* Disclaimer etc. In part one *
Hogwartrs School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: 8: 00 PM. Weekly Staff
Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of the most prestigious wizarding school
in all of Europe was not what one could 'typical' in any way. He was
good- natured and had a mischievous side that could rival the Weasley
twins. It was that characteristic that led him to call a staff
meeting in the middle of the week
Professor Flitwick, Madam Poppy, Madam Hooch, Professor Sprout, the
ghost of Professor Bins, Professor McGonagal and Hagrid all spilled
into the comfortable room curious as to why they were meeting at such
a time. The chairs in the room had been arranged into a semi-circle,
and a silvery cube had been elevated about a foot off of the ground.
"Ah good you're all here!" Dumbledore said joyfully. "Popcorn?" he
offered, his taste for Muggle treats was a great source of amusement
to many of the mansion's inhabitants. Flitwick was the only one to
take him up on the offer "Now then, if you'll kindly sit down, I've a
bit of a surprise for you."
The faculty took their seats in chairs enchanted to accommodate their
own personal tastes. "What you are about to see, I trust will not
leave this room." He started in a serious tone, before the ever
present twinkle in his eye gleamed. "However, the opportunity to
watch Severus Snape in the hands of Hermione Granger and Harry
Potter, as he shops for clothing is too good to pass up." "Humoriosa"
he chanted and the silver cube suddenly came to life with a picture
like muggle television, only in 3-D. Severus Snape, Hermione Granger,
Ronald Weasly and Harry Potter came into view, and the staff sat
Salem Shopping Centre America 2: 00 P.M.
"Remember, Potter, Miss Granger, any attempts to make me look like an
imbecile will be severely punished. Discreetness is key here" Severus
Snape said in what he hoped was a reproving voice to mask the
paranoia he felt.
Harry and Ron fought the urge to laugh uncontrollably. Visions of
Snape in golf attire flashed through their heads. Hermione sensed a
coming discrepancy and quickly took the decision into her own
hands. "Harry, why don't you take Ron into Blue Anchor? Professor
Snape and I will be in Eddie Bauer, we'll meet back her in an hour"
she said curtly before strolling off to the latter store. The three
males stared at her retreating figure before rushing off into
Ron and Harry entered the Blue Anchor. Ron was immediately blown away
by the vast array of pants and shorts in front of him. "How do these
people live?" he muttered. "What in blazes is khaki?" he wondered
"It's a particularly hideous shade of tan Ron. Best to avoid it"
"Let's just move over here," he said pointing to a large rack of jeans
"Are you sure we should be picking this out by ourselves?" Ron
queried; looking absolutely stunned at the task before them.
"What, would you rather have Hermione pick out everything for you?
I've lived in the muggle world for 17 years Ron, I am capable of
picking out some jeans and t-shirts I think." Harry stated in an
Ron looked nonplussed. "Look Ron, everything goes with jeans. Just
pick out some jumpers and some t-shirts and you'll be set. Although I
suppose we should get something a bit more formal, but this store
doesn't seem to cater to that," he said glancing around at the
plethora of skateboarding tee's.
Ron sighed in defeat and began picking clothing off of the racks.
Harry noticed he wasn't paying any mind whatsoever to the
sizes. "Ron, you have to pick clothes according to their size. You
have to remember, they're not enchanted to fit the wearer."
"Oh Merlin's balls, Harry! This is impossible."
"Fine, we'll get Hermione then."
The two boys stalked out of the store and ran into Hermione waiting
outside the dressing room entrance for Snape. "Hermione, Ron won't
listen."Harry whined like a child.
"What, sizeing problems?" she looked critically at Ron for a few
seconds, "size 24X28 for trousers, and large-extra large in shirts."
The boys starred. "I worked at a department store between fifth and
sixth year." She stated simply.
Harry and Ron scampered off again looking rather sheepish. Severus
Snape reappeared a moment later, or rather his voice did. The man in
whole refused to leave the dressing room. "Miss Granger,
this 'outfit' you've picked out looks absolutely ridiculous."
"Well I won't know that for certain unless you come out here and show
it" she began impatiently.
She trailed off as the man reluctantly stepped out of the booth and
into view. Hermione had chosen some semi-casual black dress slacks
and a blood red button-down shirt. She thought the effect was quite
nice. Where had Snape been hiding those broad shoulders and muscular
arms all these years? "I don't see a problem" she replied when she
was capable of speaking again. Snape chose to snort, in obvious
disbelief. He instead choose to bite his tongue and try on the other
garments that she had picked out for him. The surealness of the
situation hit him hard. Imagine him, Severus Snape relying on a young
Gryffindor witch to dress him. He nearly cracked a smile at the very
idea; instead he scowled and roughly grabbed his pile of clothes.
Hermione was waiting for him outside. "Now all we have left to get
you is proper socks, shoes, and um, underwear" she said coloring
"Underwear? Good heavens girl, whatever for?" he asked too stunned to
thrown in his usual vemon.
"Muggle clothing and wizarding are very different sir."
"How the bloody hell would you know?" Snape exploded.
Hermione's face colored a bit. "It just is," she said not meeting his
eyes. "The packages are located over there, I expect you can find
your own" she finished in a tight voice.
Snape's look at her retreating back was one of pure hatred. He was
certainly not going to believe her rubbish about the difference. He
longed to take 15 points from Gryffindor for her impudence. At the
moment he hated Albus Dumbledore for sending him to babysit three
disgusting Gryffindors. He scowled at the clerk at the counter,
satisfied to see the look of apprehension on the teen's face as he
thrust the credit card at him. He hoped his act would cover up the
fact that he really wasn't all that familiar with the process.
Thankfully the boy simply asked for a signature and stutteringly
muttered to "have a nice day." Snape gathered his things and stalked
out of the store to where the three aforementioned babies were
congregated. It seemed that Potter and Weasley had managed to scrape
up enough muggle clothing for at least two other boys. He could only
imagine how many Hermione would obtain. He'd heard muggle girls loved
to shop, he looked at the clock and saw that it was already 3:00. At
this rate they'd surely miss dinner. He strode up to the trio to
catch the last bit of an argument.
"Harry don't be so daft! You wouldn't want to wear the same pair of
knickers every day would you?"
"No" he answered.
"Bras operate on the same principal!" she hissed at him before
walking into a store with a pink and white logo. Who the hell was
Harry and Ron exchanged a conspiratory look before trailing their
friend. Bloody hell, Severus thought as he realized he'd walked into
a women's lingerie shop. The last place he ever expected to be, let
alone while supervising three students. Perhaps he'd just stand back
by the poorly shaped thing displaying two tiny scraps of fabric.
"Oh, 'Mione, try this little number" Harry said mischievously holding
up a medowgold colored underwire."
"Harry James Potter. Don't EVER attempt to pick out my underwear
again!" Hermione said, her eyes flashing dangerously.
"Yeah, Harry. Red's obviously much more her color," he said before
the two fled, daring no more to test Hermione's wrath.
Snape held in a chuckle. That'd teach her to talk to other people
about such things. He couldn't help agreeing with Weasly though, red
was much more fitting with her. Without saying a word he walked back
out to watch the dynamic duo. About 20 minutes later Hermione
returned from the Secret shop with two small bags clutched in her
hand. Not giving the three males another look she entered a clothing
store. Presumably to find clothes to go over whatever she'd just
Still refusing to speak to either Ron or Harry, Hermione quietly
informed Snape that if there was nothing further, they could return
to the mansion. He thanked her kindly for her permission and called
Xavier. Scott Summers arrived a few minutes later to pick them up.
Ron could have sworn he was Percy's long lost twin brother, minus the
red hair of course.
**** Hogwarts *****
"Fineted!" Dumbledore cried out and the screen disappeared.
"I would love to ask Severus if he prefers boxers of briefs," Madame
Hooch said cheerfully.
"Indeed. Thank you for the entertainment Albus!" professor Flitwick
"Quite welcome. Now, I'm afraid I must insist we all get some sleep"
the cheerful headmaster yawned.
The staff departed and went their separate ways. Dumbledore couldn't
resist and conjured up the image of Severus' reaction to
"If he retires, could always make that the new entrance to Slytherin"
The picture faded, and Albus left the staffroom and whistled all the
way into his chambers.
****** Xavier's ********
Dinner was relatively uneventful as many of the students were still
away on their Summer break. Headmaster Charles Xavier had returned
from his visit with Dumbledore and had the four wizards as Jonathan
Slytherin, Mia Sensible, Jeffery Redding, and Lee Scarsdale. It was
obvious that Dumbledore had influenced the names.
"Jeffery? Who names their child Jeffery?" Ron had complained.
"I see nothing wrong with the name" Hermione said briskly.
"Yes, well you got off with a rather sensible name, didn't you?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, still slightly annoyed with the boys and
headed for the library. The school term was to begin in three days
time, and Xavier had gently suggested the wizards spend time adapting
themselves to their surroundings and observing the permanent
residents of the castle.
Snape had looked sour, as that required him to spend more time in the
company of the Gryffindor trio. He had however dutifully complied and
had allowed Harry and Hermione to explain how electricity worked and
how to use a computer. He found the latter very fascinating indeed.
Ron seemed very taken by the big screen television in the den and
marveled at the voice controlled locks on some levels of the school.
As it turned out, the fifth level under ground was to be theirs for
the duration of their stay. Their own chambers had been magically
altered to include a hidden passage down into the work area
After the long weekend, the three retired for the night, anxious and
ready to greet their new roles as mutants. The students would arrive
tomorrow and the masquerade was to begin.
Meanwhile in Hageltonia.................. Evil was still
School Daze, evil quite afoot, and a few other things........