Not Another X-Men Parody! Part IV: In Which It All Goes Wrong, and
Act One Ends!
Disclaimer in part one
Archive: DDFH, Black Phoenix Queen
Archive Notes: The end of Act one. When posted please post parts 1-
4 as one act. Thanks.
* Songs are the original work of the author, the characters belong
to someone else, kinda *
Previously: Mustard Streaks and the Weanieman were taken to Xavier's
Excellent Accommodations, Dr. Jean Fraudian and the Wonderboy had a
fight, Kitty had one line, and the Lonesome Crooner broke into the
"I'll tell you why I'm here. And the Lonesome Crooner sang again
"I have no time to sit and whine
about the memories, we both know
But time is cruel and marches on
and leaves us empty handed.
Lonesome, where are you going?
What are you doing?
Have you forsaken me?
Twas I who was left out in the cold!
You built your school, and took the children
Your little family survived
all the while, I was dying inside
We parted ways, we had no choice
You wanted the world
and I'm a pac-ifist
There was nothing else to say
Would you two stop crying
and get to the freaking point?
I'm a bad guy, that's what I am!
I'm nasty and mean and ruthlessly cruel
I kidnap little girlies
and use them to stop the world
I've said too much of my plan, I fear that I must jet!
However, you've got telepaths, you'll figure it out yet!
The meeting was lovely and Charles I love you
but now we say goodbye!
Check your bedrooms and your closets
You'll find the missing key
Te he, he , heeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Without a further note the Lonesome Crooner disappeared with his
cohorts with a writhing package flung over the shoulder of one. It
began to wail
Please put me down,
I dislike heights
and I get motion sic-
* ralphing noise * too late.
"That's disgusting! Onto the search!"
The Search of the mansion
"The kids are all present and accounted for sir." the boy wonder
"And the goats?"
"All in the bedroom." Dr. Fraudian said, looking a little flushed.
"The pheasants?" Charles asked.
"With the chickens, sloth, and eye of Wisteria" the Enegmatic one
"There is one that's missing" the Weanieman began in a voice that
shook with anguish.
"Who? We have the farm animals, and the kids, who'd be gone?"
"The only one with hair of that shade."
"Mustard Streaks!" Everyone chimed in together.
"We've gotta saver her!" the Weanieman lamented.
"But, how? The Lonesome crooner has her now. I'm afraid she's
sentenced to DOOM."
"Wait a minute, he must have left behind clues in his singing. He
always gives himself away!" the Wonderful Leader boy said
" He said something about kidnapping little girlies and using them to
end the world!"
"But what does that mean?" Jean wailed.
"It means he kidnapped the streaked girl, and is going to try and end
the world." Charles explained impatiently.
The Weanieman shot the metal from his arms and said, "Not while these
prongs are still standing."
All was silent
To be continued in Act II