By Nadja Lee 27/07/02
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: X-men and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie.
Universe: Set in the movie universe.
Romance: Rogue/Logan, Logan/Jean, Jean/Scott
Summary: Rogue talks with Scott about illusions, dreams, love, Logan and the real world.
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@...
Thanks so much to Karen for the Beta.
* * *
He didnt offer to take you with him when you two first met
You cant go by that. Hes a very closed person; hes actually quite shy. He was just afraid Id hurt him; after all he didnt know me then. He had been through so much; he had hurt so much
of course hed be afraid Id do the same. Had I been in real trouble he would have helped me. Hes like that, yknow. He helps people in trouble. No, you cant go by that.
He almost left you standing on the road
He was angry because I hadnt asked to ride with him, he felt like I was invading his privacy. Thats natural. He was still skeptical of me, he didnt know me and he knew I knew he was a mutant. He didnt know how Id react to that. He was just afraid of getting hurt or set up, thats natural with a man who has been through so much.
Besides the key word here is almost. He didnt leave me and thats what matters. He cared for me, asked if I was cold and hungry. No, you cant go by that.
Do you think the nickname kid was just for fun?
Both yes and no. He means it affectionately, because he likes me. He only nicknames people he likes
well, almost only.
Look, hes a very old man, but compared to him everyone is a kid. Besides he means it affectionately because he cares for me. No, you cant go by that.
Hes way, way older than you
So? Hes way older than everyone. The only woman wholl be his age would be a vampire and I havent seen too many of those lately.
Besides I do recall a certain doctor and teacher I know who has some ten years age difference so I hardly think that argument is valid. No, you cant go by that.
Shes quite taken with you
my heart belongs to someone else. Ring any bells?
So he flirts. Every man does. Of course hell find Jean attractive
who wouldnt? She is beautiful but thats all it is. Its hormones and physical attraction. I havent seen him get all worked up over her being hurt or missing. No, you cant go by that.
Tall, red-haired woman
..doesnt mean anything?
Not really. Shes been claimed by another, as well you know and stop looking at me like that, and if thats not enough for her to keep her hands to herself then she should break it off with you first. And yes, maybe they both like to flirt and play but thats all for both of them. Its a game where they both know the farthest theyll ever get is a kiss.
Dont look at me like that. Im not alone in this, yknow. Of course it hurts me that he does this, as it must hurt you that she does it. What can we do? We love them and therefore we have to give them space and hope theyll stop their game some day. No, you cant go by that.
Ill take care of you
.like you do a kid
No, not like a child. He calls me kid but he means it affectionately. He has deep feelings for me. He wants to take care of me like a man does a woman.
Dont shake your head at me, mister. Okay, so he didnt say how he wanted to take care of me
like a child or a woman but who was there? You or me? He even kissed my hair. Okay
so youve done so as well after he left when Ive been sad but youre like
I dont know, my big brother or something. This was different. No, you cant go by that.
He has a foul mouth and worse manners
.hes a fighter and a warrior above anything else. Besides Ive heard your curses, sugah and they could almost make Logan blush. Besides, I dont see you sitting in church every Sunday either. Youre no saint yourself so dont pretend to be. No, you cant go by that. Why do you hate him so much anyway?
I dont hate him. I admire his skills and Im forever grateful to him for having saved you and the others. I guess
I know. The whole Jean thing. Green really isnt your color, sugah. She loves you, not him. Try and believe more in yourself. I love him; its as simple as that.
But he doesnt love you like you wish him to
Maybe not but I choose to think he does. I think he does. Isnt this like discussion whether or not God exists? You cant prove He does, you cant disprove it either. Neither you nor I know his true feelings. I choose to believe in love
.why cant you? Dont always be so sad, so dark. Sometimes good things really do happen to good people. So, you cant go by that.
*Sighs* Is there anything that would change your mind?
No. You cant change a heart when its set. Could you stop loving Jean? I thought not. A heart is a strange thing
its so small yet it controls our every action.
.dont want to see you hurt
I know you dont and I know that was why we talked about this. I know you mean well, I know you want to protect me but dont you see? He wants to protect me too. He has always been good to me and I believe hell continue to be. In your heart youre not really afraid hell hurt me.
No, just that hell break your heart
.and your dreams
*a big hug* There, all better? See, you can smile. Youre actually quite handsome when you smile.
Okay, okay. Sugah, hell not break my heart and even if he does, its my heart to break. I cant control who I give my heart to, it just happens. I know youve had it hard and Im so sorry for that. I wish I could make all your pain go away but I cant. Instead please believe in me
I can take care of myself and if not I know youll always be there for me.
Friend, brother *and* protector
some jobs you have, sugah.
*Smiles softly* Then go
..go on now
.and enjoy your illusions
Illusions? Maybe they are but I believe in them and maybe, if I believe strongly enough that will be all I need.
thats all they are but then keep them because I of all people know how precious and fragile they truly are.
Not those dark thoughts again, sugah. *Smile*
come on. See? I saw a smile. A small one but it was there.
*small smile* Enjoy your illusions while your can
mine broke long ago and Ill never wish that on you.
Such pain in your voice
.One day Ill make you tell me everything. One day when youre ready.
Remember though that illusions live best hidden from view
the real world isnt a good place for illusions
if illusions are all theyll ever be but I intend to make them real, as real as daylight.
.how I do envy you the ability to still dream. So, go on ...and dream
No one should ever lose the ability to dream, to create a world of their own. I know you havent lost the ability to do so but the world you have made for yourself is just the opposite of mine. The world I create is light, warm and filled with love. The one youve made
is dark, lonely and isolated. Dont give up on bright dreams no matter how hopeless things seem.
The day I marry the man I love, the man Ive married tons of times in my dreams
the day you follow me up the aisle and Logan stands as my groom
that day I swear to you; that day Ive proved that dreams come true and illusions can become reality.
Then the day I follow you up the aisle and Logan is the one waiting for you
that day Ill promise to only dream bright thoughts of make believe but until then
until then the real world is where I live and here everything is dark and lonely.