You need not read the other parts of this AU series but if you wish to do so you can find it here:
Darker Destiny: No Worth; No Life
By Nadja Lee 14/05/02
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: X-men and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set in the movie universe/an AU. Before the movie
Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.
Summary: A young man tells of his life and desires
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@...
Warning: May contain disturbing elements. This is a VERY dark tale! You have been warned.
Sequel/series: Part of the Darker Destiny series.
Thanks to Estelle for Beta
Have you ever wondered what it is like to have everything and its still not enough
Im bored. Bored of games, bored of life in general. Ive been everywhere, seen everything. There is nothing new to do or try.
Ive been the good boy, Ive been the bad boy. Ive built hospitals; Ive made weapon deals with tyrants. Ive built shelters to the homeless; Ive tried drugs; doing and selling. Ive given millions to charity; Ive paid millions to anticipate in a game on human life; kill or be killed. Ive travelled the world; Ive done it all.
Everything bores me. Ive been everywhere yet why arent I satisfied? What do I want? I own half the bloody world for crying out loud. And maybe thats the problem. The reality of it all. Everything seems unreal. I can buy everything; immunity for the law, life, death and love. Yet, its never real. None of it seems real to me. Its like a giant videogame where I rule supreme. No one has any feelings or any thoughts of their own.
Ive never had any real friends or any real lovers. I can never tell who loves me for me or who loves me for my money. As time has passed Ive come to understand that everything is about money; no one does anything for free. I can trust no one and no one here likes me for me; they like my money. Im surrounded by people all day and night should I wish it so yet Im always alone. No one understands me and no one wants to.
Ive so often heard that I have everything and that people wish they were me. Well, be my guest. Its Hell in my mind even if I live in a golden cage. Its like Im trapped in the worlds greatest prison and I cant break free.
Yet sometimes late at night I dream. I dream of a mothers sweet embrace, of a father who actually remembers my name, I dream of a woman wholl truly love me and wholl stay with me forever
.and I dream Im alone with her, flying high above the ground
..just like an Angel. Just like an Angel.
But thats just that; dreams. My parents were always too busy to see me, I was raised by nannies. Touch and showing emotions was forbidden and now I dont know if I would even be able to feel anything should I meet this dream woman of mine. Can I even feel at all? I dont know for so far the only feelings Ive had have been negative; nothing has touched me or made me feel. Maybe that was why I did so many extreme things from bad business deals to trying daring stunts that could have cost me my life
..maybe I was hoping I could feel. Something, anything. But I didnt.
At night, in dreams, I have hope. Im so sure she is out there somewhere, waiting for me. But as I reach for her shes always gone. At day I know better; there is no such woman and even if there was Ill never find her. No one could ever know my darkness and the conflict in my soul and understand. No one.