DARWIN AWARDS: Chlorinating the Gene Pool � 5 February 2002
Darwin Award: STUDENT COMPACTOR
October 2001, Tennessee | Eight freshman college students were hanging
around a vacant library late one night, when they decided it would be
a thrill to leap into a small opening they thought was a laundry chute.
Perhaps a few more years of college would have helped them realize that
libraries don�t often have laundry chutes. It was actually a garbage
chute feeding directly into an automatic trash compactor. 19-year-old
Wesley was the first to jump, and he enjoyed an exhilarating three-story
slide before being crushed to death in the rubbish bin below.
The other students decided not to follow.
Darwin Award: RISKY REENACTMENT
October 1993, Illinois | A police officer was trying to show another
patrolman how their fellow officer accidentally killed himself, by
reenacting the shooting incident a week later. But the 20-year veteran
forgot to unload his .357 Magnum and wound up shooting himself in the
stomach. He died in a car crash while driving himself to the hospital.
Honorable Mention: CHARCOAL GRILLED
October 2001, Florida | A dozen Burger King marketing department
employees found out first-hand why meat cooks... when they burned
their feet on hot coals during a fire-walking ritual. It�s the heat!
One woman was hospitalized and the others were treated by a doctor
summoned to the scene. The company-sponsored event was intended to
promote teamwork. Next time you complain about your company�s inane
team-building exercises, remember this story and count yourself lucky.
Personal Account: REGULAR & EXTRA CRISPY
"I own a family entertainment center with arcade and video games.
We occasionally replace out-of-date games, and dismantle the old
ones into pieces small enough to toss in the dumpster out back.
"One day I gave our two intrepid game room employees, nicknamed
Podunk and Donut after their radio call signs, the task of destroying
two outmoded games. The first game was sent to Atari heaven with
no fuss, thanks to a 5-pound sledgehammer. The second game was more
obstinate. The boys broke the handle of the sledgehammer against it.
"So Podunk and Donut decided to heave heavy cinderblocks at it.
But that only succeeded if you consider broken cinderblocks a success.
They tried ramming the game with a car, which did little but damage
the vehicle�s front end. Brute force was getting them nowhere fast.
"In the interest of safety, speed, efficiency, and a minimum of
wear and tear on their tools, they decided to burn the game down.
"Podunk filled the interior of the game with fumes from an aerosol can,
while Donut manned the cigarette lighter. You can guess the rest.
Both employee�s sustained second degree burns to their arms and faces,
and the game cabinet is still alive and well.
"Now the boys have new names: Regular and Extra Crispy."
There are a more new stories on the website. Vote for your favorites!
PRECARIOUS PERCH http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2001-35.html
THE FINNISH LINE http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2001-34.html
FAMILIAR KNICKERS http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2001-28.html
On February 12, Charles Darwin's birthday, 2001 Winners will be Announced!
Copyright 2002 by Wendy Northcutt www.DarwinAwards.com
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