy.
I know Scott lays part of the blame with me, he would like to
perhaps blame me completely but he is too noble and level headed for such
theatrics. I havent spoken to Scott since he was in my office yesterday,
but I have thought of little else since our conversation. I remember when
he and Jean became a couple, she was 28 and he was barely 20. They were
lucky to have Ororo as a friend. She was the one who got them together and
assured them that the age difference would matter to nobody. All we, as
their friends and family wanted for them was their happiness. Its the most
we can ask for the ones we love.
Ororo is trying to be there for everybody, and not concerning
herself with her own emotions. I have noticed her spending an extended
amount of time with Rogue in the last few days. I feel it is good for her;
the other children have been rather distant towards her since the encounter
with Wolverine. Bobby and St. John have been the exceptions, and I pray
their befriending of her will influence the others quickly. I dont feel
that she is in any danger of being completely alone though. The Wolverine
has taken a keen interest in her, which I feel is a magnificent thing. They
could both benefit from some attention and I think they are a good match, or
will be one day.
I admit it was disconcerting to speak to Rogue a day after the
event. Her speech patterns were disturbingly like Eriks and Logans.
However, after working with Jean, Rogue is finally back to herself and is to
meet with me in about an hour. I truly hope she chooses to stay on here. I
think it would benefit her and the team eventually should she choose to go
down that road. I have no designs for her future, but I cant deny that I
think she would be a great asset with a few years of training. Id
understand though if she didnt wish to join us, but I am an optimist at
The tangled love lives of the inhabitants of this mansion have
always been a cause for happiness and at times worry, but never so much as
now. We have all been forced to look at the dark side of love and examine
if we have it in us to carry on. Sacrifices will need to be made at many
ends. Love always requires sacrifice, even when it is a pure sacrifice.
Love can be a beautiful thing and it always has an element of magic too it.
But if were not careful it can consume us and twist a beautiful thing into
something ugly. Love can lead us to abuse, manipulation, death and hate. I
have seen the happy things that love brings, the caring, the intimacy, the
friendship and just generally feeling content. I am afraid that that time
is over for us. I am afraid that it has been over for a long time and I was
too blind to see it.
Erik has manipulated me. Hes been using me to gain information
about the X-Men, and I am ashamed to say he succeeded. I told him more than
I ever should have. It is an unleveled playing field that my team is on and
it is entirely my fault. Erik is intelligent enough to devise a way to
track the X-Jet. He knew they would be there and he knew how to trap them.
I failed to see what his motivations were for asking the questions. I
failed my team for not being vigilant enough to know what was happening. It
is a mistake I cant afford to make again.
"I hate trees. They're so tall, and arogant." -Eric, 'That 70's Show'
Autumn's Penguin Emprium