Its Different Now
By Nadja Lee 10/07/02
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: X-men and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Disclaimer: Falling was sung by Roy Orbison and belong to him, the song writers and record company and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie.
Universe: Set in the movie universe.
Summary: Jean finds that her feelings for Scott have changed from pretend to actual love. But how will she explain it to Scott?
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@...
Thanks so much to Estelle for the Beta.
* * *
Come; sit by me in the sofa. Dont look so worried. No, the kids are fine. Charles is fine. Yes, Im fine too. Please...let me explain.
Strange, now I dont know how to start. Okay....Scott, Im falling in love with you. No, wait. Please dont say you love me, dont say you know. Wait till you hear the rest.
Weve been together for two years now. Weve both known that our age difference of ten years would one day mean something and...I guess it has. Yes, I know you dont mind but you see....
Remember all those nights when I held you tight? When I kissed you, let you make love to me....when I told you I loved you?
It wasnt true. I used you, you were just...someone new, young and willing.... Innocent in ways of the heart. I knew I could seduce you, I knew I could trick you.
Please...say something, anything.
Why? Im not sure. To prove a younger man would still find me beautiful? To prove to myself I still had it? Because you were and still are beautiful? Or simply because I needed someone with me, beside me? Someone to hold me, warm me and love me? I dont know. I wish I did.
Why tell you now? No, please...dont turn away from me now. I didnt tell you all this just out of spite. Really I didnt. I just wish you to understand. When I said I loved you then...I was lying all the time. Everything I did was a lie. I pretended to be falling in love with you then I was only using you for my own ends and needs.
But it's different now; you must believe me. I flirted with Logan, hoping that it would prove to myself I wasnt falling for you but I couldnt sleep with him because when we kissed it was your face I saw.
Im so very sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You should never have known but I needed to tell you. If there is to be just the smallest chance for us to have a life together then we need to build it on truth; never lies. No more lies...I promise you, Scott.
Please....I cant see your eyes. I dont know your thoughts. Your face is unreadable to me. Please...say anything even if its just to curse me.
All those years....yes, I know. I know. And Im so sorry. Please, please try and forgive me somehow. No, dont say anything tonight. Please...dont. Grant me tonight.
I'll kiss you now and pray youll forgive me. Please forgive me somehow. Hold me tonight. Make love to me tonight. Stay with me tonight and then tomorrow tell me the truth...
Tell me when the breaking of dawn comes if theres still a chance.
Tell me then if you can ever forgive me.
Tell me if your love can see us through.
Ill pray to hear those words...
Say that you love me
Don't leave me now
Dont leave me now when Im falling in love with you
So tell me tomorrow...tell me tomorrow if you love me still.
Tell me tomorrow...