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Sunday June 4th 2005 Issue #2005
Visit our website at http://www.wrestling-online.com
//->> OPENING WORDS FROM THE EDITOR
Colin Vassallo -[editor@...]-
We have a special ECW section up at http://www.wrestling-online.com/ecw/
. You will be able to download the 'You Wouldn't Understand' posters
which are being used in New York plugging the PPV and some other stuff.
We'll have the page updated throughout the week once we receive new
material. Items will be online until the day after the PPV.
Order the 3 disc set of WrestleMania 21 DVD now
Log on to http://www.wrestlingmegastore.com
//->> WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
Web version at -[http://www.wrestling-online.com/news]-
> THE DRAFT BEGINS TOMORROW- Shaking things up usually is for the best, and that's what the company
will try to accomplish starting tomorrow on RAW with the 2005 Draft
Lottery. Picks will be drawn at random with the RAW brand picking from
the SD roster and vice versa. Everyone is in the draft, including
respective champions, announcers etc. For the whole month of June, the
draft lottery will be played on television on RAW and Smackdown! The
first RAW pick will be tomorrow while Smackdown! gets their first pick
on their television tapings. Each brand will get five draft picks, one
> RAW AND WEEKEND RATINGS- The Memorial Day edition of RAW pulled in a 3.6 this past Monday with
a 5.6 share off hours 3.3 and 3.8. That is certainly not nice after last
week the show did a 3.8. In weekend ratings, Velocity did a 0.5 with a
1.1 share, Experience did a 0.5 with a 1.5 share and Heat a 0.7 with a
1.4 share. (Ratings compiled by Nielsen Media Research and put online by
> SMACKDOWN! RATINGS- Smackdown! did a 3.0 rating with a 5.0 share for Thursday's show.
(Ratings compiled by Nielsen Media Research and put online by
> CHAMPIONS TEAMING UP- The respective heavyweight champions for both the RAW and Smackdown!
brand will be teaming up together for the first time ever in a tag team
match. At the July 11th RAW tapings at the Continental Airlines Arena in
East Rutherford, NJ., Batista and John Cena will be joining forces in a
match against Triple H and John 'Bradshaw' Layfield. That is unless
there's a title change between now and that date. The match is expected
to be for fans only in the arena and not televised.
> OKLAHOMA GETS UNFORGIVEN- The state of Oklahoma will be hosting its first ever WWE pay-per-view
later this year, with the RAW brand doing the honors with Unforgiven.
The PPV will take place at the Oklahoma City Ford Center on the 18th of
September with tickets going on sale on August 6th at 10AM.
//->> RAW TAWK
Hola, RAW Tawkers!
Rather than making excuses and explaining where I've been and what I've
been doing over the last couple of months, how 'bout we just skip it and
get right to the SmackDown portion of my column?
Last Thursday, Carlito proved that he really IS cool! Being his own
guest on "Carlito's Cabana?" That's not just cool. . .that's CARIBBEAN
Who will win the "Winner's Choice Battle Royal?" Who cares?!? Far as
I'm concerned, *I'm* the winner, cuz I loves me some Battle Royal!
When MNM first appeared on SmackDown, their highlights looked so bad, I
thought they surely must have been a last minute, backstage decision.
Considering that the trio has been around for a couple of months or so
now and their hair doesn't look any better, I guess I must have been
mistaken. Can you blame me, though? I mean, who would believe someone
would do that to their crowning glory. . .on purpose? And, while I'm
venting my spleen, can we talk about Mercury and Nitro's pants? UGH!!
And Melina's. . .um. . .UNIQUE way of entering the ring? I'm sure the
males of the species won't agree with me, but I think it's just plain
STUPID! She makes Stacy Keibler look classy, in comparison. In keeping
with my usually positive outlook, though, I have to look on the bright
side of MNM. . .and that would be Johnny Nitro's rock hard, really
ripped and TOTALLY chewy abs! I'd throw away my cheese grater and buy a
big brick of extra sharp cheddar if he'd come live with me!
I learned two things about Kurt Angle last Thursday: He hates ECW. .
.and he REALLY hates the name Robert. . .
Usually, if I mention signs at all, I talk about my favorites. However,
I must comment on one I noticed in the SmackDown crowd that said, "You
Sux." Not only can that person not spell, but his grammar ain't so
To conclude my SmackDown comments, I'd like to express my disappointment
in the Battle Royal match. Why do I love them so when they're always
predictable? Oh well. . .at least some of the guys wore interesting
garments to the ring. Auntie Ginger's pick for coolest pants goes to
Scotty 2 Hottie. . .with Honorable Mention going to Shannon Moore.
We'll talk about RAW in a few minutes but first, I'd like to share a
little story from my Memorial Day weekend. I think I'll call it,
"Ginger and Joey's Tacoma House Show Adventure!"
That's right. . .my son, Joey, and I attended a RAW brand house show in
Tacoma, Washington last Friday night. When I first found out about the
show, I didn't really want to go out of town for a show with no grand
entrances or pyro. After a little thought, though, I remembered that,
in many ways, house shows are more fun that televised events. Plus,
after being cooped up during tax season, I was ready to get out of
town. Too bad I never seem to make it to my destination without getting
lost. . .
Honestly, if I wore one, I'd take my hat off to the WWE Superstars and
all other people who travel for a living. After two days of driving
around in an unfamiliar city, I was ready for a vacation! Maybe it's a
symptom of having been born and raised in the same area, but being in a
strange town stresses me out. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't
manage to take a wrong exit or make a wrong turn on pretty much every
road trip I've ever been on. My only saving grace is my uncanny sense
of direction (once I pull over and get my bearings, that is!) and the
fact that I *am* willing to ask for help. . .after I've tried to find
the way myself, unsuccessfully.
I made it to Tacoma easily enough. Unfortunately, when I got off the
freeway, I went right when I should have gone left. It could have
happened to anyone. . .it was one of those multiple choice exits with an
"A" and a "B." I made the wrong choice. The worst part was, I didn't
realize it! Isn't it almost worse when you honestly believe you took
the correct exit, because then - if you're like me, anyway - you just
keep driving around and around, looking for your destination and
thinking you're crazy because you can't find it! Finally, I found a
Quizno's and went in to ask for help in finding my motel. Luckily, I
asked a person who really knew her way around, because she gave me
excellent directions that lead me quickly, easily and exactly to where I
needed to be!
As if getting lost wasn't bad enough, the weather in Tacoma was a record
high. Maybe it's my "Sunny" personality, but I never seem to hit
Seattle and Tacoma when it's cloudy or rainy. That area of the state
has a reputation for dreary weather but, every time I go, I seem to take
the sun with me. I happened to catch the Tacoma weather forecast on
Thursday night (because SmackDown comes to me via a Seattle/Tacoma
station on cable) and was nearly DISTRAUGHT when I found out that record
hot temperatures - in the 90's - were predicted for the weekend. It was
hot back home. . .I wanted to get AWAY from the heat! But, no such
luck. To make it worse, I completely forgot to bring sunscreen. By the
time I arrived in Tacoma, my face and left arm were bright red and
In addition, I was upset because I arrived at the motel almost two hours
later than I had planned. The last time I went to WWE shows in Tacoma,
I learned a hard lesson about leaving early enough to park in the Tacoma
Dome parking lot. The Dome may have been only ten minutes from my
motel, but in order to park in a relatively secure (and relatively
inexpensive!) area, you have to arrive a couple of hours before the
doors open. I left work early enough to get to the motel at about 4:00
p.m. - or so I thought! I guess I should have taken into account the
Friday before a Holiday weekend factor. And, you know, the fact that I
have kind of tradition of getting lost. . . So, like I said, I'd
planned on arriving at the motel at about 4:00 p.m. and leaving as soon
as I'd checked in so I could get a good parking spot. We ended up
arriving at about 5:45 p.m. I was severely ticked, assuming I would
once again have to park in a questionable area of town - and pay $20 for
the privilege! My luck was in this time, though. Perhaps because it
was an untelevised event, though I arrived at the venue after fans were
already being admitted, I got my $10 slot in the lot. . .pretty close to
the building, too! Turns out, if I'd actually made it to the Dome when
I'd planned to, Joey and I would have either baked in the car. . .or
turned into crispy critters standing in line for two hours! I guess
someone upstairs was watching out for us, after all! :)
Sadly, while entertaining, the show wasn't quite as eventful as the trip
to get there! But I'll share the results with you, anyway!
Maybe I'm just jaded because I've been to quite a few WWE events, but
I'm just not as breathless about seeing the show live as I was once upon
a time. Heck, I don't even buy shirts as souvenirs anymore. . . If
there's one I really want, I just wait for it to go on clearance at
WWEshop.com! Still, I found it kind of cute that so many fans were
taking pictures of their friends, kids, etc. with the RAW ring in the
Prior to the first match, we were introduced to our Special Guest Ring
Announcer, Candace Michelle, who greeted referee, Mike Chioda, with a
peck on the cheek. I'll give you three guesses who took on Tyson Tomko.
. .and anything but Viscera doesn't count!
"Big Vis" pinned Christian's "Problem Solver" for the win. . .and then
he grabbed the mic. He talked about the fact that Memorial Day weekend
was a perfect time for a barbecue. . .and that NOBODY knows barbecue
like Big Vis. He called Candace into the ring, saying he needed
something to nibble on. He persuaded her to do her famous dance (God,
that woman is talented. GAG!) And then he treated us (GAG GAG!!) to a
little dance of his own. Then, after a little dip and a little kiss,
the drippy duo left the ring. . .which leads us to our second match of
the evening. . .
Chris Masters vs. Tajiri. Tajiri was adorable, as he struck a
"Masterpiece" pose, and was greeted with enthusiastic "ECW" chants. He
got off to a good start by kicking the crap out of Masters' legs - even
forcing him to flee the ring at one point. But eventually, the Japanese
Buzzsaw succumbed to the dreaded Masterlock.
Probably the most fun match of the evening came next in a Triple Threat
Tag Team Title contest featuring Champions Hurricane and Rosey vs. The
Heart Throbs vs. Maven and Simon Dean. Say what you will about the
challengers but, they're hilarious! Romeo and Antonio interrupted the
match repeatedly because they felt the need to boogie. And the crowd
drove our favorite fitness guru so crazy with their "Simon Sucks" chants
that his partner, Maven, had to cover his ears to save his sanity. It
actually took a while for the contest to get underway, because no one
could agree on which two combatants would begin the match. The Heart
Throbs - being way smarter than they look - came up with a foolproof
plan. . .Rock/Paper/Scissors! Eventually, The Hurricane and Romeo
locked up. Due to the suggestive dance moves of RAW's newest tag team,
nobody wanted to tag Hurricane and take their chances in the ring with
Romeo. Everyone backed away when the Green One approached. . .including
his own partner. Even the referee scooted out of the ring! Briefly,
the two heel teams befriended one another. . .at least long enough to do
a little dance and have a friendly push up contest. The festivities
ended with Hurricane pinning Simon Dean to retain the World tag team
In one of my favorite moments of the night, the hot and hunky Jonathan
Coachman made his way to the ring. He ousted ring announcer Jason
Roberts and the ref and proclaimed himself Special Guest Ring Announcer
*AND* referee for a Diva contest, featuring Victoria vs. Christy Hemme.
The crowd seemed to be firmly behind Victoria until - GASP! - she took a
turn toward the dark side and Coach assisted her in her wicked, cheating
ways! Against all odds, good managed to triumph over evil. The
original referee reclaimed his duties and Christy picked up the win.
Match five was an ECW rules match featuring Gene Snitsky vs. Chris
Benoit. After a hellish day (am I a drama queen or WHAT?), I got ticked
off during this match because, while they probably didn't mean any harm,
the crowd prevented me from enjoying myself. I understand that
excitement can cause fans to rise to their feet. That said, it makes
absolutely no sense to me that the people in the front row - who have a
nearly unobstructed view of the ring, have to remain vertical for an
extended period of time, thus forcing everyone behind them to stand, as
well. Joey and I had awesome eighth row seats. For most of the show,
we had no trouble seeing the action. However, fans felt it was
necessary to stand up for most of the "ECW" match. I was exhausted and
didn't feel like standing, so I missed most of it. I do know that there
was a hellacious "We Want Tables" chant at one point and Benoit won the
match. Oh yeah. I can also say with certainty that it *was* Snitsky's
Next was an Intercontinental Title match pitting the Champion, Shelton
Benjamin against Captain Charisma himself, Christian. I'm a fan of both
these men but, not being sure when or if there would be an intermission,
I'd waited as long as I could for a potty break and a cool, refreshing
beverage. Guess I should have gone during the ECW match!
Although I missed the majority of the IC match, if the sounds coming
from the audience can be trusted, it must have been a Slobberknocker!
(I can't believe I just said that. . .) In case you hadn't guessed,
Shelton Benjamin pinned the Engineer of the Peep Train to retain his
After Christian had left the ring, his former partner, Edge, made his
way out - sans Lita! (She was advertised to be there, too!) I
surprised myself. . . While I still consider myself an EdgeHead, I find
his betrayal of Matt Hardy - and therefore his relationship with Lita -
very distasteful. It may make a good story on TV, but knowing that it's
rooted in reality makes me a little sick. I'd decided against
making a "You Screwed Matt" sign (I didn't make *any* signs, as a matter
of fact) and hadn't quite decided if I'd join in with the chants if they
started (they didn't). But, when Edge hit the ring and looked over in
the general direction of where my seat was located, I thrust my right
hand in the air with my ring finger and thumb held down and shouted
"V-1-AH!" at the top of my lungs! I was gratified to see a couple of
other fans flashing the Mattitude sign at Edgeward, too! (As a side
note, the lady sitting next to me gave me weird looks from time to time
during the evening. My "V-1-AH!" shout prompted one of those looks. I
think she must have thought I was confused, since it was clearly Edge
and NOT Matt Hardy in the ring! Sheesh! What's up with these people
who don't get all their wrestling news on the Internet??)
Anyway, Edge excused Lita's absence by saying she was back at the hotel,
keeping his bed warm. He further taunted his opponent, Kane, by saying
that, after he stuck it to him, he'd go back to the hotel and stick it
to his wife. How frickin' romantic! :D The match was short,
disappointing and kind of pointless. Edge pinned Kane. End of story.
The highlight of the night - fittingly - featured Chris Jericho vs.
Muhammad Hassan who was, of course, accompanied by his sidekick,
Daivari. In true heel fashion, Hassan came out badmouthing the locals.
. .and, to add insult to injury, he kept referring to the town as
Vancouver! Never one to just shut up and wrestle, Y2J picked up the mic
and reminded Hassan that he wasn't in Vancouver. . .he was in Tacoma,
Washington! (Insert cheap pop here!) Jericho went on to say that,
overtime, he'd learned three things about Hassan and Daivari: 1)
They're A$$clowns, 2) They smell like cow poop (yes, he actually said
"poop". . .but he may have said "camel" instead of "cow". . .) and 3)
They cheat. Jericho said that he'd come prepared. He'd found someone
to stand in his corner and even things up a bit. . .and he'd found that
person right here in the Pacific Northwest! Jericho further proclaimed
that this person was just as tough and mean as the Ayatollah of
Rock-and-Rolla himself! Would it *really* take you three guesses to
figure out that the man Jericho was referring to was "Rowdy" Roddy
I didn't think so! :)
So, with a little help from his fellow Canadian. . .um, I mean his
SCOTTISH friend, Y2J emerged victorious after forcing Hassan to submit
to the Walls of Jericho. That's right. . . Hassan may be undefeated on
RAW, but he has at least one mark in the "loss" column when it comes to
Post match, Jericho honored Piper by saying he'd been waiting his entire
fifteen-year career to work with the Legend and that Piper was one of
his boyhood idols and a major reason why Jericho had become a wrestler
in the first place. Blah-blah-blah, hug, hug, NEXT!
(Just kidding. Jericho would be entertaining to me even if he just
stood in the middle of the ring and did nothing!)
Our main event was Batista in a handicap match against Triple H and Ric
Flair. Flair was the first man in the ring and the crowd showed him
lots of love and respect. And, because there were no television cameras
and he didn't have to worry about blowing his heel persona, he humbly
acknowledged our love. He truly IS "The Man!" Other than that, there
was nothing really remarkable about the match. I was rather
disappointed because, at the last WWE house show I attended, Triple H
put on one helluva comedy show. Not that he was boring last Friday, but
it wasn't exactly slapstick. Too bad. He's *really* good at it!
Oh yeah. Batista pinned Ric Flair for the win! :)
Now, at the risk of having my column chopped in half by my Editor and
sent out in two separate newsletters, let's see if I can sneak in a few
quick comments about last Monday's RAW!
Just for the record, even though I personally am not a huge fan of
Bikini Contests, I chose Christy Hemme as the winner, myself. Of
course, I'd wager that my scoring system was a bit different from The
King's. I chose Christy because her bathing suit matched her towel!
Um. . .but let's just keep that between you and me, huh? Geez! I guess
Victoria's house show heel turn foreshadowed the "When Divas Attack
Bikini Contest" on RAW. Backstage, when Todd Grisham asked Victoria why
she'd done what she did, she gave the standard "Marcia, Marcia, MARCIA!"
response, saying, "It's all about her and I'm SICK of it!" Judging by
the crowd noises, I'd say Victoria's not the only one!
In a side note to Jerry Lawler, I guess Trish isn't the only girl who
enjoys a game of kickball, huh King? :D I'm glad to see Victoria
didn't do any permanent damage, as The King was looking for Stacy to
"console" him less than five minutes after the kicking incident!
Speaking of Stacy, was anyone else irritated by that immature "Stacy's
Hot" chant? As if she needs more encouragement to bend over and show
the world her panties. PUH-LEASE!
That said, Chris Jericho is HOT! Maybe I'm old-fashioned (or, you know,
just OLD!), but I think he looks SO much sexier when he's fully
clothed. There's something about a man in a tee-shirt, jeans and a nice
jacket that's just. . .well. . .sexiful! Even cooler than his wardrobe
is the fact that I can smell a Y2J heel turn in the air. . .and it
smells like Drakkar Noir! Num-num!
But. . .wait a second, rock star! What's that Jericho said about never
having been dumped? What about Trish? How soon they forget. . .
Edge's busted open mouth made it look like was wearing too much
lipstick. I sure hope he didn't knock loose any of his dazzlingly white
teeth. And I noticed Lita didn't give him a congratulatory kiss after
his tainted table match victory over Benoit!
Speaking of Lita, I'm surprised she's part of Bischoff's anti-ECW
movement. . .considering her history there.
J.R.'s concern for Batista's health and well-being and his ability to
face Muhammad Hassan in the main event after being beaten with a sledge
hammer a week ago was touching. However, considering that I watched Big
Dave defeat Triple H and Ric Flair in a handicap match just three days
prior to his match on RAW, I wasn't worried!
To wrap up RAW Tawk, some constructive criticism. . .
- The Masterlock Challenge is stupid and old. Why not just send Kane
out there and end it, already? Or, better yet, let Steven Richards kick
the living crap out of Chris Masters.
- Val Venis needs to grow some hair.
That's it! Take care and see ya next time!
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